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ORIGINAL: willing2serve
Im justifying because i do not want to be selfish. It "aint" all about me!

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I know you aren't complaining, but trying to shove it away or justify things won't really lead to a satisfying solution either.

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I'm sooooooooooooooo disappointed. When I saw the thread title, I thought this was going to be about Dusty!

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However, we get into relationship with certain expectations, with certain agreements and priorities. If someone seriously changes those expectations and agreements in the middle of things- it's not selfish or bad to say "Wait, what's going on? I might not work optimally here."

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Don't feel guilty abut expressing to your Master...sharing allows him to deal with it as your Master...much better option that bottling it up or denying what your feeling by pretending its not happening.

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ORIGINAL: willing2serve
. I do however struggle with the fact when i do share with my Sir that i miss the play and then He does incorporate the play more. Then i feel somewhat guilty that i asked for things for my pleasure...Self-imposed guilt...nothing from my Sir.

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ORIGINAL: willing2serve

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Why are you trying to justify it?

Why has his desires for play changed dramatically from what they were?

What are his feelings about these changes?

What are his goals and desires for the future in regards to play?

Im justifying because i do not want to be selfish. It "aint" all about me!

I do not think his desires have changed dramatically. In our case, our lives are very busy...and I think "time" is the enemy of our play, not the desires as much. However, I will note...my desire for play is probably greater, but he does find enjoyment in it.

He recognizes that we have played less and there's always tomorrow syndrome. Which I agree he owns my tomorrow's. I am His present and future.

He has some very elaborate scenes planned in the next couple of months at a dungeon we love to go to...However, Im simple...it doesnt take an elaborate scene to thrill me...one touch of his hand, holding a shiny knife works for me..or just something unexpected.....smile.

Someone mentioned play is not life. This is so very true. I have had my life centered around play before and I do not want it to go back to that extent. Master knows this...This may be a reason for the dust a bit. There is more to M/s than the play and I am learning those wonderful things as well.

The thread was started out of curiosity, again, as I say not complaining...Complaints are handled in the Master department on bended knee...NOT in a forum.

I do want to thank everyone for the wonderful intellectual responses.

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You probably have done everything you normally would think to be of service and they may have become routine. But there is always something not considered. You may try to find something new to offer up to your master. He may then grant you what you wish with a renewed passion. Here's another idea, and again I don't know you guys so I can't say it will work for you so just consider it an example. I notice that your profile says that you are bi curious. You may consider actively searching for another lady who can be sub to your master and dom to you.

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It's like when you go to dinner with someone who is not very well off financially, and they want to pay the check, because it gives them pleasure to pay for your dinner. Is it more important to put your foot down and pay the check yourself because they "can't afford it"? That way, YOUR conscience is clear...

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It doesn't sound like you are worried about the relationship ending. So let me tell you I think that you are likely possessed of all the charms necassary to set your master's blood a boil

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The problem with that, however, is that we tend to endow our Master's with abilities that even they can't possibly have -- that of being a mind reader

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ORIGINAL: willing2serve

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It's like when you go to dinner with someone who is not very well off financially, and they want to pay the check, because it gives them pleasure to pay for your dinner. Is it more important to put your foot down and pay the check yourself because they "can't afford it"? That way, YOUR conscience is clear...

I do understand exactly what you are saying...This is a lesson Master had to teach me...Im the one that wanted my conscience clear...so originally, I wouldnt let the person pay for the meal if i thought they couldnt afford it.....Master teaches me, do not ruin someone elses blessing...this took me awhile to understand...

You are correct...me thinking I am selfish is of my own doing...Master truly wants a happy slave. It is the fact that life interferes with play and not with our desires. We constantly keep it on the forefront of our thoughts and coversations....I guess since the dust has been collecting, this is a long-term foreplay...LOL.....

But on the play scale, I perhaps tip it more in my direction and the intimacy, affection and chillaxing tips more towards him....Doesnt mean we both dont enjoy it ALL.

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Good, I'm glad you understood and took what I said in the spirit in which it was intended. I was afraid I was sounding negative and critical.

You know what? Every relationship hits "bumps" in the road now and then and real life sneaks in. It sounds like you have something really good and special, and I really don't think you have anything to seriously worry about!

BTW, I love the way you said he taught you...."do not ruin someone else's blessing". That is such a beautiful, and true (IMHO) way to put it!

Best to you!

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So we, have discussed this at great length and there is nothing I cannot discuss at Master's feet. I do however struggle with the fact when i do share with my Sir that i miss the play and then He does incorporate the play more. Then i feel somewhat guilty that i asked for things for my pleasure...Self-imposed guilt...nothing from my Sir.

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This was a struggle for me as well. Himself feels this way.. he 'requires' that I give him my feelings and thoughts. Then he 'chooses' whether or not to act on what I've been feeling or thinking. The control remains with him. If there is something which I would like, it's required that I ask for it and at no time am I ever to believe that Himself is a mind reader. Failing to ask for something I want is akin to keeping my power and controlling the relationship because then the choice is mine instead of his. Once I wrapped my brains around that truth for us, things became easier and whether it was in the area of play or not, didn't matter. That I ask, communicate what I am thinking and feeling does matter.

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ORIGINAL: amayos

Your relationship as it is unfolding sounds wonderful. The toy bag is often just a toy bag. Not using the instruments of BDSM does not cheapen or degrade the sincerity of worship or service.

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

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So we, have discussed this at great length and there is nothing I cannot discuss at Master's feet. I do however struggle with the fact when i do share with my Sir that i miss the play and then He does incorporate the play more. Then i feel somewhat guilty that i asked for things for my pleasure...Self-imposed guilt...nothing from my Sir.

This was a struggle for me as well. Himself feels this way.. he 'requires' that I give him my feelings and thoughts. Then he 'chooses' whether or not to act on what I've been feeling or thinking. The control remains with him. If there is something which I would like, it's required that I ask for it and at no time am I ever to believe that Himself is a mind reader. Failing to ask for something I want is akin to keeping my power and controlling the relationship because then the choice is mine instead of his. Once I wrapped my brains around that truth for us, things became easier and whether it was in the area of play or not, didn't matter. That I ask, communicate what I am thinking and feeling does matter.

Celeste