Arrogance? An explanation please (Full Version)

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Kalista07 -> Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 5:06:15 PM)

Most people who have read anything i've ever posted on here know i'm a wee bit off. i'm okay with that. But, i'm seriously trying to figure this out..i've honestly never felt better than another living soul a day in my life..Never....Ever....Ever... The only experience i have with 'acting arrogance' is during a time in my life where i really and truley felt inadequate and less than everyone else. So, i acted like i thought i was better than everyone else because i was so afraid  someone would figure out how less than everyone else i was.....But, something tells me that's probably not 'true' arrogance. I mean, surely some people must really believe that they are better than other people.  But, i don't understand this..Where does this come from? Is this some kind of defecit within me, or why do i not understand arrogance?
Thanks in advance for any suggestions, information, experiences, etc. that you care to share.
Kali 



NorthernGent -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 5:12:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Most people who have read anything i've ever posted on here know i'm a wee bit off. i'm okay with that. But, i'm seriously trying to figure this out..i've honestly never felt better than another living soul a day in my life..Never....Ever....Ever... The only experience i have with 'acting arrogance' is during a time in my life where i really and truley felt inadequate and less than everyone else. So, i acted like i thought i was better than everyone else because i was so afraid  someone would figure out how less than everyone else i was.....But, something tells me that's probably not 'true' arrogance. I mean, surely some people must really believe that they are better than other people.  But, i don't understand this..Where does this come from? Is this some kind of defecit within me, or why do i not understand arrogance?
Thanks in advance for any suggestions, information, experiences, etc. that you care to share.
Kali 


This could quite well develop into a self-congratulatory thread on the non-arrogant being somehow more noble than the arrogant. Ironic eh.

How many times have you heard this: "you know, I really thought he/she was arrogant, but when you get to know him/her he/she is actually a decent enough sort". It's because he/she wasn't particularly arrogant in the first place - it's the mob on a witch hunt, usually talking bollocks of people they know very little.




Kalista07 -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 5:18:24 PM)

NorthernGent..... I'm not doubting that does indeed happen. Although, i don't have any personal experience with it. i also don't buy into 'mob' or 'witch hunt' beliefs or propaganda... Perhaps that is where part of the problem lies. Okay, well that and i'm way too much of a conspiracy therorist to buy into group think stuff.
No fears of me personally developing arrogance over not feeling arrogant, but i do understand what You are saying....Just for the record i just don't understand and am sincerely trying to understand.
Kali



missturbation -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 5:19:52 PM)

I'm arrogant a hell of a lot of the time. It's certainly not because i feel i am better than anyone else though, it's just the way i am. Further analysis of why? Who know's, maybe i just believe in myself and therefore come across quite arrogant. Maybe it's because i'm pragmatic and my matter of fact stance comes across as arrogant.
I personally love arrogance in a man, it's yummy. In a woman, not so attractive - go figure !!



kittinSol -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 5:21:49 PM)

Self-assuredness is great. I find false modesty more off putting than arrogance - most of the time. Then again, I'm seriously arrogant myself, but that's only because I am the best. It's tough, being at the top of the pile *sigh*.



sappatoti -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 5:48:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07
... i also don't buy into 'mob' or 'witch hunt' beliefs or propaganda... Perhaps that is where part of the problem lies. ...


I have lived enough places within the US and experienced enough regional quirks to realize that a social phenomenon that some call "mob metality" or "witch hunts" is very real. For instance, when I was a young lad living in the Midwest, I was considered to be the quiet sort by my peers. When my family moved into New York state, all of a sudden I was a cocky, arrogant, and racist S.O.B. So, what had happened? Did I somehow change my personality without my knowing? Of course not; I had simply changed my location but since I was too young to understand the complexities of a regional social "personality", I didn't understand the hostility I felt coming at me from my new set of peers.

Over the years I learned that people who live entrenched lives in one social climate, such as a geographical region, may not be as open to an "outsider" moving in with "strange or perverse ideas." And it's not just a phenomenon related to geographical regions. It is prevalent in personal relationships, for instance when one person falls in love with someone who is outside of their race, nationality, religion... what have you. This phenomena also happens in business relations, political relations, whatever.

Mob rule, witch hunt, the clique... whatever you wish to call it, exists. Is it arrogance... or is it more likely an intolerance, either purposefully or not, towards those who are different in some fashion? I don't think I'm qualified to answer. Just knowing that it, whatever it's called, exists is enough for me to change how I go about introducing myself into new situations.



kdsub -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 7:02:38 PM)

We've talked about how difficult it is to communicate on a message board without voice tone and body language. Often people seem arrogant and it is just the medium we are using.

And you should be sure not to confuse confidence with arrogance…again it is hard to differentiate between the two on a message board.

Some people feel anyone who disagrees with them is arrogant…lol

And finally some people just can’t be humble… they feel through experience that they are superior and naturally talk and act in that manner… they are beyond help.

Butch



kittinSol -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 7:04:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Some people feel anyone who disagrees with them is arrogant…lol



That's true. How DARE they?!



kdsub -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 7:10:01 PM)

I know…. Don’t you just hate it when small intellects with smaller body parts dare to disagree with us?



kittinSol -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 7:12:35 PM)

Fuck yeah [8D] . It's turning me on: perhaps I should hop into the Mistresses forum.



Joseff -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 9:26:13 PM)

I often feel superior to others, its not difficult, just watch Jerry Springer, or Rock of Love. As for being arrogant, I probably am, or at least seem that way to others. I am very self confident and secure in my abilities, and this is usually reflected in my speech and demeanor. I have heard that creative people usually have high self esteem, and tho I don't believe mine is up to the arrogant bastard level, it is high. However, I usually don't intentionally act in an arrogant mannor except when confronted with the type of mentality displayed in the aforementioned TV shows.



YoursMistress -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/6/2009 11:29:51 PM)

Kalista,

There is a difference between arrogance and narcissism.  I myself have a deep narcissism which is not rooted in the belief that I am better than others, but that I am at the center of everything.  I sometimes take responsibility for things beyond my control, admitting to being unfit or incapable.  In a way similar to that you describe, I like to elevate myself not overtly, but subtly , in a backhanded way.  Perhaps there is a common thread to the way this manifests. 

Yours



Rainfire -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/7/2009 7:47:27 AM)

[sm=dunno.gif]

I've been called an arrogant snotty intellectual simply because I love to read and learn and can be on the quiet side in a lot of situations. I wasn't always like that - when I was younger, I tried very hard to be the life and centre of the party. Usually, the people who call me the nastiest names are the ones who either know me the least and have no clue as to who I really am or are family members who get pissed off because I have moved on and chosen another life for myself than the one THEY wanted me to do. (It was my mother who said to my face "you're nothing but an arrogant, snotty intellectual bitch at times that I can't stand." She has issues that she refuses to deal with and since I refuse to play into them, she gets angry and holds a grudge. Her problem, not mine.)

Many things can come across as arrogance, whether the person is truly arrogant or not is another matter. Lumus can be arrogant but living with Him, I can say that at times it's justified. He's an incredibly intelligent Man who works with a bunch of people who can be idiotic morons at times. He's in a highly technical job working with people who have no clue what the frak He does yet want to tell him how to do His job. He's creative, smart and has a wicked sense of humour that a lot of people don't get. So to them, He seems arrogant. He's also worked hard to formulate a moral code for himself and He doesn't care if someone agrees with Him or not. That lack of caring also comes across as arrogance but it's just simply that He doesn't give a rat's rear end about how people think or feel about Him. Confident? Arrogant? Self-assured? All of the above?

I've just learned to accept some things and don't always take things at first glance or initial impression. Heaven knows I could be in serious trouble if I did that! [:)]



LaTigresse -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/7/2009 8:08:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Self-assuredness is great. I find false modesty more off putting than arrogance - most of the time. Then again, I'm seriously arrogant myself, but that's only because I am the best. It's tough, being at the top of the pile *sigh*.


Wanna share your mountain Kittin? Cuz yanno, I think I am the bestest too! I can be quite arrogant. Given my mindset a couple decades ago, I am very comfortable with that.



Rainfire -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/7/2009 8:14:40 AM)

Now see, LaT, I don't find you or Kittin that arrogant, you both are incredibly intelligent, strong women who know what the hell you're talking about. You have strong views and aren't afraid of expressing them.

Or should I be seeing if I can be candidate as well for that mountain top? [:D]



Apocalypso -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/7/2009 10:13:34 AM)

I say I am more intelligent than most people because I am more intelligent than most people.

I say I am worse at sports than most people because I am worse at sports than most people.

Is that arrogance?



LaTigresse -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/7/2009 11:08:52 AM)

Well I firmly believe I've got more common sense than most people.........so thbbbbbbbtttt!

Not to mention I also believe I drive better than most people, ride a horse better than most people, apparently cook better than most people, am better with dogs than most people........annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd a whole bunch of other stuff.



kittinSol -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/7/2009 11:23:14 AM)

Well, nobody is as modest as me, so there *tongue pull*.



LaTigresse -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/7/2009 12:36:47 PM)

Now I am just laughing............good one!



Fitznicely -> RE: Arrogance? An explanation please (5/7/2009 1:37:29 PM)

On the whole, there's as many better than me as there are worse.

If it's arrogant to believe that you can balance confidence and humility, then I'm arrogant.

As to "Why?"....In my case, losing the mask and just being who I really am, finding out that people liked me for it. That gave me a nice ego boost that stuck.



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