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DemonKia -> RE: Meeting people from CM (5/6/2009 5:10:56 PM)
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FR
Huh. Well, okay. I'm not particularly 'femme', but I have birthed & nursed chilluns, so I think that makes me at least tentatively 'female', depending on ones 'reality' of course . . .. . lol
Anyways. I was meeting people locally, off of Craigslist & thru / from the local munch community a few months before I was on CM (my first profile I started in spring '07, tho' I deleted it last fall, mostly on a whim) . . . ..
I have met one person off of CM, last year. She came all the way from the Bay, a coupla times, but it wasn't a good fit . . . . .
I'm more than willing to meet people, but I'm in a rather small town (only about 100k in the urbanity, & about a quarter mil in the county) & at least two hours from the nearest large urban area (Sac, the state capital -- somewhere in the half a mil to a mil range, & lots of kinksters as befits a political town) & three or four hours from SF, the high holy capital of freakdom, my favorite city on the planet, yeah baby.
Oh. But I don't drive, much. Don't keep a car. I carpool some.
Been seriously considering / working on a plan to relocate to SanFran (even at risk that they'll wanna lynch me for calling it that, lol) . . .. . . & its massively better 'fishing pond' . . . .
Um. Oh. I like to meet in public parks. We have one of those 'quaint' downtowns, situated right off the college campus, so it's very lively . . . . . & we have one of those 'town square' one-block wide & deep kinda parks, all concrete & benches & dedicated chess tables & a big honking fountain in the middle, & that's always my hands down fave for a 'public meeting place' -- it's free, it's nice, I get in some quality people watching no matter what happens, & there are tons of coffee places & so on within a few blocks . . . . . (&, of course, now that I've perfected my 'method', I've pretty much given up on meeting a 'special someone' locally . . . . . . )
( [;)] Some of you may wonder, 'why the hell does this woman write such long-ass posts?' . . . lol . . . . I write first for me, then, incidentally, for anyone who likes what I write for me . . . .. lol . . . . . Yeah, yeah, I'm an arrogant, ego-maniacal asshole, thanks for noticing . . . . lol . . . . . I save most all of my writings, always have . . . . & most of these really long-ass things I post here, I keep, with their URLs, so that I can go back & steal from myself as needed . . . . . Rewriting is how 'real' freelance writers make their money, so it's one of the many things I practice at . . . . . But. Anyways. End of blathering, self-centered aside. A special extra for the attentive . .. . . [;)] )
So. I have this thought that's occurred to me amidst the chorus of 'go to a munch & meet someone there' -- yeah, not such a big fan of that. I'm all for people getting involved with their local communities on a friendly basis, but I'd advise caution about finding & playing with sexual-romantic partners thru that method. That's where taking one's freaking time is a really good idea . . . . .
My cautionary tale: thru my local munch I met play partners, got involved in a relationship that I ended because it was not meeting my needs. & there are hurt feelings. I'm okay out of it, but there are some bent noses & it makes munches, & our rather lively munch discussion list, a little awkward sometimes. More for them than me.
(It was one of those ostensibly string-free things, which was part of why I lost interest. Then, when I ended it, it turned out that the others had been churning out all kinds of string, uncommunicated. Their feelings were hurt. I'm in a better place, more educated for the whole thing. & amused. It was definitely one of those massively under-communicated things, too -- which was yet another reason I wanted out . . . . . *deep sigh, shrugs* . . .. . . I don't like hurting people's feelings unduly, & they played it all 'cool' & 'loose' & 'distanced' & then acted all butt hurt after, & I frankly have to just throw my hands up . . . . But anyway.)
& ultimately it had a huge impact on our local munch community because not-so-humble little moi was the only one hosting play parties in town. (All the other play parties are a coupla hours drive, minimum.) & getting 'so involved' helped contribute to me being in a 'state of burnout' about hosting parties, so they're on hiatus until somebody else steps forward, or I get over myself. Hehehe, assuming I don't abscond for the big city first . . . . . .
& the conclusion I'm deriving at this point is that any given individual should pursue all the avenues available. Munches, vanilla life, online, play parties -- the more one gets out there, the more chances for something to click. Just be cautious about getting ones munch world entangled in ones romantic-sexual world -- munch communities are valuable for so many other qualities, it's nice to have real-life kink friends without all that other baggage attached. My opinion, but of course . ... . .
Okay. Nuff of that. You may return to your regularly scheduled on-topic reading. Thanks. [;)]
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