can anybody help me?

can anybody help me? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

DesertEagle44 -> can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 3:37:44 PM)
are there any women here that are you into the mental part of it? for those of how do not know me, im thomas. here's my story. i have been a Quadriplegic since the age of 5. i don't have any movement below my neck. most people dont see how a Quadriplegic can Dominant anybody but if you think about it, most of Dominanting is all in the mind. ill be very truthful here. im looking for a slave to train to my needs or a veery open minded sub. i cant relocate anybody, i cant move to you so all my Dominance would be only on-line. some people say that this can work but its like 1 in 100,000,000. im just wondering if this is true. if anyone knows anybody, let me know thomas

angelikaJ -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 3:51:31 PM)
I think you will find many people do understand that you can be a dominant partner without using your body. Have you gone to any of your local munches? It might be a good way to network and learn.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 3:56:41 PM)
It's DomiNATE and Dominating, not Dominant and Dominanting.And yes there are probably women out there who'd like the mental only perhaps there's groups for mental play only.. quote: ORIGINAL: DesertEagle44 are there any women here that are you into the mental part of it? for those of how do not know me, im thomas. here's my story. i have been a Quadriplegic since the age of 5. i don't have any movement below my neck. most people dont see how a Quadriplegic can Dominant anybody but if you think about it, most of Dominanting is all in the mind. ill be very truthful here. im looking for a slave to train to my needs or a veery open minded sub. i cant relocate anybody, i cant move to you so all my Dominance would be only on-line. some people say that this can work but its like 1 in 100,000,000. im just wondering if this is true. if anyone knows anybody, let me know thomas

sirsholly -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 3:57:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourHandMyAss It's DomiNATE and Dominating, not Dominant and Dominanting that was helpful.

sirsholly -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 4:00:52 PM)
i agree with Angelika...if you can find a few local munches in your area you may find who you are looking for. Until then...communicate online as much as you are comfortable. The boards here are a great place to chat and gain knowledge.

Prinsexx -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 4:08:08 PM)
Dear thomas this is about 'it' being in the mind.... where else is anything? what i mean by this is that the older i get the more important my mind becomes relatively speaking. when i was 5 i remember running and running and running free and my main concern was not to trip over errant paving stones...many great great years of experimentation and deepening my abilities to give in, let go and submit this body of mine? and i am left with two overwhelming conclusions: one that i never valued the runing free years and two that i have spent so much time addicted preoccupied and enslaved NOT by anyone but by my own preoccupations about whether my body was enough, or someone elses's enough. It grows old, it withers, ever so slowly, does my body... but i am owned and in love and loved i believe as much as it is possible to be right now. i swear to you it's not my body that captivates my captor. And thus, since it is not my body it must be my mind, that He is enticed by and values and wishes to own as unto Himself as if it were His own. Thank you for inspiring the first journal for many months.

GeekFreak -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 4:14:00 PM)
Relationships like that do exist and are possible. In fact, I might point you to the game/virtual universe Second Life. Along with your words, there are pretty detailed avatars and useable devices to help make that mental picture for you and a partner. I also mention this because Second Life has many people specifically looking for online only encounters (fair warning...many of them are attached in real life, and that's why they come there). I know it sounds really silly to most people, but it's actually quite a bit more in-depth than anyone who has not played would imagine...and the BDSM community quite large. However, -- and I mean this in the most polite way with no intention to be rude -- A woman who does want this will be one who finds great pleasure in another's words (and if mostly online, written words). While most of us can make sense of what you're typing and your profile, there are many common errors. I think the more you practice working on such things, the greater impact your words can have on online-partner candidates, and the greater chance you'll have of finding one. :)

DesertEagle44 -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 5:22:34 PM)
well first local munches seem to be out of the question, first cuz who would take me there? 2nd nobody has the same views as i do and dont support them. its a sad story of mine. i don't word my things so well cuz i never had to write in school and prob, cuz i never had a girlfriend to talk to. i may be rambling on but this is a issue that has bugged me for many years thank you for all you help

oceanwinds -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 5:35:14 PM)
Hello DesertEagle Perhaps just start like you did writing a post, reading different posts and adding your thoughts. Another piece of advice, if i may, is do not become sensitive to how people sometimes write on these posts. Take what benifits you and leave the rest. best of luck oceanwinds p.s. the mental part of being a Dom. imo, is the most important aspect there is.

AcademyForSlaves -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 9:57:31 PM)
I cannot speak for the other Mistresses in this regard but I Myself love dominating a man mentally. It means much more to Me than physical domination. Anyone can swing a whip and tie up a man, but not everyone can get into a man's head and effect his way of thinking. That is the challenge I live for. Real change and real domination.

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 11:09:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesertEagle44 well first local munches seem to be out of the question, first cuz who would take me there? 2nd nobody has the same views as i do and dont support them. its a sad story of mine. i don't word my things so well cuz i never had to write in school and prob, cuz i never had a girlfriend to talk to. i may be rambling on but this is a issue that has bugged me for many years You're doing fine there, bro. Not rambling at all, and we're getting what you're saying. Yeah, I can see where getting to a local munch is going to be a bit tricky in your situation. But maybe not as hard as you think. Have you thought about contracting one of the local munch groups, explaining your situation, and seeing whether anyone with the munch group can help out? You're in Alta Loma, right? Isn't that right down by San Berdoo? There's a bunch of munch groups in that general area, and some of the nicest people you can ever meet. I wouldn't be at all surprised if someone can help you out. There are a couple of ways you can do this. First, here's a link that'll take you to all the munch groups in California. I don't know, maybe you already have this info, but if you don't you might find it useful - http://www.drkdesyre.com/ That's a live link, just click on it and it'll take you to the front page of the site. Enter, then click on "meet people" in the upper left portion of the page. Then click on "California Event Calendar," and "Southern and Central Coast California Calendar." It's got a lot of contact info for munch groups in your general area, and the entire LA basin as a whole. Second, I don't claim to be an expert on the LA scene, but I've been out there a number of times, hit a buncha munches, and have some friends in the area. If you like, I'd be happy to send out a few e-mails, post to a few groups that I'm a member of, and see if anyone shoots back some suggestions on how to get you out and about. I won't do that unless it's something you want to have done, but I'm more than happy to do it if you think it would be useful. I can't make any promises that anything will come of it, but I can promise to do my best and see where it leads. There are some very sweet people out in the LA scene, and it wouldn't surprise me if one of them happens to have an accessible van. If it's something you'd like me to check into, feel free to let me know, and I'll get rolling on it. But whatever you decide to do, best of luck to you, man. That's a tough circumstance to deal with, but you're not letting it stop you, and we're all pulling for you and hoping it comes together for you. Sounds to me like you're going about it exactly the right way.

porcelaine -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 11:18:54 PM)
people pursue online only dynamics for many reasons. it isn't always because they are attached real time. however, responsibilities or other demands may prevent them from engaging in the manner they prefer. therefore online situations become more appealing. however, it would be prudent of you to discern this early on. particularly if you're limiting yourself to this realm only. as with all things it is good to make use of your resources and to consider all options. you've been given a very gracious offer by a fellow board member and it is difficult to predict what could become of it. keep an open mind and realize disability or not, this is always challenging. very few found the one they sought instantaneously. most have had to go through a few rotten apples or more profiles than they wish to admit before this occurred. make use of the time while you wait. there is nothing worse than lethargy and if the mental connection is what you crave, be certain you have the capacity to create the yoke and maintain it as well. i wish you luck. porcelaine

NihilusZero -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 11:35:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss It's DomiNATE and Dominating, not Dominant and Dominanting.And yes there are probably women out there who'd like the mental only perhaps there's groups for mental play only.. "perhaps there are groups" And that's ignoring the other punctuation errors.

NihilusZero -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/15/2009 11:43:17 PM)
To get to the point...you have happened upon a community where there is a tendency for people to search for dynamics that would defy heavy odds. So, while not trying to demean the difficulty of your situation, in a certain respect, you're not alone. My profile now isn't quite as verbose as it used to be (recent events prompted an adjustment), but I've had flattering CMs left to me just on the expressiveness of the words I used alone. Connections (particularly if just online, to start) don't need to happen beyond the melding of two interested minds. Being realistic while not succumbing to defeatism is a good first step.

sirsholly -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/16/2009 6:43:57 AM)
quote: 2nd nobody has the same views as i do and dont support them. its a sad story of mine. and no one has the same views as i do. My kink is not your kink and the dynamic that works for my husband and i would not work for the next couple. The idea here is not to expect others to have the same kink/lifestyle, but rather to share what works for us. Hopefully when we all do so, without criticism, we can learn from each other.

daddysliloneds -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/16/2009 7:09:43 AM)
mental domination is key for me; if he doesn't engage my mind, then we go no where but downhill; however, online domination isn't my style either so i'd suggest getting out and meeting people. to have someone desire to defer to you, you must still have something to offer them as a reason/desire and that would be by being the type of person they are looking for in general.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/16/2009 7:24:48 AM)
I've seen para doms, why not quads? I have driven people to munches, and I know others that have, too. If you can't get a ride from whatever service takes you places, maybe someone in the munch group has a vehicle that can do the job?

lovingpet -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/16/2009 7:31:27 AM)
I have had a turn of events that give me a lot of insight into this. Best shared via cmail however lovingpet

ExKat -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/16/2009 8:33:39 AM)
You might want to use the search function and re-read the other threads you've posted over the last year that deal with the same exact issue. As I recall, many of the same people told you the same thing: yes, you can find what you're looking for, but no: it's not going to be right away. I imagine that you'd have better luck trying to find an online only relationship in an online only place such as a chat room or something like Second Life...many people don't come to collarme until they want to move the online play to real-life (it seems to me).

Missokyst -> RE: can anybody help me? (5/16/2009 9:33:28 AM)
Really? A munch? I wouldn't have counselled this at all. Munches tend to bring in people who want to do this physically. Yes there is a huge mental component but the act, the touch, the physical connection is almost to another body is what brings them to seek out others in a social setting. As someone who meets with new people all the time I cannot think of one who comes to a munch to seek online domimation. But online is online. I can play Second Life and meet guys who sound like they are all that and in Second Life (online) they are! More than likely though in real life they probably would not even get a glance from me. The OP has a few obstacles in his way I am sure he knows that. My advice to the OP is this, you wish to do this online, find a game which allows that. Second Life is probably not going to be a venue for that soon as they are going "family friendly". But there are other places. Open Life still may have adult activity. World of Warcraft, oddly enough, though you also have to battle now and again. But it does bring people together virtually physically enough to develop a tenuous relationship. Good luck Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ I think you will find many people do understand that you can be a dominant partner without using your body. Have you gone to any of your local munches? It might be a good way to network and learn.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

4.711914E-02