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PeonForHer -> RE: Tell me who you are... (5/8/2009 12:26:17 PM)
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So from what you are saying... maybe it is a newer submissive or someone who hasn't had as much experience as they claim... that is getting stuck in the images of things or roles, rather than seeing each of us as a whole.
Maybe it is new subs, Lockit. Or it could be subs who aren't used to different styles of dominant language and behaviour - perhaps they've only come across 'one sort' before. That could happen if they've only met people at clubs before. At these, I've found that dominants will nearly always want to talk in an entirely vanilla way.
On CM, though, it's different. Most, if they've initiated conversation, will talk in the same friendly, vanilla style. It's rare that it'll be ultra-dommie and formal. But I've seen a lot more, recently, who'll mix protocol with chatty-vanilla. I've honestly found that the only way I can do the same back to them is to write my normal way, then go through the whole lot capitalising the appropriate words. I didn't do that at all at one time; then, later, it began to feel rude not to do it.
In short: I think that, partly, it's just possibly a problem that comes with meeting someone through CM or a similar site. One can get used to ways of behaving, then eventually assume that these are the 'normal' and 'accepted' ways of behaving. That would apply to dommes and subs equally, I'd imagine.
If I'm right, though, then the solution shouldn't be so difficult. "I want you from now on to address me as Ma'am in private - but in all other ways we talk and act as friends. Don't consider yourself collared yet". But presumably you've tried that, it hasn't worked - and in which case, pop goes my little hypothesis . . . .
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