RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance?

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 3:45:31 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
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FR....

I just have to wonder why it is that people harp on about "it's not my thing, I'm not attracted to fat people" and feel its ok to belittle and use words like behemoth/fatty.

It is a personal preference...you can choose to not like me (general) because I'm fat (btw...that word is something I claimed a long tim ago and has no negative power over me, personally) but I would have to question your reason to feel the need to go further and compare me to a house.

I guess common courtesy ain't so common.

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Post #: 261

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 3:48:47 AM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN

CBW confident big woman...

GYPZYQUEEN.....I may be borrowing this!

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 4:01:24 AM

MstrTiger

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline

I guess it is a cultural difference, people in the UK do not need to claim their fatness, do you have to go on a course or something to be able to do that?

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 263

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 4:05:15 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

I do not agree with this in the slightest, there is a social stigma attached to dating a fatty I guess though the major overriding factor is that most guys and a lot of ladies simply do not find overweight people attractive. You can dress it up however you want though unfortunately that is just the way of things.

When it comes to finding a sexual partner I discriminate against fat people without any shame whatsoever, I just do not find it attractive, why should I go with someone who I don’t find attractive just to make them feel happy about the fact they are the size of a house?

I have never in my life, even though I've met some very large people, met anyone the size of a house. I have met MANY rude assholes I would like to knock into next February.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 264

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 4:07:48 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
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Unfortunate you couldn't read my post as a fast reply in general. Claiming the word fat...not fatness...is no different than re-claiming any word society has chosen as a negative. I prefer to atleast try to look for positives.

However.....the last sentence of my post seems to be easily proven again and again.

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 5/20/2009 4:08:24 AM >

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Post #: 265

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 4:10:50 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

I do not agree with this in the slightest, there is a social stigma attached to dating a fatty I guess though the major overriding factor is that most guys and a lot of ladies simply do not find overweight people attractive. You can dress it up however you want though unfortunately that is just the way of things.

When it comes to finding a sexual partner I discriminate against fat people without any shame whatsoever, I just do not find it attractive, why should I go with someone who I don’t find attractive just to make them feel happy about the fact they are the size of a house?

I have never in my life, even though I've met some very large people, met anyone the size of a house. I have met MANY rude assholes I would like to knock into next February.

gives a standing ovation to LaT

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Post #: 266

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 4:19:46 AM

MstrTiger

Posts: 417
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From: UK
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I think you are all grossly over sensitive, you are not afflicted, you are not a separate group, you do not in need special treatment and you do not need to reclaim anything, overweight people just need to eat less and exercise more. You are not in the same boat as ethnic minorities or disabled people or anyone else of that nature and to even use language that suggests you just seams totally ridiculous to me. If stating the truth of a situation makes me an insensitive asshole then I am happy to be one, I am not the one attempting to hide from reality which personally I think is far worse.

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 267

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 4:32:06 AM

tangleddesire

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/20/2009
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As an obese woman, or as my doctor calls it "morbidly obese", I definitely find that BDSMers can actually be crueler than vanilla folk.

I have been back and forth to this site quite often, and many times the reason I left was because of the people who are cruel about my weight.

I had been a live-in "slave" with a "Master" (and I use this term loosely) who said it was fine that I was a BBW, but as soon as I moved in with him, he put me on a diet consisting of 2 gallons of water per day, carrots and apples. This starvation diet made me faint more times than I can remember. One time he made me shovel his driveway and I passed out in the snow and all he did was lock the door and told me to finish shoveling.

So, no, BDSM folk are just like the rest. Perhaps even crueler.

(in reply to MstrTiger)

Post #: 268

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 4:34:57 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tangleddesire

As an obese woman, or as my doctor calls it "morbidly obese", I definitely find that BDSMers can actually be crueler than vanilla folk.

I have been back and forth to this site quite often, and many times the reason I left was because of the people who are cruel about my weight.

I had been a live-in "slave" with a "Master" (and I use this term loosely) who said it was fine that I was a BBW, but as soon as I moved in with him, he put me on a diet consisting of 2 gallons of water per day, carrots and apples. This starvation diet made me faint more times than I can remember. One time he made me shovel his driveway and I passed out in the snow and all he did was lock the door and told me to finish shoveling.

So, no, BDSM folk are just like the rest. Perhaps even crueler.

Hmmmm..... Ok anyone else wanna say it?....Or do i get to be the asshole again?

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Post #: 269

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 4:40:41 AM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

I think you are all grossly over sensitive, you are not afflicted, you are not a separate group, you do not in need special treatment and you do not need to reclaim anything, overweight people just need to eat less and exercise more. You are not in the same boat as ethnic minorities or disabled people or anyone else of that nature and to even use language that suggests you just seams totally ridiculous to me. If stating the truth of a situation makes me an insensitive asshole then I am happy to be one, I am not the one attempting to hide from reality which personally I think is far worse.

Curiosity made me wonder why this thread has gone to 14 pages, and reading some of the posts here helped me to understand why. Then i was going to reply to your post, coming from a person who is little below normal weight, but decided why bother. i cannot go down to your level and live well with myself.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 4:45:25 AM

Mezrem

Posts: 311
Joined: 11/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

I guess it is a cultural difference, people in the UK do not need to claim their fatness, do you have to go on a course or something to be able to do that?

Nice... I guess you told her.. huh well no wait you just proved her point in a way. Upset perhaps that you stuck your foot in your mouth and got called on it? But by all means don't adress her question or statement in total. Pick a part that you can make a rather lame joke about.. because well it made you seem so very cool.

(in reply to MstrTiger)

Post #: 271

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 5:12:57 AM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

FR, after read thru

Ummmm, respectfully, isn't this a please

situation?

True, this thread was full of trolls, some of them wearing 'attractive' exterior packagings alongside their naive & / or ill-thought-out beliefs, but nonetheless posters posting stuff that was setting off my troll-detectors something fierce . . . . . .

Tho', the flip is that many of the trolls who initially ventured in seeking easy potshots retreated never to be seen hereabouts again . . . . . . I personally observed* that slick 'film exec' come in here, read threads, & not post again pages after he left his little trail of vitriol -- I'm guessing that a life of reading scripts doesn't necessarily prepare one for actual argumentation, lol . . . . . .

*Does it make me even more of a freak that sometimes I just flit from thread to thread looking at who's reading a given thread (well, er, has opened it thru their account as displayed by the listing of usernames at the top)?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

(in reply to Mezrem)

Post #: 272

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 5:18:22 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

LadyPact, I think some communities are more welcoming/accepting than others (not just toward bigger people, but in general), and the same goes for individuals. I can't compare it to the South, since I've only visited there for a week, twice, but I doubt anyone will treat you badly after your move out here. I hope you'll be able to get up to the Bay Area for the occasional fetish event or whatever, and I'd love to meet you! I hope the move goes smoothly for you, and that you find some compatible local guys to play with once you get out here. I don't think Central CA has as much of a formal BDSM scene, but there are a lot of people from CM in that area.

Thank you for the good wishes. I have plans to drag MP around the state getting to as many events in CA as possible. It goes without saying that there are quite a number of CM folks that I want to meet!

As for the playing, I'm fairly confident that I can make that happen. The masochists generally don't worry too much about what I look like. They just care that I know My way around giving pain.

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Post #: 273

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 5:24:11 AM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

Hey, LadyPact. I live a coupla hours north of Sacramento, & have attended BDSM events in Sac & in SF & in my local area over the last coupla years. The following is what I posted earlier in the thread, but in a way-huge post, so it was easy to miss:

quote:

I actually do think that there are ways & places in which BDSM can be a more accepting space about people's bodies -- all the play parties & 'public' dungeons I've gone to have been places where I can run around scantily clad & or naked & be appreciated. Outside of nudist colonies & Burning Man, I'm hard-pressed to think of other places where I can strut around & feel desired (inclusive of admiring looks from others) when wearing darn little to no clothing . . . .

It's true that here on CM it's easy for people to display a level of pickiness they may not even actually follow thru in real life, but in real life BDSM interactions I've found that not only is there quite a bit of 'fat acceptance', some places & people actually demand fat acceptance as part of polite conduct . . . . . (SinfulCat in Sac, when running her Sindulgences space specifically had fat tolerance as a requirement to attend play parties, for example . . . . . . )

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 274

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 5:39:43 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Very good to know! Thanks for pulling that up again, Kia.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DemonKia)

Post #: 275

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 5:54:36 AM

JaDaMaGi

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

I don't understand why people get so emotional about preferences. People like what they like. To use the example that keeps coming up... I exercise a lot, and I'm attracted to lean muscles on women. I think its rude when people throw insults when saying they're not into some one (Like, You're a fat cow, screw off), but I also think its rude for someone to be severely offended when someone politely lets them know that the attraction isn't there.
I have no problem being friends with people of any body type. If I'm going to get naked with someone, though, I want someone I'll be attracted to.
J

(in reply to EmelineRose)

Post #: 276

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 6:09:14 AM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

Huh? Oh, sorry....Did you you say something?? I was trying to pay attention.. I really was... But I was having a hard time concentrating for some reason...

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 6:20:00 AM

KMsAngel

Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

bsb, are you ignoring the man's words because of his body size? for shame! he's a human, too, you know. not just a chunk of meat.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 6:21:40 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Very good to know! Thanks for pulling that up again, Kia.

LadyPact, if you and Kia come to town, let me know! I am sorry I didn't get to meet your partner but I was glad to help him out when he was here. As for Cat, she still has a space and it is as sensual a playspace as you can find. There is a cool picture of it in my profile, its the room we call the "spider room"

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 279

RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/20/2009 6:23:19 AM

JaDaMaGi

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

ha ha. oh, very flattering. ;-)
Thanks.
You're pretty hot yourself.

I was expecting to get chewed out for saying I only like lean women. This is much better.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 280

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