RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it?

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RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 3:06:26 PM

MsFlutter

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Nothing I do is done without seeing a reason behind it and my submissive partner seeing it and wanting it too. With someone who loves spanking... I love giving them. For someone who doesn't, I don't want to give them. I feed off of my submissive and his responses. If he is just doing something for me... in the area of play... I don't want it as it doesn't feed me. For me, it takes two to tango and dancing alone just doesn't get me off. (so to speak)

Punishment is just not something I like.

what she said !!

::this is a recording::

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RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 3:33:48 PM

Andalusite

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I think it's mostly a semantics thing - they're calling it "punishment' but mean roleplay fun or funishment.

In my last relationship, my Dom physically punished me twice. It put me in a weird headspace, about both him and about pain play, in a way that we felt was detrimental to the relationship.

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RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 4:21:09 PM

Slaveoffer

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I think the gender difference is really about basic dfferences which points to women reacting/seeking more to emotions, and men being more physical. In BDSM this is reflected like in society elsewhere. Sports have a more distinctive fan of men, while books are more in line with female expression.
I think subs/slaves also see punishment as attention which we all want. Since a slave relationship is about serving, punishement (and bdsm play) is a situaion where these roles are reversed. The sub is actually the one receiving in these situations.
Of course in this discussion talking about punishments is perceived differently, and real punishment is per definition not something one seeks.
In addition (speaking for myself) the pain is the reality test of a mistress/slave relationship, felt instantly and cannot be evaded by the thought.
(there re so many things to comment and so many interesting views, so this is really a short reference)
slaveoffer

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RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 5:40:22 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
I am wondering how many feel they need to be punished

Carol doesn't feel any need whatsoever to be punished. She'd rather just obey and keep things simple.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Are some confusing enjoying spankings or physical acts with punishment or is it actual punishment they seek?

Of course i can only speculate on what "some" might or might not do. But yeah, that's my impression that some people get mixed up between funishment and punishment. But I also know that there is some percentage of female subs that perceive a cathartic response to punishment and so value it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
To the dominant’s, how do you feel and do you like to punish your submissive?

No, I do not enjoy punishing the woman I love. In general, I consider Carol my slave and my expectation for that is pretty clear... absolute obedience. My thought is that if I need to punish her, then she is clearly not my slave since she is not obeying me. I have no interest in the whole, disobey, get punished, obey loop. To me, that seems like a lot of fooling around. I have only one 'punishment' for Carol and I don't really see it as a punishment. If she disobeys, the collar comes off since she's not my slave so why wear it? Then, I suppose, we'd have to talk about whether she wanted to be my sub or go back to simply being my vanilla wife or something else entirely.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
What is it that you see or how do you view those who wish or need to be punished?

I have no opinion of this practice in general although I strongly suspect that it is seriously mis-used as a training tool. In specific, I'd need to look at the actual couple and see if it was a good thing for them or not.

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RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 7:54:26 PM

LadyPact

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On the concept of maintenance.....

I don't see a thing wrong with this. For those who enjoy physical pain, either giving or receiving, it's a way to let the body's own chemistry do it's work. Keeping the endorphins flowing helps to keep us balanced. It's the same as regular exercise, sex, and even chocolate for women. Even if it's just for a few minutes, there's a lot of benefit.

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RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/10/2009 8:58:01 PM

KoolnSassy

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quote:

To the dominant’s, how do you feel and do you like to punish your submissive? What is it that you see or how do you view those who wish or need to be punished? - Lockit

Punishment is to me exactly what it indicates. It's not correction, discipline, training or fun. I wouldn't use it to help a sub learn something they're having difficulty with. The purpose of punishment is to get my point across quite clearly and in an unforgetable manner. I like to choose things I know very well the sub hates as punishment - that way there is no confusion between play and punishment. When I give out a punishment I want him to remember it as something very unenjoyable and also the reason he's received it. It's also something that would come about because I was certain his behavior or attitude was intentional or repeated after a few warnings.

< Message edited by KoolnSassy -- 5/10/2009 8:59:11 PM >

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RE: Physical punishment… how do you see it? - 5/11/2009 8:59:35 AM

ranja

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If someone is out of line and has been repeatedly warned but is not reponding to reason satisfactory and i am the one in charge then i might decide necesary punishment is in order.
I do not like this situation at all, but i do believe it is important to be a good parent.

As a wife to a Dominant Husband; we both know how to punish eachother by ignoring eachother or otherwise annoying behaviour...we are both guilty of this at times and again when it happens i do not like it at all and hope to find a solution to make things better quickly. (sometimes a smack on my ass clears the air and is the solution to the punishment of my own nagging about whatever anoying thing He did)

As a lover, i take His punishment with love, corporal or otherwise but it is play to me, to us, fore play, pain play, role play even what i now understand to be maintenance would fall under play in my book.

edit to add:
i had to refrase this message to get it posted

< Message edited by ranja -- 5/11/2009 9:11:51 AM >

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