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What to do? - 5/11/2009 12:16:13 PM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		I am in a quandry about an issue that has been bothering me.  My Lady requires that I write her a story every week, and it has to be at least 5 pages long.  The subject is of my choosing, but has to be about her.  Of course it contains female dominance and male submission.  My problem is I get very little response from her.  If it is a good story she may say that was a good story, or that was one of the better ones you have written.  If it is not a good story, then she may say, it was ok or not one of your better ones. 
She never discusses them with me, never asks where I came up with the idea, how did it make me feel writing it, etc.  Nothing, she reads it, then puts it away.  I have never seen her read one a second time. 
Am I wrong to want more of a response?  It takes a long time to write a 5 page story that is different every week.  I don't mind doing it, but I would like to know how she feels.
Or, am I just out of line?
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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 12:27:33 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		As someone who plays with writing, I must say that in this and most things if life, if you are putting a part of yourself into something, you will need feedback or a pay off in a sense.  It is hard to get the creative juices flowing and keep them flowing at times in life and without anything to encourage, inspire or motivate you... even pleasing someone is not always enough... you dry up.  You can also feel insecure about your writing and kind of get lost in outfield if there is little response to your work and a part of yourself.  As much as I may enjoy doing something and write for myself, when I share my work with someone... especially more than once or twice... I want some response that feeds me in a sense.  That or cash!

I have asked people to write things because I wanted a view into them in a way.  I would say enough to keep things where they needed to be, but might be waiting on another assignment before I had the talk with them.

You might talk to your dominant and let her know how you feel, whatever that is.

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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 12:34:39 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		that would depend if your sole reason for doing this is merely to please her, or are you getting something out of the exercise as well? i will present you with a few options.

you can discuss your feelings with her and seek her input, with the understanding that she may consider to respond as she has all along, feeling that is her feedback. if writing is you forte or a skill you seek to expand, you may wish to fellowship with other writers and share your pieces with them. i'd suggest you obtain her support beforehand. in this vain you're communicating with others that share the same passion as you do and will probably receive helpful feedback that might encourage and improve your works.

there is the third option and that is acceptance. this is very hard and i've experienced this myself recently. however, i finally came to the realization that i appreciated writing and wanted to do so, regardless if my words were never read by another. in this way i merely shifted the focus from them to me. that strategy worked for me, but again i love to write. if the same doesn't hold true for you, you may wish to take solace in the fact that you are being obedient and your compliance pleases her. thereby allowing that fact alone to provide the satisfaction you seek, without added praise or acknowledgment. best of luck.

porcelaine


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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 12:49:24 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think a good way to approach it would be the polite phrase "Mistress, as I want to please you with my stories, would you mind telling me what you thought about the last one? Which parts did you like and what do you think needs improving?" This way you would be respectfully ask for feedback.

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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 12:51:49 PM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		Five pages? wow - that's a lot of writing. I'd REALLY be looking for feedback, dinner, a gold star.. SOMEthing!

I write constantly.  While I protect each finished product like a child I've given birth to, feedback is still important.
 
Without knowing the circumstances of the two people involved, my instinctive reaction was "sounds more like busywork." (the grown-up version of 'draw me a picture').
 


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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 12:53:46 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		All of the above is good, but there is something else that I would like you to consider.  It's something that I call the mental filing cabinet.

There will often be times that clip will write things that I store away for later use.  It could be a thought or an idea that he has that I don't make a lot of comment about when it comes up.  Rather, I put the little idea away in My brain for when I want to pull on something that I know he has an interest in.  A certain type of scene or some form of play that I know excites him.  You may not be receiving a ton of feedback now, but there might be a great deal of payoff later down the road.

Of course, I can't promise you this is the case with your Lady.  I just know how I operate.


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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 1:21:16 PM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks Ladies for your comments.  I guess I get something out of doing the writing, but it takes a long time to compose a 5 page story, make sure it makes sense, check it for stupid stuff and do several re-writes.  All in all I spend probably about 8 hours doing it...I am not real fast when it comes to typing...my brain is a lot faster than my fingers.  LOL...however, I have noticed that either my fingers are catching up or my brain is slowing down...age has a way of making everything stay in balance!
Thanks again

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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 1:35:02 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Get Dragon Naturally Speaking, 9 or 10. It comes with headphones that have a mic attached. You speak normally, and it writes your words on the computer. Its very fast. Everything appears on the screen almost as fast as you can say it. You can write emails, documents, anything you want to do on the computer with it. Its a godsend for people who can't type, for whatever reason.

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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 4:41:13 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Steponme, ( Thats not an offer btw lol )  I was involved with someone who liked me writing stories. The question of feedback was important to me. I would often keep on asking "Have You read it, what did You think ect "

Finally she told me two things, firstly she only oredered me to write it, she didnt say she would read it, but wanted to see if I followed orders. Secondly she told me that since my story was basically my inner thoughts, it told her much about my likes and dislikes.

So, even if you dont get much feedback, dont think there isnt input going on at some level.

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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 5:51:04 PM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline 		...no I don't think you are wrong or out of line.  You should let her know respectfully how you feel about your writing and know that she is the object of such writing and you want to know if she is pleased beyond those simple responses.




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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 8:09:50 PM   
ladylexington


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		I ask subs to keep a journal - primarily to give them an outlet for their feelings. Especially for less experienced submissives, the journal is part of their journey, a record of their experiences. And, while I reserve the right to look at the journal whenever I choose, I seldom comment on the topics unless something sparks my interest or a piece of writing highlights an issue that should be addressed.

Maybe she perceives the exercise differently than you do?

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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 9:27:50 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		I understand coming on to these boards to get legitimate feedback on difficult topics, but seriously?

boo hoo hoo, mistress makes me write, boo hoo hoo, she doesn't tell me what she thinks about my writing, boo hoo hoo, what should i do? sniffle

Why don't you ask her?

This is a pet peeve of mine on this board. Every other thread involves what people should do in situations that are between them and another person, yet rarely is the other person mentioned as a possible solution. in 90% of these questions the answer starts with them.

You want the person's feedback on the stories? Ask them.

It doesn't matter whether people on this board think you're wrong or right for wanting something more out of her feedback because guess what? We don't live in your shoes nor do we write these stories.

If you can't ask your mistress what she did or did not like in a particular story or whether she has more feedback or thoughts on your writing, then you have much bigger issues in your relationship than a lack of feedback.




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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 9:33:48 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		Write a story about a sub who writes stories for his mistress and how this mistress acknowledges what he writes and how it inspires him and blah blah blah.  I think it would be really cute, and a very creative way to communicate this issue to her.

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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 9:47:30 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I agree with marie2, that's a great idea

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RE: What to do? - 5/11/2009 9:55:45 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have a different take on the idea of writing about the response to his writing.  I assigned writing projects a number of times.  With one, he was topping or manipulating with his journal.  He was using his journal to say things that should have been said directly to me and his manner was very manipulative.  I didn't ask for what he was writing... it wasn't what I asked for at all and I was very unhappy with him.  He was directing in many things... hinting... trying to butter me up... ukkk!

I would want what I asked for and would want my submissive to talk directly with me on the other matter.

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RE: What to do? - 5/12/2009 2:25:48 AM   
ChampagneMojito


Posts: 77
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

Write a story about a sub who writes stories for his mistress and how this mistress acknowledges what he writes and how it inspires him and blah blah blah.  I think it would be really cute, and a very creative way to communicate this issue to her.


I think ^ is a lovely idea   though you could also consider approaching it from the point of view of a submissive who longs for further feedback, adores his Mistress, wants to please her further, etc.

I'd also agree with others who say it's all about your own relationship dynamic, really. 

Personally, I think a weekly 5 page story that's taking you 8 hours to write is a BIG ask, and think you'd be fully justified in requesting additional feedback, but that's just me.  Unless it was something that was giving me an ENORMOUS level of pleasure, I wouldn't ask my boy to do that on a weekly basis, but again, that's just me. 

It could be a task that she has set you without fully understanding how long it takes you to complete, and may have come to take somewhat for granted.  Either way, it's worth a conversation.  Actually, I'm kind of surprised you haven't brought it up with her already.  Are you nervous of how she might react?

E x

< Message edited by ChampagneMojito -- 5/12/2009 2:27:54 AM >

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RE: What to do? - 5/12/2009 6:04:10 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Wow!   That is a lot of writing, so I admire anyone who is that creative and can do 5 pages/week, and writing is not what he/she does for work...   I wonder if she's trying to put a book together.    I had a boy who would send me a story/week, but it was 2 pages long, and in retrospect, it was a great view into his soul.

While I understand your desire for feedback, you can only get it, if once you discuss this with her (which I suggest you do), and once she hopefully agrees that you're being such a good boy, she would reward you with more of a response.
Good luck,    M


< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 5/12/2009 6:07:17 AM >

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RE: What to do? - 5/12/2009 6:11:22 AM   
subangi


Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		Since your story has to be about you and her, why dont you write your feelings down about this subject along with suggestions on what would encourage and give you incentive? 

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RE: What to do? - 5/12/2009 10:58:22 AM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

I agree with marie2, that's a great idea


Sorry, passive aggressiveness is never a great idea.


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RE: What to do? - 5/14/2009 8:15:18 AM   
subangi


Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

I agree with marie2, that's a great idea


Sorry, passive aggressiveness is never a great idea.

I am not asking this to be rude at all.  I was just wondering how you say that is passive aggressive behavior.  Isnt passive aggressive behavior doing something in a manipulative or damaging fashion to get what you want?  I would think he obviously has difficulty communicating feelings on this, and if writing a story is about to be about them,  then, in essence it might have a cathartic effect on him and also shed light to his thoughts and feelings about the task to his Domme.  Is that so wrong?   

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