RE: For fakes sake (a rant)

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 10:00:08 PM

ZenDragoness

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Very well put, for me the fakesearch is a obsession in and off ittself.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 10:03:19 PM

ZenDragoness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

I guess we all have feelings and opinions on what is good bad, wrong, right, healthy, unhealthy etc. And I don't think we should make an effort to NOT express those opinions.

But I think what you're talking about comes from something else....I think that people sometimes go through stages in their lives and relationships where deep down underneath the outward display of pomp what they really feel is unsure...unsure of their value, unsure about their place in bdsm, unsure of what bdsm is to them, unsure whether or not it's real or an illusion etc etc. And I think in an effort to make ourselves feel more secure in our choices and beliefs about all this stuff, we need to tear any and all opposing views down, so that they don't begin to threaten our own "reality".

Oh marie, that is so very well put. The core security and insecurity and the need to feel safe.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 10:03:39 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ZenDragoness

Try to learn to screen for and by yourself.

Collarme is not your father and mother, they do not have to install a "better screening system".

I believe I'm fairly good at screening for myself. Nor did I say I expected CM to implement any sort of system other than the one it has. I said "I wish" and gave an example of a system I have seen work and why I believe it is more effective.

If you have nothing constructive to add, you have permission to refrain from reading my posts. There's a wonderful little thing called "hide" at the bottom of my avatar. I suggest you learn to use it.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 10:04:11 PM

MsBlkRoots

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I don't even worry about that fake stuff. Scorned people usually are the one's yelling "fake"...
A sissy maid called me fake after I told him I wasn't interested in him after he had failed to show for his initial "appointments"...3 strike ur I told him (actually it is 2 strikes). I wondered who was the real "fake"...

Life goes on...

< Message edited by MsBlkRoots -- 5/12/2009 10:05:42 PM >

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 10:06:32 PM

ZenDragoness

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And i opposite to you do not wish for such system. I wish that people take responsibility for themselves and learn to screen by themself. I wish that young children would learn to read maps and not to use a navigation system.

And i wish not to stop reading your posts from hell.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 10:13:48 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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I wish that all site admins would take a proactive role in ensuring the quality of said site. I certainly do with the forum I run.
I wish that people did not make erroneous assumptions about whether or not another person is responsible for him or herself based on a suggestion for a more effective system. After all, if no one suggested more effective systems, we'd still be driving covered wagons.
And I wish that people who have nothing constructive to say would learn to say nothing.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/12/2009 11:34:29 PM

sweetsub1957

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~Fast Reply~
i guess all i wish is that P/people would be decently respectful when sending intro letters to me. i don't get near so uptight about all this real vs fake stuff as i do about disrespect and lack of common decency. But people are people and nothing any of U/us do will change anything T/they do about anything. Lack of good manners is annoying as hell, but any amount of crabbing in the world isn't going to change that. ~smile~

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 12:51:14 AM

azjojoba

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Tineye is very cool. You are right though, nothing is foolproof.

I thought your info was very useful. I didn't know why so many of these spams ask you to go to a messenger. It all makes sense now. If you post on craigslist these types of emails are getting to really clog things up.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 1:09:59 AM

EmelineRose

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Well, in my experience a lot of people interacting online (not just in BDSM but it's just as prevalent here) ARE misrepresenting themselves deliberately. That's what I call a fake, the man who is pretending he is a woman, the woman who is pretending she is a man, the 55 year old married man claiming he is 29 and unattached and so on and so on....It gets pretty tedious. Personally I assume they are those kinds of fakes until convinced otherwise, and some are fairly easy to spot. I think it's just par for the course.....Let the buyer beware.

It's just important to remember there are genuine people on here too and focus on them.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 1:35:27 AM

Fitznicely

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Mileage varies. You have the obvious fakes - scammers, trolls, etc...then there are a whole crowd who just don't match up to an individual's standards. These individuals then call "fake"...you get it everywhere.

I see it as just part of the experience of coming to the site. If you don't like it...Google is your friend and have a nice life.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 1:39:13 AM

NormalOutside

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There's no such thing as a fake person. I think people tend to call others "fake" if they're different and incompatible. It makes people feel better about themselves.
"He wasn't real anyway, I'm glad I didn't end up meeting him!"
Yeah... because there's such thing as a person that isn't real. If you're talking to pretend people, see a psychiatrist ;)

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 1:43:29 AM

azjojoba

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

There's no such thing as a fake person.

That's a very naive statement to make in the internet age.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 2:07:37 AM

CollaredLisa

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I agree ^^
Also getting emails telling you you are a fake and/or not as old as you say you are are annoying, regardless if they are true or not.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 2:33:18 AM

Goddess2002

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

Mileage varies. You have the obvious fakes - scammers, trolls, etc...then there are a whole crowd who just don't match up to an individual's standards. These individuals then call "fake"...you get it everywhere.

I see it as just part of the experience of coming to the site. If you don't like it...Google is your friend and have a nice life.

Exactly...every discussion board I have ever ventured onto has its share of trolls, scammers, and just plain disgruntled folks...it unfortunately goes with the internet territory. I simply block and move on. Life is too precious to waste by focusing on the negative.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 2:37:40 AM

darklight17

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The whole fake battle reminds me of when I was 12...and you'd buy a new shirt that someone else had already- BAM! You are now a poser. It's ridiculous really.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 3:03:37 AM

ranja

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I think some people assume too much...they assume to know what someone is like or what everybody should be doing...some people assume other people are real or honest or fake
some people jump to conclusions and then think they know the truth
and i believe some people are just plain rude or even fake because they can be from behind their computer keyboard...
I have not encountered a fake person here yet, maybe because i am not jaded yet? When i do i hope they would tell me how they enjoyed their trip afterwards...i have had contact here with people i did not get on with so we stopped the correspondence...
And on the boards...well that's just free for all eh?
deep breath chin up

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 3:15:36 AM

WarKirby

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"Hi. I'm a beautiful woman looking for a master, but I live in nigeria. Won't you please pay my travel fares so that I can come over and serve you for the rest of my life."

If you're not sure that these people are fake, go send them money and see what happens

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 4:04:06 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmelineRose

Well, in my experience a lot of people interacting online (not just in BDSM but it's just as prevalent here) ARE misrepresenting themselves deliberately. That's what I call a fake, the man who is pretending he is a woman, the woman who is pretending she is a man, the 55 year old married man claiming he is 29 and unattached and so on and so on....It gets pretty tedious. Personally I assume they are those kinds of fakes until convinced otherwise, and some are fairly easy to spot. I think it's just par for the course.....Let the buyer beware.

It's just important to remember there are genuine people on here too and focus on them.

Like you I think we should take most things with a pinch of salt.

I mean what is fake? Most people would state that its the money grabbing scammers, the men that pretend to be women, the women and men that pretend to be much younger and put up false pictures and so on. Plenty of them about and some are blazingly obvious whilst others are not obvious at all.

What about the Dominant that portrays himself to of been 'Old Guard' and starts bitching about how things of changed for the worst, when in actual fact I remember this person coming on to the scene as a very bemused newbie just a couple of years ago. That doesn't annoy me so much as just has me shaking my head. Some people learn the basics and become experts and thats all good and well if it pulls them an impressed sub but when they start to scoff at other people then it just gets hysterical.

Or the Dominant that really has been around forever and really has been part of the 'Old Guard' and has had a hundred subs slip through his fingers because he still doesn't, after all these years, understand what dominance is and never will and yet he keeps pulling those subs because of his vast experience?

Any one of us could be accused as being a fake. Any one of us could send a whisper around this community that someone is fake.
A faker will more than likely throw the word round a lot because its a great way of protecting his own image.

Stella I know you go out on the scene and I know this online stuff is only a small part of who you are, so why does it bother you?

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 4:26:56 AM

sblady

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It doesn't bother me when I read about all the fakes. When I see "fakes" in profiles or in the forum, I assume the person may have a problem defining rejection and automatically claim people are fake.

Now of course, we have the scammers who are obviously fake. Hmm...well, they're probably real people, however, their intentions are fake.

I've been called fake more than once when I refused to continue talking to people who I felt wasn't a good match. Am I a fake? I suppose only my Sir and the other people I've met via CM can vouch for me.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 4:34:09 AM

oceanwinds

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Thank you for this post, though really not sure if it will get through the minds of people. Some will focus on the positive while others must focus on their own lacks by pointing fingers.

blessings
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