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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 4:36:06 AM   
lally2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

There's no such thing as a fake person. I think people tend to call others "fake" if they're different and incompatible. It makes people feel better about themselves.
"He wasn't real anyway, I'm glad I didn't end up meeting him!"
Yeah... because there's such thing as a person that isn't real. If you're talking to pretend people, see a psychiatrist ;)



first highlight  :  actually there is, there was a post up quite recently of a relative newbie asking if it was ok for a D she'd never met to send her to another D for training before meeting the D she'd never met. i hope you followed that, not sure i did.

screening and hiding and all the other stuff is all well and good when youve got the hang of it all, but when youre new and finding youre feet, situations as above, though while they scream out 'take a reality check' for some odd reason, lots of people, myself included for a time, get horribly confused over what is acceptable protocol and what is just downright crazy.

and as for the second highlight ... lol..

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 4:46:32 AM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

I'm not sure if I'm the only one here who is getting a little more peed off by this special brand of sanctimonious neonazism that appears to be spreading through this and other sites like some sort of nefarious cancer.

I'm writing about the constant bitching, carping, whining and bellyaching over who is a fake, who is a wannabe, who has the bogus profiles and so on, and so on, and so on..

.. and on and on and on.... like a stuck record, over and over again.

It's getting tedious, it's negative, and it goes right against the grain of WIITWD.

You see for one thing, you don't know whether someone is fake or not. (You here is generic).

At best you have an opinion based on a groundless accusation.

An opinion that nobody in particular is really all that bothered about.

What is it to you whether someone is fake or not? Does their presence cause you any emotional distress? Are they hurting you? Upsetting you?

Just what is it about someone you feel is fake that gets to you?

And what makes you more real than them?

Your opinion?

Yeah right.




I used to see a LOT of that a few years ago and it really DID seem like an obsessive passtime. Mostly it was all wrapped up in being *in* the the in-crowd and if you weren't/wouldn't/won't fall in with the crowd you got mauled in the most spiteful way.

It happens *out there* ...it happens *in here*. Boring and dull. Anyone that wastes energy on it would see my heels.

agirl









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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 5:02:35 AM   
CatdeMedici


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 I don't know stella, people like to bitch, people like to pounce on others, people like to draw attention, people like drama, people want to blame others for their misfortunes, people feel the need to mark their turf, make their presence known in some form or fashion.
 
 
Said new profile comes here filled with unrealistic expectations finds others with the same goals and when they don't walk off with their ideal other in  xxx timeframe or less, everyone is to blame. We are protected behind the screen, so we can say anything, do anything, blame anyone and there will always be someone to agree and there will always be someone to disagree--all most people need is one person to agree and vindication reigns supreme.
 
Its funny, if I don't get spiritually fulfilled at mass, I don't put an ad in the bulletin and call the priest a fake.
 
If the doctor doesn't cure what ails Me, I don't jump up on the desk and scream "fake" at the top of My lungs.
 
If the Sr VP at work takes too long to make what I perceive is a sound business decision, I don't call him/her a fake.
 
Maybe its just an outlet to vent a stress that cannot be vented "out there".
 
 
 

< Message edited by CatdeMedici -- 5/13/2009 5:25:28 AM >


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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 5:03:10 AM   
slavekal


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I have to take the opposite position.  I don't think the problem is so much that this person or that one is fake.  It's that some people are inundated with fake/jerk off fantasy messages from people who have no intention of meeting.  There are a LOT of selfish time wasters out there.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 6:36:14 AM   
gumshoe


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

This is a free site.  I pay nothing but have fun here.  Plus I expect that I will find a sub woman here to spend my life with.

That's a heckuva lot for free.  I'm not gonna let a few fake profiles bother me, if that's the price I have to pay for this.



Set against the Internet generally CM ain't really a bad website.

Compare it to some of the pay sites I've checked out.
I register, but don't give them my credit card details.
A few days later I got a message from someone with movie star looks.
To read the message I must first hand over my credit card details.
What really makes this so unplausible is who the hell would send a message to someone with an empty profile and a user-name of 'SmellyOldSod'?

You always have to read in between the lines regardless of the medium, Internet, TV, newspapers and so on.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 7:42:26 AM   
lizi


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Once you get the hang of identifying scammers or posers, I think the pointing fingers and calling others fake is mostly simple disappointment in not finding what you want. People sign up, hope to make a connection with someone special, it doesn't work out for whatever reason and there is disappointment. Can't get around that.

At that point depending on the person you are you can point fingers at others to feel better, you can suck it up and try again, or you can give up. It's work going through this process and it's just so disappointing to put the work in and not get what you want out of it. Who wouldn't want to stomp around a little and wail...I do, but it's in private not on a public venue where I'd look like an idiot. I'll admit my friends do get to hear me complain about dishonesty and that type of thing. In the end what I do with what has happened is my choice and where will it get me to act childish in public by pointing fingers and such?  I usually pick myself up and try again, it's the only productive thing you can do. The complaining feels good but gets you no where.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 3:05:27 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

I'm not sure if I'm the only one here who is getting a little more peed off by this special brand of sanctimonious neonazism that appears to be spreading through this and other sites like some sort of nefarious cancer.

My dearest friend... you're not the only one. i got so peed off i stopped posting. Grew very very tired of the bullying and 'conformity club'.But you know what we said the last time we spoke? We have to walk out the door anyways. Life is real eh? And all too real at times. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
I'm writing about the constant bitching, carping, whining and bellyaching over who is a fake, who is a wannabe, who has the bogus profiles and so on, and so on, and so on..

.. and on and on and on.... like a stuck record, over and over again.

Well i'm real. You're real. We are both very real indeed, larger than life, amazing people who have been through roller-coasters of a life. Your life Stella would make a block buster of a film. Mine would be a best seller of an autobiography no-one would actually believe.
To be honest? There are times when i wannabe. i wannabe be anybody, i mean just anybody other than i am. The responsibility of my life is just too much to bear. Often. Then again there are those brief moments, nearing the spiritual, when i am so thankful to be exactly who i am, where i am, and when i am, it simply takes my breath away. i say a prayer of thanks.


quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
It's getting tedious, it's negative, and it goes right against the grain of WIITWD.

No. i mean i simply don't agree with you. i find this so-called lifestyle brutal. Heavenly at times. But brutal. Honesty is like that. i rarely use the WIITWD because all i can be certain of is WIITID. And i am not always that certain of what it is that i do. 'It' changes. It's in a constant state of flux.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
You see for one thing, you don't know whether someone is fake or not. (You here is generic).

At best you have an opinion based on a groundless accusation.

No. That's true. i don't know who is 'fake' or who is 'real'. All i have to go on is what others 'put out' about themselves. i have a sneaking suspicion that, in actuality, i would probably really like those whom i happen to 'dislike' on line. i don't know why i say that even. There's no empirical evidence to any of it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
An opinion that nobody in particular is really all that bothered about.

What is it to you whether someone is fake or not? Does their presence cause you any emotional distress? Are they hurting you? Upsetting you?

When i'm up, when i'm strong, nothing bothers me. But when i am down, when i have a problem, when i have an issue, when i am lonely, in transition between relationships. dynamic all up in the air, i'm more likely to be posting here looking for advise and support. i can truly say, that on the whole, i have found support here, more likely in private emails from those who have given the time, read what i have said, and reached out to write.
Friends i have made here, by mail, and real friends like you, whom i have met and stayed with, what they say resounds in my head often throughout the day. i take comfort from those who understand, because it can be a lonely life. Those who master us (gnerically speaking) cannot be expected to complete us entirely and be the ones who supply our every need. This is just my opinion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
Just what is it about someone you feel is fake that gets to you?

i'm not bothered by fake. Some of my teeth are fake. My hair is fake. A couple of my joints are fake. Mt smile is often fake.. i have learned to smile when i feel ill or tired and need to carry on in a professional role. For the sake of others. i attempt not to lie and to tell the truth always. But i lie by omission. A passivity of lies. Is that fake?
What's fake? It's the no-man's land between truth and lies. It's the battle ground. It's where we are caught out, defenseless, dithering and running in both directions at once. Exposed. Silhouetted. That's what fake is. We are obvious to others out there in no-man's-generic-gender-land.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
And what makes you more real than them?

Because i am in my own skin and not theirs, or yours.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
Your opinion?

The problem is, (in my opinion..............) that it's all opinion. All is opinon. All opinon jostling for predominance over all the other opinions. Once i got that the basis even of scientific method was that there was no such thing as fact onlt that which occurs significantly over and above what migh happen by chance. No such thing as fact. All is opinion all is....


quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
Yeah right.

Stella i'm in love. i've started to consider, in a deeper way that ever before, well attempting to consider how to see myself from someone else's point of view. Well trying to see myself from His point of view. what i'm learning is that my opinion does matter. He telling me that. And also that my opinon doesn't matter when it conflicts with or creates a conflict with His opinion(s). That the conflict isn't worth the conflict. But that between us. i'm not in a dynamic of that order with anyone else. And so i'm less guarded with the results of my opinions upon others. Less thoughtful. Sarcastic at worst. Ironic at best. Can you tell the difference?
Yeah right....
much love Stella.





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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 7:01:14 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I recently saw the profile of a man on this site that I met on another site and went on one date with.  His opening line here is how he is tired of the "fakes".  On that one date, all he did was bitch about his ex wife.  Very big turn off.  I imagine it doesn't occur to him that all us "fakes" found our first meeting with him to be so off putting that we don't want to bother pursuing it further. 


so damn true  Had a similar experience which was probably slighty worse in my case

quote:


When I see profiles talking about "fakes" or how they are "real" and looking for same, I automatically pass them by.  I know they have some preconceived notion of what is "right" and I'm not likely to meet their "requirements" (nor would I want to). 


Considering the profile of one of the person I met...thats a very true clue about if it is worth being bothered to meet or not

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 9:11:18 PM   
SIRLOINSTEAK


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I so don't like being politically correct.....

People thinking they can tell me how I can talk....FUCK OFF.....

What Politically correctness is really about is forcing your beliefs on other people.....

I also like to say GO TO HELL alot.... ;0

BTW, this should probably be in RANT section, not general bdsm discussions.....Its labeled RANTS...FOR CHRIST SAKE!!

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 9:35:52 PM   
Arpig


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There's a Rants section?

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 9:39:52 PM   
stella41b


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There isn't, but I'd like to thank everyone for turning this into an interesting thread which was enjoyable to come back and read.

s.

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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/13/2009 9:51:56 PM   
SailingBum


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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: darklight17

*scratches head* So this is actually complaining ABOUT complaining? Let them eat cake.


gotta agree with my man dark on this one ..this is a real ball scratcher ...
If i were serious about complaining, about the complainers who do i make my complaint with????

BadOne


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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/14/2009 4:03:14 AM   
stella41b


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: darklight17

*scratches head* So this is actually complaining ABOUT complaining? Let them eat cake.


gotta agree with my man dark on this one ..this is a real ball scratcher ...
If i were serious about complaining, about the complainers who do i make my complaint with????

BadOne



Irony isn't a soft drink you know.


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RE: For fakes sake (a rant) - 5/14/2009 4:05:34 AM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b


Irony isn't a soft drink you know.



Nor the land where the Ironians live...

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