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ShaktiSama -> RE: "Vanilla side"...what?...rant (5/19/2009 10:08:18 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slavekal
Thank you, Underground. For whatever reason, some people won't get off the idea that I was saying a domme should pander of perform for slave to provide service.
That's because it is what you are saying, from their point of view, kal. The reason that communication is impossible is not because they won't listen; it's because you won't listen, and no attempt is made to understand.
The problem is not just people "not understanding plain English". The problem is that you and other men like you are insisting on a relationship paradigm that simply does not and cannot work for all dominant women. The mode of power that your Mistress exercises is the Courtesan Model. I have read your blog and posts quite thoroughly, and I understand that you love your Mistress deeply and that she is Mistress Right, so far as you are concerned. She is capable of the sort of feminine power that has always been your dearest dream and your only conception of power for women.
And believe me--I get it. I am familiar with the role. The Courtesan is a woman of seductive beauty. She exercises power solely through her body and the promise of access to it--the pleasure of seeing a glimpse of her shapely parts, of smelling her, tasting and touching her, and above all the pleasure of pleasing her. All sensual women, including submissive women, can have a touch of the Courtesan to them, but a woman like your Mistress makes it into the throne by which she rules her world and the men in it.
Fine and dandy, needless to say. I have no beef with dommes of this type and I am aware that they can live happy and fulfilling lives. But it is not the life for me. From my point of view, a Courtesan is always a hostage to the whims of men. Try to wrap your head around this: her way, and by extension your way, is not the only way.
There are other roles and other models for feminine power and authority. I would agree with you happily if you were to say that men in our society are very, very well-trained to respond to the Courtesan. I can even tell you why: it's because ultimately, the real power of the relationship with a Courtesan always lies in their own hands. A Courtesan is never more powerful than a man's lust for her. Her only independence lies in her ability to find another man or men to seduce, if one stops wanting her. If men someday begin to find her unattractive, if she loses her ability to perform sexually to their satisfaction, she is completely impotent. There is nothing left. Like the "slaves" you were describing in your posts, they wander off to find another woman who puts on a better show. They feel nothing for her personally; she has power and worth only when she puts on a show.
I am not satisfied with this arrangement. Many other dominant women are not satisfied with it either. It could be because our sexuality simply doesn't flow on tap as readily as a natural Courtesan's does. Personally, I could never in a million years sustain the sort of sexual antics that seem to come naturally to your Mistress, judging by your posts and blog. I would find them exhausting, draining, and a colossal waste of my time and energy.
For some submissives, Sex is Power; they respond to the sexual attractiveness of their partner, and that is what inspires their submission. This is a common mode for male submissives, although I have seen it in women as well. However, there is another type of submissive: for these, Power is Sexiness. They respond to other aspects of personal power by finding someone sexually attractive because of them--physical strength, charisma, intelligence, wisdom, patience, wit, money etc. turn them on, make them see beauty in their dominant, and make them want to submit. This mode is more common in women, but it is also sometimes seen in men, and it is the type of submission that I tend to connect with much better.
A woman like your Mistress can do well with submissives of the former type; she has the sexual energy to spare. I do not. I will never have the time, the energy or the inclination to prance around in high heels or "domme it up" in order to get housework done. Quite honestly, I have better things to do, and the submissives who are attracted to a woman like me know that and love me for it.
I am not knocking you or your Mistress whatsoever. But you will incur my hostility if you continue to insist that your way is the only way, and that all women are obligated to "put out" in Courtesan mode in order to inspire submission. It is simply not true.
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