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How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/16/2009 8:48:10 PM

footslaveinct

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This may seem like a stupid question, but on this site many people have cm names like Msabc123 for example. If a sub is writing an introductory e-mail is the right way to address the note "Dear Msabc123" or is there a better or more correct way?

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/16/2009 8:56:34 PM

MsD

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A better or more correct way is likely dependant on each individual Dominant's personal taste. That being said, I will contend that hello or good evening Ma'am or Sir, as the case may be, is respectful without overstepping boundaries.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/16/2009 9:11:08 PM

CarrieO

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Many women will say in their profiles how they would like (or not like) to be addressed, sometimes its quite clear and other times it takes a bit more reading to figure this out. If this isn't clarified...why not start with "Hello"?

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/16/2009 11:12:29 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

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quote:

ORIGINAL: footslaveinct

This may seem like a stupid question, but on this site many people have cm names like Msabc123 for example. If a sub is writing an introductory e-mail is the right way to address the note "Dear Msabc123" or is there a better or more correct way?

Sounds perfect. That's what I always do, and nobody's tracked me down and killed me yet!

Who knows what tomorrow holds, though....

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/16/2009 11:17:10 PM

Venatrix

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'Bye, Panda. It's been nice knowing you.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/16/2009 11:32:44 PM

pinnipedster

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The main rules I go by:

(1) Don't address her as "Mistress" unless she has specifically requested this. Many Dominants see this as presumptuous -- "You don't belong to me yet." (The exception would be if her profile name is "MistressXXX" or whatever, in which case addressing her by the full name is ok.)

(2) Be polite and respectful. "Ma'am" is usually a good choice -- but read her profile! There are some women out there who hate being called "Ma'am," and, even more, hate it when they get mail from people who clearly haven't read her profile....so if it says "Don't address me as Ma'am" somewhere and you do, that's two strikes already...

Sometimes I simply start with "Hello" without an actual form of address. This may be too informal, but a lot depends on the style of the lady involved. I try to get some idea by the way her profile is written.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/16/2009 11:33:03 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsD

A better or more correct way is likely dependant on each individual Dominant's personal taste. That being said, I will contend that hello or good evening Ma'am or Sir, as the case may be, is respectful without overstepping boundaries.

lol, do you know how many women have a problem with being called Ma'am? No disrespect but that's probably the last honorific I'd use.

Just address them how they either tell you in their profile or their screen name until instructed otherwise. Why is this so complicated?

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/16/2009 11:36:43 PM

BKSir

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To properly address a D type, you put the return address in the upper left corner, and the ship to address in the center, in larger print. Make sure you get the proper amount of postage though.

Seriously though, I have a rule. Unless I'm YOUR dom, don't call me sir or master or any of that shit, unless, of course, your d type has told you to.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/16/2009 11:52:36 PM

Venatrix

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FR - I *hate* Ma'am and Goddess. Oddly enough, "Mistress" doesn't bother me, because I always feel that they are addressing me as *a* mistress, not *their* mistress. "Miss" or my screen name are both fine. I don't specify in my profile how I want to be addressed, as it really isn't that important to me. Unless I'm in a scene with someone, my given name is fine. Though someone did once address me as "Babe," which made me want to do unpleasantly painful things to the person in question.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/16/2009 11:58:08 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

'Bye, Panda. It's been nice knowing you.

Oh-oh. You know something I don't... ?

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/17/2009 1:11:50 AM

sirsholly

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i would address a Master in the same way i would address anyone else. With courtesy.
Whereas they may be a Master/Mistress, they are not MY Master/Mistress so it is a title i would not use.
In the same light, i would not respond to a c-mail addressing me as sub/slave etc.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/17/2009 1:22:33 AM

EmelineRose

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D/s is a CONSENSUAL relationship between two (or more) people.

I would address them politely and respectfully as I would ANYONE until it evolved to something more than that.

I'd personally never be so presumptuous as to call a Dominant Sir or Master without getting their express permission first - some will take real exception if you do, because such terminology can denote some kind of D/s relationship with them.

If you're not sure just be polite - you can't really go too far wrong using basic good manners. Good luck.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/17/2009 5:57:00 PM

MistressDolly

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Ma'am is neutral, for me anyway.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/17/2009 6:03:11 PM

Kat713

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I agree with pinnipedster on this one. I like Ma'am or Miss. I HATE when subs call me Mistress right off the bat cuz I am not theirs yet. But as Venatrix says, maybe they are just calling me "a" Mistress. Anyway, it shows if you don't read my profile and ultimately that is what will piss me off. Just be courteous and respectful. When I address a male Dominant, I either use no title or a simple Sir. But, I mean, in real life, I would probably address anyone like that to be polite. But I definitely do not email "Hey, Master. When are you going to spank me?" lol that is rude and presumputous.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/17/2009 6:08:45 PM

LadySweetOrSour

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In an initial email, I prefer they simply use my sceen name (Dear/Good evening/morning Lady Sweet or Sour). If they just type hello Miss/Mistress (blah!!), I assume it is a form letter they sent to every female on here. As I sign my return email Lady Angela Rose, they should then use that as the greeting in follow up emails.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/17/2009 6:44:48 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

To properly address a D type,

Speaking of forms of address, could someone explain "D type" to me? I understand "s type" -- submissive or slave, and maybe we even throw in slut or whatever. But "D type" seems like a goofy egalitarianism: well, the s's get their own type, so the D's do too. Okay, there's Dom... and there's, uh, Dom. "Come here girl, and do what I say, because I'm D'master!" WTF?

Edited to avoid joining Panda in untimely demise: I am using Dom to mean either male or female dominant.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 5/17/2009 6:46:04 PM >

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/17/2009 7:05:19 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

To properly address a D type,

Speaking of forms of address, could someone explain "D type" to me? I understand "s type" -- submissive or slave, and maybe we even throw in slut or whatever. But "D type" seems like a goofy egalitarianism: well, the s's get their own type, so the D's do too. Okay, there's Dom... and there's, uh, Dom. "Come here girl, and do what I say, because I'm D'master!" WTF?

Edited to avoid joining Panda in untimely demise: I am using Dom to mean either male or female dominant.

To help with preference between those who prefer Dom or Domme.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/17/2009 7:22:13 PM

MistressBri2009

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Personally I dont like when someone starts with "mistress" even if my name does state it. This term is only after consent from both parties. Hello works for me.

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/17/2009 7:23:45 PM

DesFIP

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Bri, do you state this in your profile? Because if not how are they to know what to call you?

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RE: How to Properly Address a Dominant - 5/17/2009 7:24:49 PM

lronitulstahp