Online Relations (Full Version)

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CatdeMedici -> Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:06:37 AM)

I know that at times we, Me as well, poopoo online relationships. It just amazes Me, that some never move to any realtime interaction.
 
So My questions are these:
 
1. Submissives: how devoted are you really to an online Dominant
 
2. Dominants: how seriously do you really take an online relationship?
 
3. How deep do your emotions run toward an online personage?
 
4. Do you feel as healthy in that as you would in an inperson interactive relationship?



RCdc -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:14:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I know that at times we, Me as well, poopoo online relationships. It just amazes Me, that some never move to any realtime interaction.
 


And yet, you have online relationships?  Do you dismiss your own?
 
the.dark.



LaTigresse -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:18:56 AM)

I don't get involved in online beyond "you may be what I am looking for, visit and see". Or "this person is a friend of sorts"

I cannot get emotionally attached to a person that can be as vague about themselves and their lives, disappear without a trace, as a person can online.

Very few people I've communicated with online have actually followed through, therefor I really don't take it all too seriously.

I want too much from a relationship for internet and phone communication to be the limitions of it. It's just one of those things I really do not understand and to be honest, I don't want to. I am sure it works fine for others, but I know myself too well to ever fool myself into believing it will satisfy me. I would rather have no one, than a cyber something.



CatdeMedici -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:23:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I know that at times we, Me as well, poopoo online relationships. It just amazes Me, that some never move to any realtime interaction.
 


And yet, you have online relationships?  Do you dismiss your own?
 
the.dark.

 
I have online friends, I do not have online relationships.



SailingBum -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:24:43 AM)

A good deal of the time online is the only option cuz one or both are already married. how can you dom or sub in  a relationship when it's not your primary relationship.  ie your online dom says go to bed and masturbate.  online sub says I can't my spouse is in bed and once i start they will want to do the deed with me.

Do ya see what Im getting at?  That being said there are quite a few bitches on here I lust for... and would glady take them for a ride on my polo pony IF they happen to be passing thru.

BadOne



LaTigresse -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:26:19 AM)

And even with online friendships, there is (at least for me) a difference. I do not get nearly as emotionally invested in anyone online. I just can't. It's one of the reasons I tend to avoid the "condolenses" type threads. All too often it would be empty platitudes without any real feeling behind it.



ranja -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:29:40 AM)

I tried to explain what i get out of it in my 'cyber matter' thread of a week or so ago if you wanna look?
and in answers to your questions
1. I won't play with more than one at a time and will try and meet his demands as best as i can for as long as we gell
2.Up to them
3.Depends on how well He plays me
4. I feel totally healthy although i might be completely mad of course

(I should point out that i do have a real relationship that takes first place)



CatdeMedici -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:30:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

And even with online friendships, there is (at least for me) a difference. I do not get nearly as emotionally invested in anyone online. I just can't. It's one of the reasons I tend to avoid the "condolenses" type threads. All too often it would be empty platitudes without any real feeling behind it.



I agree with you LaT, I should clarify that each of the very few online friends I have, I have had some personal interactions with them beyond online, meettings, phone chats etc--others, meh. Online is a means to stay in touch, not as a sole avenue to interaction.



plushiecat -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:31:19 AM)

Friendship IS a type of relationship.  Any good friendship will involve feelings, possibly (likely hopefully) a type of love as well.  I do love my friends, very much, and use the term 'friend' very sparingly.  I have 5 people I call friend, all RL, and the others are varying degrees of acquaintances. I do not foster online 'friendships' any more than I would a romantic/BDSM relationship.  I would no more have an 'online friend' than lover.  Maybe I can't differentiate between lover/dom/friend because when (or if) I do find my dom, he will also be a friend.  



Phoenixpower -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:33:22 AM)

Whilst I can get attached to a certain degree with someone online and can get an impression if he might be able to be the kind of Dom I am looking for, I am someone who wants to meet fast in person to avoid foolish games and to avoid being involved with someone who is far from what he pretends to be. Therefore online-"relationship" does not goes far with me and I am not very devoted as I regular enjoy to shatter "Dom's"wish to do as I am told on webcam or however...so to take online orders or demands does not work for me... My current involvement experienced how impatient and dismissive I can react when we aren't able to meet asap, which happened in his case for a variety of circumstances...but he stayed Dom enough and did not run off scared like a mouse when I did display my stroppy moments and had now my best 1:1 meeting I have ever had on here...so...who knows what it might lead to...so for me is online only to get to know each other a bit more and nothing else.



kuriouswitch -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:42:27 AM)

1) I'm extremely loyal/devoted to Master. We spend a lot of time online yes, but equally we spend a lot of time on the phone. For me online is easier, I have a speech impediment so typing is easier than trying to get what I want to say out vocally. But also, Master and I make sure to involve ourselves in each other's lives as much as possible. He knows my friends and family and how things at work are, he knows what meals I make everyday ect. and the same for him, he tells me all of these things as well. Master's helped me through some very hard personal things and I've made sure he went to the doctor when he got an infection in his foot. I wasn't there and he scared me with his behaviour but I was able to call him and stress that he needed to go now. we make sure to do lots of things to build bonds, we'll go on youtube and share music and listen together, share jokes or funny stories we find. Master takes the time to teach me about things like his diabetes or will describe how to work on a car, and i'll show him the latest project i'm working on.

2) can't answer that one lol

3) well, with previous people the emotions never ran deeper than friendship. With Master they run a lot deeper, which is scary some days but most of the time I love this feeling. In some ways we have to work a bit harder to build a bond knowing that we can't rely on touch to do some of it for us. It means both of us have to be willing to put the effort in to keep things going smoothly. it takes more talking too sometimes to get past a hard spot.

4) well for me online isn't ideal but we work with what we have. I feel it's just as healthy as an inperson relationship, just we aren't there face to face. webcams help a lot as well as the phones. being able to see and hear one another and the tones and expressions help because really the only element missing is touch. It's an important element but one that can be mostly worked around. In a lot of ways it's allowed us to kind of bypass the physical stuff and work on the mental and emotional things, so we have to communicate more
\



RCdc -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:43:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici
 
I have online friends, I do not have online relationships.


So you are never emotionally invested in them?
 
the.dark.



TaoWoman -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:43:26 AM)

Looking at online friendship much as the "pen pal' of old with the benefit of technology still does not move the relationship much beyond the label of "correspondent" which does keep emotional involvement in check.

Having become emotionally involved online in relationships that were intended to become physical, the desire and intent for submission was authentic but the reality of the devotion never manifested. When meetings were continually delayed, the "relationship" withered...

Without the hand pulling hair and head back so lips are crushed together, body pinned down so that what is dominated is taken, the sting of the flogger across the ass.....there are only empty words typed with one hand while the other attempts to compensate for the feel of another~





oceanwinds -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:46:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I know that at times we, Me as well, poopoo online relationships. It just amazes Me, that some never move to any realtime interaction.
 
So My questions are these:
 
1. Submissives: how devoted are you really to an online Dominant
 
2. Dominants: how seriously do you really take an online relationship?
 
3. How deep do your emotions run toward an online personage?
 
4. Do you feel as healthy in that as you would in an inperson interactive relationship?


I like your post CatdeMedici. Many are against online only relationships, and it would be nice to hear from those who arent and have had success. In my case, it isn't something I would choose.



KoolnSassy -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:47:04 AM)

I think online is great for a start. It provides a safe and comfortable environment in which to learn about one another, sniff out the BS, so to speak, and discover if there is enough commonality to make it worth proceeding. For Me, and of course that's all I can speak for, I would not find it fulfilling as an ongoing relationship. From past experience I've found that it's just not possible to truly know another person until they stand (or kneel) before Me and we interact real time.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:49:05 AM)

I used to take o/l relationships very seriously because I used to tell Myself since I'm dealing with a real person I should treat 'em like real people. But I learned the hard way that people tend not to take o/l seriously so I stopped, I also just decided to enter r/l because in the end, thats all that counts.



RCdc -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:51:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I do not get nearly as emotionally invested in anyone online. I just can't. It's one of the reasons I tend to avoid the "condolenses" type threads. All too often it would be empty platitudes without any real feeling behind it.



A slight detour I know, but I really abhore the whole condolense threads and name dropping threads of who's great and whos the best on a personal level.  If I have anything to say to an individual, I will contact them as an individual.  I get a little green (ha and not with envy) about public outpourings of affection, apart from birthday threads and threads of a congratulating nature, which are more a pointer to peoples personal success, rather than empty favouritism.
 
the.dark.



kuriouswitch -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:53:27 AM)

1) I'm highly devoted to Master.
3) Normally my emotions with anyone online tend to stay at friendship level. With Master it goes deeper. We've both spent a lot of time making sure we communicate (even when i think he should read my mind) and we do things together online to build bonds, like listening to music on youtube together, or going shopping online together or things like that.
4) well the only thing really missing from an online relationship versus an inperson relationship is the fact that there's no touching. i can't touch Master physically and he can't touch me. For some that's a big deal, for me at least it's okay cause it makes us focus on things like communication, learning about one another's lives ect. Master's helped me through some really tough personal stuff and I've helped him through a scary part. And we both make a concerted effort to share our days, what's going on, what we need to accomplish next ect and he keeps me focused on my tasks.

just a small disclaimer: Master and I are meeting face to face in a few days so my ideas/feelings on the above may change or may not.

edit: oops posted twice, thought i'd lost my first one but now don't know how to delete this one lol 



ranja -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 10:55:34 AM)

If you need to feel the hands or the flogger on your body cyber will never do; the erotic 'pen pall', if good, will only satisfy a craving in your mind.
It most definitely is not suitable or even understandable for everybody.



SlaveBlutarsky -> RE: Online Relations (5/6/2009 11:02:16 AM)

 

So My questions are these:
 
1. Submissives: how devoted are you really to an online Dominant


Um, what do you mean 'online Dominant?' I guess I'm kind of niave in the world of online relations. As a social tool, I use the internet for meeting people that will turn into real life friends. I would never serve someone who is strictly online.

If it were something that had the possibility for real, legitimate possibilities and we used the internet/webcam type stuff due to distance/logistics, I'd treat it like she was next door, but something tells me that's not what you're asking. I'm almost afraid to ask what you're asking.

3. How deep do your emotions run toward an online personage?

I've actually fallen very deeply for someone who I 'met' on a message board. It was a vanilla msg board about sports, and her and I kind of flirted with each other jokingly for a long time and then got to PMing each other for a few days and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I told her that and she said the same thing. We started emailing and speaking on the phone and met a few times over the course of two months, she lived about 5 hours away. I was into it hook, line and sinker.

Well, it turns out she was married, but seperated at the time. She wasn't honest with me up front and as I found out more about the situation, I found out there was more she wasn't honest about so i told her until she can be completely honest with me, I have no use for her.

She wound up getting back with her husband six months after that.

While I think the internet is great for meeting people, I would never have a legnthy period of getting to know someone like that again without meeting them. It's too easy to hide shit over email that you can't hide with your eyes, voice or body language.

I would be lying to you if I told you my little internet romance didn't take a lot out of me for a couple of reasons. I don't doubt that it can be done successfully, but I also think people tend to miss a lot of red flags when they're getting to know people like that.

 
4. Do you feel as healthy in that as you would in an inperson interactive relationship?


It's not a healthy thing for me, i just would rather live in the real world. Over the time I've been on this site I've been contacted by a bunch of women who seem to love this online thing, like they play World of Warcraft and are recruiting me to join so we can spend more time together. It just seems completely assinine to me, but to each their own.

I guess different people see the online thing in different ways. For some it's where they live their life, for others it's a supplement to living their life.




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