RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance?

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KMsAngel -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 7:38:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: ORIGINAL: KMsAngel michael, i would get pissed at you too for wanting the size 6 if you weren't all lean and spiffy too. and then i'd cry 'cause i'm not size 6 and not in CA anymore [;)] Angel, I actually don't tend to like women as skinny as size 6 and I have come to really like latex and PVC dresses and to me they look better on a woman with serious curves and thin women just don't like right to me. One of the hottest women I have ever been with was a 14-16 but she was a bellydancer and moved with a grace that made everyone look when she entered the room. We all know I like hot women, but for me, body comes a distant third after a beautiful face, a great personality, and only then their body. However imperfect a woman is, if she is my partner she really becomes the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I met some of the women I had been around with a previous partner, all of whom I thought were less attractive and after some adjustment I realized in a few cases there were actually quite beautiful in their own right but I just didn't even notice at the time. Angel, if you ever get to CA I promise I will offer you one night of depraved debauchery but that one night that will spoil you forever so choose wisely! i'd swoon, but i'd get modslapped again. i have plans for CA, but they're up north a bit and might interfere with that one night .... i'll will remember however......[:)] to get back on topic (glad i'm not the only one wacked): quote: In my humble opinion, I don't think that kinksters are necessarily more tolerant of body size. ....but I do think kinky people are more interested in wider ranges of body types. People have fetishes for less mainstream body types, and so demand them. ....I think. this is way more accurate i think, and i'm liking you better all the time with your clarifications and less use of hurtful wording [;)]

Daddyluvsitrough -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 7:42:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrTiger I think you are all grossly over sensitive, you are not afflicted, you are not a separate group, you do not in need special treatment and you do not need to reclaim anything, overweight people just need to eat less and exercise more. You are not in the same boat as ethnic minorities or disabled people or anyone else of that nature and to even use language that suggests you just seams totally ridiculous to me. If stating the truth of a situation makes me an insensitive asshole then I am happy to be one, I am not the one attempting to hide from reality which personally I think is far worse. Thank you!! I don't see much difference between someone who chooses to stick a needle in their arm to poison their body vs. someone eats poorly and doesn't exercise - both are doing harm to the body. A junkie is a junkie, a drunk is a drunk, and obese people are fat - put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Obesity is a national epidemic in America that continues to snowball yet you're asking the problem to be swept under the rug because of your own personal feelings of your own body image. I haven't attacked anyone personally here yet now I'm being called a fascist & bigot for pointing out that obesity is a problem, a health risk, and doesn't deserve to be swept under the rug just so you can sleep better at night. It's pretty transparent that you feel the need to lash out at me personally because you are not happy with yourself. To those who are obviously grossly oversensitive to their own issues ... throwing around terms like fascism and bigotry ... are there mobs in the streets with pitchforks and rope coming in the middle of the night to lynch all the obese people? You think it's a quantum leap to compare a heroin addict/alcoholic with someone who's obese, yet you have no problem equating obesity with racism. The difference is one is a choice, one is not.

JaDaMaGi -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 7:45:15 AM)
Oh good. Glad I'm not offending so much now. :-P ...and a previous post did remind me that although I have preference in body type, it is only part of the equation. I can be very attracted to a woman when she exhibits some mental/emotional superness (yep, superness is a word, now shush). It makes me think that maybe kinky individuals are more tolerant of body shape because they often have a stronger mental connection that overrides physical considerations to a degree. I guess the whole attractive not attractive thing is tough to explain. I've seen women that wouldn't fit my genarel description of what I'm into, but made me trip on my own feet anyway.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 7:47:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JaDaMaGi Heh heh. cool. Ya, I wouldn't blanket state that being slim is attractive either. Actually, I'm not into skinny girls. I am often misunderstood in that regard. When I say lean, I mean it very differently than skinny. There may be a better word I haven't thought of. i do a lot of things outside. Climbing, hiking, running, etc. I guess what it really comes down to is a high strength to weight proportion. That just sounds too technical and silly, though. I like someone who is physically strong, and able to do a lot of physical activity. I know exactly what you mean. The woman who was a bellydance was a big girl but because she danced constantly, she was actually rather firm underneath it all. I have the same thing about those women who are thin but have no tone, its kind of gross all bony with nothing under it. Perhaps the term could be BAWs Big Athletic Women...except it doesn't sound pretty enough. Bottom line is we all like some things and not others. I prefer brunettes to blonds as well, I don't like women who giggle, it doesn't make me special for doing so, nor does it make me an ass. Gays have lots of cool words for various types, I tend to be a bit of a "bear" big furry beast with arms that wrap around and make someone feel safe. Works for some, not others, I used to get pissy about it but now I just embrace it.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 7:51:08 AM)
Well, welcome to collarme, and I hope the modsters don't scare you off, because I like reading you, and the cuteness doesn't hurt either... Even if you are flawed, and think a lady should be climbing mountains, etc... [8D] M

breatheasone -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 7:52:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JaDaMaGi Oh good. Glad I'm not offending so much now. :-P ...and a previous post did remind me that although I have preference in body type, it is only part of the equation. I can be very attracted to a woman when she exhibits some mental/emotional superness (yep, superness is a word, now shush). It makes me think that maybe kinky individuals are more tolerant of body shape because they often have a stronger mental connection that overrides physical considerations to a degree. I guess the whole attractive not attractive thing is tough to explain. I've seen women that wouldn't fit my genarel description of what I'm into, but made me trip on my own feet anyway. Yep....you get it... and at the risk of sounding (well, however this may sound)...i am proud of you. Its the same kind of pride i have when i see my own adult kids(27, 24, 23), or their friends grow, and "see" more....Well done JaDaMaGi!

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 7:53:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CarrieO Calla (forgive me if that's too informal)... Would you be able to post a link for these articles or send me a PM to point m in the right direction? This appears to be somewhat similar to what I have been dealing with and would love another resource. Systemic inflammation is a new phrase for me but it looks like I'll need to become more informed...especially since it was one of many that was thrown my way when visiting a rheumatologist. Thank you. CarrieO, [sm=offtopic2.gif]When I get home and can access the other side (which I can't do from my micro), I'll c-mail you the references for the articles. The one thing that my rheumatologist mentioned that is going to be a real drag is that I'm going to have to go off my prednisone and other immune suppressants, at least for a few months (and stay off them except for emergencies)... apparently, despite it being considered an 'anti-inflammatory', one of the side-effects of prednisone and immune suppressants is a "relocation" of inflammation to internal organs like the heart, an increase in protective adipose stores in an attempt to 'cushion' the body from the inflammation, and sensitization of the body's inflammatory processes, so the level of inflammation actually goes UP in things like cardiac muscle, the liver, the kidneys, etc., when on steroidal anti-inflammatories. That is going to -seriously- suck, as we're looking at at least 2-3 flares of my disease while we wean me off the meds. If it works, though, I may end up in a more long-term remission AND get rid of the steroid fat and some of the inflammation as well! Dame Calla

MstrTiger -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:06:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mezrem quote: ORIGINAL: MstrTiger I guess it is a cultural difference, people in the UK do not need to claim their fatness, do you have to go on a course or something to be able to do that? Nice... I guess you told her.. huh well no wait you just proved her point in a way. Upset perhaps that you stuck your foot in your mouth and got called on it? But by all means don't adress her question or statement in total. Pick a part that you can make a rather lame joke about.. because well it made you seem so very cool. I genuinely am interested in finding out how one claims their fatness and ask the question would it not be a lot easier and more proactive to just eat less instead? I don’t think anyone comes to the boards on collarme to try and be cool, do they? I am also perfectly aware that my viewpoint might be a bit inflammatory though I stand by it. I do not have an issue with people who are overweight and genuinely accept themselves, I actually quite admire that. I have a friend who is a uk size 22 and she really could not careless, she likes chocolate she admits it and she is happy. I just have a total hatred of bullshit and this thread has been liberally spread with it almost from the start. I simply do not understand why people need to surround themselves with such utter crap to try and justify the way they are, particularly when it is over something they do not like about themselves. I can’t believe than anyone genuinely things the primary reason as to why someone would not date a fat person is simply because of social stigma and not because they do not find fat people attractive, that just seams to go beyond common sense. I am also confused when fat people try to make themselves out to be victims, is their fridge abusing them or something? I keep forgetting that talking about people being fat is not politically correct anymore from now on I will refer to all overweight people as ‘victims of food’ that appears to be the way many of them are acting. I honestly think if people spent less time wallowing in bouts of self pity trying to ‘own their fatness’ and more time taking light exercise their problem would be more likely to diminish, why cant people just be honest with themselves, I find it shocking that people can be so self deluded.

JaDaMaGi -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:09:42 AM)
Actually, for me personally, my preference of body type goes along with lifestyle. To get to my house you literally have to walk up a mountain. It isn't a huge mountain or anything, but the road up there is only occassionally driveable, and only with 4 wheel drive. Soo.... most of the time I and anyone going there walks a little under a mile. Its great exercise. ....and one of the reasons I bought the property. I wanted to make it impossible for me to get out of shape. I guess body type is different for most people in North America. Logistically, it makes no difference in mainstream everyday life.

Andalusite -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:09:49 AM)
JaDa, I think you mean "athletic." [;)] I have no problem with the way you or Michael put it, and for that matter, GotSteel didn't say anything nasty, though I do question the study he posted about. HollywoodExec wasn't saying anything blatantly cruel, but I do think he has an unrealistic view of how easy it is to lose weight. Tiger and a couple of other guys have been really nasty about it, though, so I wouldn't date them even if they were local and otherwise interesting. I'm a size 5/6 petite, so they presumably wouldn't call me fat, but I don't want someone who is that mean, whether about fat or about ethnicity or even politics. I completely understand what you mean in the last post, some people are fantastic eye candy, but I wouldn't want to date them! Michael, I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with a man who prefers skinny women, even if he's a bit chubby himself. It's all in how he brings it up. Personally, I've dated guys ranging from very skinny to chubby/overweight, but not outright obese. I am pretty active, in many areas, and like guys who do martial arts, dancing, climbing, hiking, or other physical stuff. Even if a guy was too fat or too skinny for me to be attracted to him, I'd try to find a tactful way to turn him down as an individual, rather than mentioning his weight, or kicking up a huge fuss about fat people all being lazy/ugly/disgusting/whatever. I only had a chance to meet you for a few minutes, so I have no idea whether or not you and I would have any chemistry, but I enjoyed our conversation!

SimplyMichael -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:11:22 AM)
Being fat is kind of like being an asshole. The theory on how to be thin/nice is well understood, however for some of us putting that into practice isn't the easiest of things.

breatheasone -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:12:29 AM)
quote: I find it shocking that people can be so self deluded. Indeed, would you care for a mirror there kiddo?

RedMagic1 -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:19:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite I'm a size 5/6 petite, so they presumably wouldn't call me fat, but I don't want someone who is that mean, whether about fat or about ethnicity or even politics. Regardless of how your body might look, your mind is frikkin gorgeous.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:20:19 AM)
I would be terrible at an overweight=unhealthy lecture. There is a 35yo adonis bodied gentleman currently lying in a hospital bed with devices working for his heart, because he had a heart attack (and subsequent heart muscle weakness) while mountain climbing... Completely sucks, and he looks like the alleged picture of health, were he not unfortunately attached to so many machines. And I'm not flirting, no matter how cute you are... I happen to own a four wheel drive verhicle, and don't mind walking that much, though it's usually at the malls or some big outlet shopping center. quote: SimplyMichael Being fat is kind of like being an asshole. The theory on how to be thin/nice is well understood, however for some of us putting that into practice isn't the easiest of things. ROTFLMAO... [sm=rofl.gif] You see, that is why I don't apologize for being big. I ain't going on a diet, and I'm happy to sweat, but with diseases out there, a girl can't exercise as much as she could. M

Andalusite -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:28:32 AM)
Thanks, RedMagic![:)]

MstrTiger -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:34:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone quote: I find it shocking that people can be so self deluded. Indeed, would you care for a mirror there kiddo? What am I deluded about?

stella41b -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:42:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddyluvsitrough I don't see much difference between someone who chooses to stick a needle in their arm to poison their body vs. someone eats poorly and doesn't exercise - both are doing harm to the body. A junkie is a junkie, a drunk is a drunk, and obese people are fat - put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Obesity is a national epidemic in America that continues to snowball yet you're asking the problem to be swept under the rug because of your own personal feelings of your own body image. I haven't attacked anyone personally here yet now I'm being called a fascist & bigot for pointing out that obesity is a problem, a health risk, and doesn't deserve to be swept under the rug just so you can sleep better at night. It's pretty transparent that you feel the need to lash out at me personally because you are not happy with yourself. To those who are obviously grossly oversensitive to their own issues ... throwing around terms like fascism and bigotry ... are there mobs in the streets with pitchforks and rope coming in the middle of the night to lynch all the obese people? You think it's a quantum leap to compare a heroin addict/alcoholic with someone who's obese, yet you have no problem equating obesity with racism. The difference is one is a choice, one is not. People have gone to war over the right to be free and have freedom of personal expression and the freedom of speech. These are the same rights which you are choosing to exercise when you log onto this website and post on these boards. In exercising your right to express yourself and express your opinions you are making a choice, however within that choice to express your opinion comes the words which you choose to express. Those are your words, you own them. Nobody here is arguing over whether obese people are fat, nor whether drug addicts abuse drugs, alcoholics abuse alcohol, or other people making such choices which directly influence their own lives. We're also not discussing the expression of preferences relating to people with whom we interact on a personal and intimate level such is the bedrock of being involved in BDSM. But to make derogatory statements against a group of people on account of something about their person over which they cannot easily control and justify those statements without informed opinion or balanced judgment is indeed bigotry. No issue with someone being a bigot. However perhaps you need to take your own advice about not being too overly sensitive and maybe you need to put on your big boy pants and own the words you have expressed. At least so as not to expose the glaring hypocrisy in your statements.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:42:11 AM)
Aren't you deluded about the importance and absolutism of your opinion? People are dissatisfied for many reasons, and they usually choose one thing to pin it on. Not being fat however, I wonder where your disdain comes from. I don't like victims either, but it isn't for me to slap them around, and tell them to stop if that is how they cope with life. It's okay to be hurtful to someone who enjoys it, but when you're just being hurtful because that is what feeds your little ego, I have to wonder what your problem is. M

Mezrem -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 8:52:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrTiger I genuinely am interested in finding out how one claims their fatness and ask the question would it not be a lot easier and more proactive to just eat less instead? I don’t think anyone comes to the boards on collarme to try and be cool, do they? I am also perfectly aware that my viewpoint might be a bit inflammatory though I stand by it. I can't and wont attempt to read the mind of the one who made the comment you are speaking of. I will offer you my point of view on it though. Owning it for me means I am able to walk with my head held high. I am happy with who I am and refuse to be sent to the back of the bus or made to feel ashamed. I have been down that dark road and yes it's a cycle. Yes I'm large, fat, obiese heavy how ever you want to shove me into. I for one though see me as me. IF I change it will be to please me.. beause I want to take the steps. I do not have an issue with people who are overweight and genuinely accept themselves, I actually quite admire that. I have a friend who is a uk size 22 and she really could not careless, she likes chocolate she admits it and she is happy. I just have a total hatred of bullshit and this thread has been liberally spread with it almost from the start. I simply do not understand why people need to surround themselves with such utter crap to try and justify the way they are, particularly when it is over something they do not like about themselves. I can’t believe than anyone genuinely things the primary reason as to why someone would not date a fat person is simply because of social stigma and not because they do not find fat people attractive, that just seams to go beyond common sense. Again I will not attempt to speak for anyone but myself. My reasons for why I am as I am are my own. I don't need anyone to validate them or excuse them. I'm not going to bitch or wine because some one will not want to play with me because of my size. Just as I don't want a person to bitch at me because I won't play with them for some other reasons. What I take exception too are the attacks made by some in this thread. Being compaired to a house for instance. It's just not helpful to any kind of dialog. I am also confused when fat people try to make themselves out to be victims, is their fridge abusing them or something? I keep forgetting that talking about people being fat is not politically correct anymore from now on I will refer to all overweight people as ‘victims of food’ that appears to be the way many of them are acting. I honestly think if people spent less time wallowing in bouts of self pity trying to ‘own their fatness’ and more time taking light exercise their problem would be more likely to diminish, why cant people just be honest with themselves, I find it shocking that people can be so self deluded. In order for a person to get better they have to come to terms with what ever they are fighting. Be that problem drugs, food or what ever. You offer it up as wallowing in bouts of self pity.. I see it for my part of coming to terms with what I am. Being isolated by people, being judged so harshly is of no real help in this process. I am at this moment tinner then I have ever been in my life.. I am so because I did not listen to people speaking as you and some others have in your posts. All fat people do not all wallow in self pity. We see in the mirror every day that we are the way we are.. it is only when we deside to take the steps will that change. You can't make that choice to make some one else happy.. you can't do it to please your parents or any other loved one... you have to do it for youself. I'm starting to ramble now so I'm going to stop typing in a moment. I would like to offer one last comment though. It's fine if you don't understand.. I don't expect you too. It's fine that you would make the choice to not play with a fat person. Just remember though that you are talking to a real person and a little compassion may be the first step for one person to start onto the road to a healther life.. both mental health and physical. Blessed Be

MstrTiger -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/20/2009 9:15:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1 Aren't you deluded about the importance and absolutism of your opinion? People are dissatisfied for many reasons, and they usually choose one thing to pin it on. Not being fat however, I wonder where your disdain comes from. I don't like victims either, but it isn't for me to slap them around, and tell them to stop if that is how they cope with life. It's okay to be hurtful to someone who enjoys it, but when you're just being hurtful because that is what feeds your little ego, I have to wonder what your problem is. M My point is that they are not victims, and that they are self deluded if they think they are. I is really not healthy for someone to delude themselves in such an unfortunate way, fantasising that you are a victim to justify the fact that you like to eat too much seams quite fucked up to me. I have always held bullshit in high distain, and I do think that speculating about what drives my ego, and then using you obviously bias opinion to justify your weak argument is rather silly thing to attempt to do on a message board. I am not deluded about my fallibility, I am perfectly willing to accept I could be wrong on any issue. You have made absolutely no attempt to try to prove me thus, all you have done is speculate on my nature and motivations which as I formally stated seams like a very bizarre thing for a total stranger to attempt to do on an internet forum based on a few messages. Personally I think that says a lot more about the fallibility of your intellect than it does about mine.

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