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RE: first time caning - 5/6/2009 2:44:02 PM

KoolnSassy

Posts: 65
Joined: 5/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

To be honest I am a little bit fearful about it.

Ha ha - I think that may just be part of Her agenda.

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KoolnSassy

(in reply to Dubjacko)

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Post #: 21

RE: first time caning - 5/6/2009 4:43:30 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KoolnSassy

quote:

To be honest I am a little bit fearful about it.

Ha ha - I think that may just be part of Her agenda.

Well if your sub is out of commission the first day, there isn't an agenda.

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"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to KoolnSassy)

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Post #: 22

RE: first time caning - 5/6/2009 4:45:07 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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Most likely the punishment is a "funishment" scene, not for an actual infraction. Not my thing, but not something I get worked up over, either.

My first time being caned was by someone I hadn't played with before, but did know. I got well over 200 strokes, that included lovely welts and bruises that lasted over a week. However, it was the double-handed tap-tap-tap-WHACK sort, and was yummy pain for the most part, not full power.

We were in a public play space, not a private hotel room or home, which seems safer to me. It bugs me a bit when people introduce submissives or bottoms to a new toy in a negative way - frequently it turns something that they might otherwise have enjoyed into a hard limit.

(in reply to KoolnSassy)

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Post #: 23

RE: first time caning - 5/7/2009 1:29:38 PM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

it wont be anything like as bad as you think - really. i mean it will hurt, but its not going to cut you or leave you mentally scarred.

my first caning was with a guy from here. it was a disciplinary set up. i travelled up to london on the train, was so petrified that when i got to waterloo i nearly turned right round and went home again. i dragged my feet the whole way.

im no massochist. but i took way more than 20 of the cane, though ill admit not all at once, slipper, paddle, otk. the whole thing took a good two hours on and off.

fact is youre adrenaline will be pumping, the part of you thats been wanting this will carry you there, beyond that youre Domina will pace you as she sees fit and make sure youre handling it.

youll be fine. honest! - if i (the wimp of all time) can take it from someone ive never met, so can you. good luck with it all. at the end youll be so happy and proud of youreself! -

(in reply to Andalusite)

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Post #: 24

RE: first time caning - 5/7/2009 5:18:49 PM

Drifa

Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dubjacko

Thanks for all the replys, I think I have to take the advice of more experienced people in the scene. I suppose I was too quick to agree and should have thought things out in a more calm manner. I will not be staying in the home of the Mistress but in a hotel so I will still make the trip, the break will do me good if nothing else. I am am glad I asked the question as I could have made a big mistake. Thanks again guys for your comments....

One thing to watch out for in yourself is in letting your fantasies and sexual arousal take you past the limits your ordinary common sense would allow if you weren't keyed up.

I always make sure all the discussions about limits and whatnot are discussed before a scene starts. Once my head is into a scene, I may not only agree, but may actually beg for, more damage than I actually want to live with the next day (while I like to be able to feel "reminders" from the previous night's play while sitting in my desk chair, I want to be able to actually sit in that chair!) And when it's a new person you've never played with before, there's the excitement of the new, and the fear of the unknown, all charging your emotions and clouding your judgement.

Another thought here - your domme may have been trying to gauge how much of what you are saying is fueled by sexual desire versus actual desire for submission.

This illustrates the good part of a LTR... you get to work these things out over time and you know that you can trust your partner. But even after 15 years together, if we're thinking of something new or different, or we get a new toy, we do discuss it and think about what we will do with it. The need for good communication never goes away.

(in reply to Dubjacko)

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Post #: 25