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RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/9/2009 7:05:10 PM

EuphoriainAZ

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/25/2006
Status: offline

There are some of us who simply need physical punishment from time to time. I occasionally need to receive pain that I do not enjoy. While I don't enjoy it at the time, it fulfills certain emotional needs. Afterwards, I feel calm, peaceful, balanced, and more submissive than I am typically. I think the idea of "maintenance spankings" helps those submissives with this need to get the need met before it becomes compelling, and thus preventing them from acting out in order to try to get what they need. People in general, not just submissives, sometimes feel reticent to verbalize their needs, especially repeatedly, so maintenance spankings can be a useful tool for a submissive who needs regular corporal discipline.

~ Euphoria

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 21

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/9/2009 7:17:39 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tiinkerbell
I am going to feel like a huge idiot asking this but...what is a maintance spanking?

Allison

The only dumb question is the unasked one.

Maintenance, just what it sounds like. You do maintenance on your car to keep it in good condition, maintenance spankings are administered on a regular schedule to help keep your headspace in a good condition. Some people do this every night right before bed, or every morning. Just 5 minutes or so, just so you are reminded of your dominant's power over you.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to tiinkerbell)

Post #: 22

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/9/2009 7:39:52 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

A couple of recent threads have made me curious about punishment. A lot of the mail I get is a male submissive/slave who is saying he needs a strict dominant and punishment on a regular basis. Then I read a lot of it in journals or on profiles. Now, I know what a lot of the female submissive/slaves feel on this from the boards and yet I don’t see as much because I don’t have female submissive’s/slave’s emailing me that often.

I have read things some dominant’s have said about punishment as well but don’t recall it being something like some of the male submissive’s/slave’s I have seen.

I am wondering how many feel they need to be punished and if male submissive’s/slave’s see punishment differently or for some reason feel an emotional need for punishment that might be different than a female’s view of things. And if there is an emotional need for punishment, why that is or how it all works.

Are some confusing enjoying spankings or physical acts with punishment or is it actual punishment they seek?

To the dominant’s, how do you feel and do you like to punish your submissive? What is it that you see or how do you view those who wish or need to be punished?

Wow!

What a great question! (Questions).

GAWWWWD I could go for hours.....

I don't think this has been asked (fully) previously....

I could go on for days about the whole testosterone gig...we have it...it exists...it's real....(sue us)....and it makes us different.

Yes....we see things differently. A lot.

Tremendously.

What do you think? As women...as Dommes?

We think we love you. (We're certain of it, actually).

You can convince us of it....(honest).

We love the ritual. We love the same thing every night...we actually love the fact that you wear that black thing (leather, or otherwise)....every time (and of course, macaroni and cheese, baked potatoes, some kind of bread....).

(And toast).

Remember that time (about 7 years ago when) we discussed something you said was "over the top"....and you said...."I'LL NEVER DO THAT!!!!!!" ?

(We want you to do that).

(Fairly often, actually).

So....."that might be different than a female’s view of things"......

Uh huh.

(Just a smidge).

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 5/9/2009 7:45:35 PM >

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 23

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/9/2009 8:41:06 PM

SIRLOINSTEAK

Posts: 84
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline

DEPENDS.....and not the diaper DEPENDS....on the submissive...situation....

Take a masochist who loves pain you won't hurt her as punishment....sorry, no spankings tonite!!

"BUT MASTER, I've been a good SLAVE!!"

"You only sucked my 'royal' (tube) steak 3 times today, I expect it done 4 times!"

"WORSE: the last time you spit, as if you didn't enjoy it!! "

"YOU PURPOSEFULLY EAT FOUL STUFF TO MAKE IT TASTE HORRID!"

"NO SPANKING, WENCH." WE are going to pretend to be vanilla today as punishment!!

her reaction "GAHHH, WORSE DAY EVAH!!"

(EVIL GRIN) "YEP, and we are going to cuddle and I'm making you sleep like a 'NORMAL' couple"

her reaction "YOU cannot be serious."

none of this fake punishment nonsense, what, you have a problem with fingernails on chalkboard? Your a masochist, SORRY, you don't get that "PLEASURE!" EITHER....we are going to pretend we are "NORMAL"!!

Synopsis: TAKE A 24/7 lifestyler masochist and make them go vanilla as punishment....

PRIMARY POINT: PUNISHMENT can be insidious, and intentionally push her buttons...the more you know her, the more you can push her buttons to PUNISH her.....

"step on her feet when she is walking in front of you, um, aren't you supposed to walk behind me when she complains....." -> steping on her was the punishment....or you could whip her later also, whatever.....

Find your sub cutting herself because she has psychological issues/low self esteem/depression -> Tell her you aren't going to cut her, she isn't going to cut herself, and as punishment only strangers will cut her.....if she is good, otherwise, you will put her in a funny farm because you are legitimately concerned.....

Maybe shock treatment, being phsycailly away from you might change her behavior....and you don't have to deal with the nut bag for a bit.....rethink of less physical ways of doing it.... ;/

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 24

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/9/2009 8:52:50 PM

SIRLOINSTEAK

Posts: 84
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline

[/quote]
I am going to feel like a huge idiot asking this but...what is a maintance spanking?

Allison
[/quote]

wow, you really are blonde? ;0 Repeat these words and break it down with a dictionary: ROUTINE MAINTANCE SPANKING.....

http://www.websters-dictionary-online.com/

maybe the context of the quote of what everyone said completely might help, instead of reading just a few words here and there and "ACTING DUMB"

convince me you aren't a good actress and really are stupid is what I'm trying to say. ;0 I think your just a good actress. A female version of JACK TRIPPER from THREE's COMPANY...or the blonde....she pretended....acting....

(in reply to tiinkerbell)

Post #: 25

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/9/2009 8:54:19 PM

SIRLOINSTEAK

Posts: 84
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline

I remember why I prefer natural brunettes..... ;0

(in reply to SIRLOINSTEAK)

Post #: 26

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/9/2009 9:04:38 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

(I don't get it).

(in reply to SIRLOINSTEAK)

Post #: 27

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/9/2009 10:15:22 PM

heartcream

Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline

Punishment is an archaic word to me. Personally I have zero desire to be involved with anything to do with it. I much prefer as much distance between me and punishment as possible. I cant stand the word. I had that whole mindset that I deserved punishment until one day I saw the light, that the mindset that I deserved it, attracted it and now I do not deserve one teeny weeny iota speck of punishment ever again.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 28

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 2:47:25 AM

SIRLOINSTEAK

Posts: 84
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream

Punishment is an archaic word to me. Personally I have zero desire to be involved with anything to do with it. I much prefer as much distance between me and punishment as possible. I cant stand the word. I had that whole mindset that I deserved punishment until one day I saw the light, that the mindset that I deserved it, attracted it and now I do not deserve one teeny weeny iota speck of punishment ever again.

How you doing HEARTCREAM? Nope, you don't deserve to be punished, you need to be loved and protected....

You seem to have a few minor psychological issues and quiet and peace are your friends, sweety. Seriousy....

I hope your healing in your face (poultisi, and doing well. Couple underneath you cuasing less noise to make you feel the straign

(in reply to heartcream)

Post #: 29

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 3:24:59 AM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

Some people confuse punishment with play. Others actually just mean that they need discipline and structure. Personally punishment is very rare, but occasionally necessary. it is very very different from play and if i needed it frequently I would e in the wrong relationship. I strive to please and serve. Deserving punishment means I have somehow failed and will strive extra hard to avoid it in the future. Regular punishment would mean that I regularly failed and that doesn't sound healthy.

However, Master doesn't need a reason to beat me. He can do that whenever he feels it is appropriate or enjoyable.

I don't know if there are differences between guys and girls on this or if it is just different people and their perspectives/relationships

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 30

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 6:17:18 AM

tiinkerbell

Posts: 96
Status: offline

quote:

The only dumb question is the unasked one.

Maintenance, just what it sounds like. You do maintenance on your car to keep it in good condition, maintenance spankings are administered on a regular schedule to help keep your headspace in a good condition. Some people do this every night right before bed, or every morning. Just 5 minutes or so, just so you are reminded of your dominant's power over you.

Thank you

Allison

_____________________________

Allison

- Some People walk in the rain; others just get wet -
Roger Miller

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 31

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 6:47:32 AM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tiinkerbell
I am going to feel like a huge idiot asking this but...what is a maintance spanking?

Allison

I love love love giving maintenance spankings. Putting a boy over my knee and lovingly turning his bottom pink just so he knows somebody cares warms the cockles of my heart (and my hand.) It is usually accompanied by patter of some kind about boys doing better when they are taken in hand on a regular basis. A maintenance spanking is not done as punishment - there's a slow build-up and perhaps alternating between my hand, a hair brush and a leather paddle. When I've tired of spanking, I smoothe some lotion on the pink bottom and return him to 'duty' with some encouraging words.

There are all sorts of discussions about how women were typically the disciplinary force in a boy's life when he was young. It was 'normal' to be turned over the knee of a female relative. When the spanking was over, the boy was hugged and reassured and sent on his way. They remember that connection as very reassuring. I'm always hearing 'we men are really little boys that have never grown up - we LIKE to be spanked!."

If you'd like to know more: http://spankedhubby.blogspot.com/

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to tiinkerbell)

Post #: 32

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 7:23:13 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

How do I see physical punishment?

It's funny...I am a masochist...I look for pain, I instigate pain, I crave pain, I thrive on pain...yet, punishment...no thank you. Punishment hurts

in ways that I don't want to hurt.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 33

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 7:46:00 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

It would make me extremely sad and upset if I did something where I needed to be punished. My ultimate goal is to keep him as happy as I can.

_____________________________

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 34

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 9:10:32 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EuphoriainAZ

People in general, not just submissives, sometimes feel reticent to verbalize their needs, especially repeatedly.

~ Euphoria

Especially submissives. If I ask him for something and he doesn't give it, I'm not likely to repeat the request. Instead I just interpret it as a no, whereas I should ask for further clarification. Because sometimes I haven't expressed the need clearly enough, and sometimes what he means is not now instead of not ever. Plus being human, he will forget that I asked for something 3 months earlier.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to EuphoriainAZ)

Post #: 35

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 9:15:14 AM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

We do not have a punishment dynamic in our relationship or maybe it is better said that we don't have a strict rules based relationship where a punishment dynamic might be more prevalent. A few times over the years she has stepped out of line and there was some punishment administered and each time I tried to make sure it was very uncomfortable for her. That's one thing I do feel about punishment - it should be punishing and it should be something that the submissive party does not enjoy.

One thing that has always struck me peculiar about punishment is the number of dominants who try to find reason to perform it and the number of submissives who try to intentionally give reason to be punished. That has always seemed very upside down to me. I would think that most dominants would rather have a submissive that they did not have to punish on a regular basis and that most submissives would strive to actually never be punished as it would imply that they have failed in some measure.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 36

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 9:45:31 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

Punishment is one of my ‘hot button’ topics because I can’t be objective about it---but I will try (Promise!!)

If someone says they ‘need punishment on a regular basis’ (and mean it literally, not as pain play) I wonder if they believe they need to be beaten into submission. Are they not able to submit unless they are forced to? Does this mean they have unresolved guilt feelings about who- knows- what and expect the dominant to help them atone for the past? Do they realize that requiring constant punishment may make the dominant feel it is not worth the effort?

Many male dominants mention punishment in their profile. What I don’t understand is the presumption that the need for punishment will be a ‘given’.
Is a submissive who strives to do their best, is obedient and able to abide by what has been agreed to such a rarity? It is realistic to assume we all are going to make mistakes; but why can’t people imagine that there are many other means to correct errors?

I can, with some effort, understand the fact that some do have punishment as part of their dynamic. However, at least on-line and here in the forums, there are so many threads about punishment where there is a sense of gleeful anticipation about the “best” way to punish. I would think a dominant would feel more sad than happy that it has come to that point.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 37

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 11:51:47 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

Punishment is one of my ‘hot button’ topics because I can’t be objective about it---but I will try (Promise!!)

If someone says they ‘need punishment on a regular basis’ (and mean it literally, not as pain play) I wonder if they believe they need to be beaten into submission. Are they not able to submit unless they are forced to? Does this mean they have unresolved guilt feelings about who- knows- what and expect the dominant to help them atone for the past? Do they realize that requiring constant punishment may make the dominant feel it is not worth the effort?

Many male dominants mention punishment in their profile. What I don’t understand is the presumption that the need for punishment will be a ‘given’.
Is a submissive who strives to do their best, is obedient and able to abide by what has been agreed to such a rarity? It is realistic to assume we all are going to make mistakes; but why can’t people imagine that there are many other means to correct errors?

I can, with some effort, understand the fact that some do have punishment as part of their dynamic. However, at least on-line and here in the forums, there are so many threads about punishment where there is a sense of gleeful anticipation about the “best” way to punish. I would think a dominant would feel more sad than happy that it has come to that point.

I have often seen a submissive seem to want to be overtaken, forced and punished as well. In many I think it all goes hand in hand. I tend to stay away from anything like this. It has me running for the door! lol I don't know that everyone who claims to need punishment feels the other things, but I know many I have talked to express the same things.

While I can see a bit of punishment, I see it more as a corrective measure and more of an emotional correction of talking to, guiding in the direction I want to take and someone trying to please me in the situation rather than be punished. I am far more comfortable going this route... but I can't say that I would never wish to punish in other ways! lol I just don't believe I ever would.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 38

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 12:22:16 PM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

This thing about maintenance spanking/punishment has me confused....are some of you really doing this everyday as sort of a ritual to keep your dynamic in the right gear so to speak? Do you honestly feel like doing this every day? Does it not become a bit meaningless after a while... something like having to brush your teeth ...sort of like well come on then lets get that outta the way?
I'm all for a good spanking, but if it would be something i could set my watch by i don't think i would be as interested somehow...maybe the first week or so would be hot but then i would be inclined to yawn i think.
i'm seriously curious

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 39

RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 12:59:41 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

but I can't say that I would never wish to punish in other ways! lol I just don't believe I ever would.

It is the rare person who has never wanted to mete out some sort of physical punishment; but feeling that you would like to is much different than doing it. I once asked S. for permission to punch his lights out after a particularly difficult interaction with him. He denied the request of course! But he was aware that my emotions were running pretty high and he was willing to help me work through it.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 40

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