RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy

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RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy - 5/22/2009 9:31:02 AM

LadyHibiscus

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"New Wave"? Do I need a special haircut for that, or what?

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RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy - 5/22/2009 9:35:28 AM

ShaktiSama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

"New Wave"? Do I need a special haircut for that, or what?

How about if we just fire up the old Police tapes and call it even.

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RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy - 5/22/2009 9:36:52 AM

LadyPact

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I've heard the 'new wave' comment before. It's related to anything to do with online D/s. There absolutely are folks out there who avoid sites like this like the plague. To My knowledge, it's not how it may be seeming to appear. That new wave is somehow opposite to old guard or leather. My understanding of this could be wrong, so please feel free to correct Me.

The electronic revolution aside, the term sub frenzy has been around for some time.

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RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy - 5/22/2009 12:22:11 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kestel

Shakti is dead on. Sub-frenzy is very real. "Sub-frenzy" is more than just very deep sub space. The later can be enjoyed while reamaining in control enough to avoid overly destrcutive behaviors. In my experience, "online" sub-frenzy is typically the result of self imposed chastity or simply not having had a release for several days, and an over abundance of time spent online at Femdom sites and chatting with Dommes. A very very real manisfestation of sub-frenzy is the loss of money and or personal information to an accomlished "financial domme." Of course the sub must have proclivities toward financial domination (i.e, leanings towards being a "pay pig") but if he does, look out. I think the more accomplished fin Dommes have a very keen eye for subs in a sub frenzy and some of them are quite adept at pushing the sub to that point. Indeed their sites, clips4sale , youtube vids etc are structured to create sub frenzy and/or lure those in that are already in a sub frenzy.

This post was called to my attention... I had completely whipped right over it and until I read it... had no idea about what it said.

kestel, you are talking from a personal place and are confusing a few things. One would be sub space and sub frenzy and I believe maybe what may prompt sub frenzy. Sub space and sub frenzy are different. Sub space isn't really induced by the person, although they may have some part to play in it emotionally, it is basically something being done to them in a physical sense that brings them to sub space. (I am not an expert on sub space, this is just how I see it and this is not from the dominant stand with their spaces lol) Sub frenzy is in my opinion, self induced. Whether that be sexual addiction, relationship addiction, desires, lack of fulfillment, personality, hungering to quickly get into things they want or whatever... it is brought on by the person experiencing it.

What I read in your post is that you like your take on sub frenzy or are thinking you are in it because of things you said about how you function. Your post was very reviling! You are very involved in online kinky or sexual things and use pro's or pay sites or freebie sites to be drawn into giving up your hard, cold cash to get your kink on. I am not sure I would call that sub frenzy. I would more call this kink and what pushes your buttons and getting some fulfillment.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 5/22/2009 12:57:18 PM >

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RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy - 5/23/2009 9:23:37 AM

hereyesruponyou

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I think it's difficult to delineate between sub-frenzy and someone who just thrives on that rush that comes with every new encounter (infatuation). My pet was someone who gave me way to much information and access to his life much too quickly. Was willing to not only meet somewhere private but, be vulnerable waiting for me. While this can be a bit flattering, it's very dangerous, especially since we had "known" each other on line less than a month. It took no time before this relationship was taking time away from his family and impacting his daily life. His obsession with having to have very frequent contact (im, text, phone) was fun, at first. When we created a contract he specifically asked to not be able to break it because his history was to always be looking for the next fix. And within 6 months he went from considering leaving his family to be with me, even though he knew i would not be exclusive to him, to i love you but.... As it's not in my nature to keep anyone against their will, i released him. And within less than a week he found another "perfect person" for him and was again getting wrapped up in his fantasies about what could be.

Here is where this relates to the thread. Is this someone who is addicted to a type of sub-frenzy...or just someone who needs the rush of infatuation all the time? I admit that on the rare occaision someone gets to the point i am excited about the contact/relationship, i also thrive on that part, but i can't say i am in a frenzied state as i know it will not last and just want to enjoy those sensations while they are there. I'm not so sure with the pet this is the case. I think he truly gets caught up in the moment and loses all sense of good judgement. To me this is a more frenzied reaction...

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RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy - 5/23/2009 3:25:20 PM

ShaktiSama

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This thread is probably a good opportunity to kick these ideas around a bit. I have a clear sense that subfrenzy is distinguished somehow from other types of emotional manias that are apparent in both vanilla and kinky people. In absolutely no order of importance, here are some distinctions that I would make:

1. Unlike other types of relationship manias, subfrenzy does not have a reference point in the rest of your vanilla social life--the world that includes your vanilla parents and family, your vanilla friends and people from work, and your peer group. Subfrenzy has nothing to do with the pressure to pair up in order to fit in. It is not caused by the awkwardness of worry about being single when all your friends are married/partnered. Your mother does not call you every weekend to nag you about whether you have found a D/S partner: "When are you going to find a nice dom to beat your ass and rape me up some grandchildren?"

By contrast, a lot of the drive to have-a-partner-at-all-costs in vanilla life is not motivated by deeply personal needs or sexual desires. It's about social status, and how your identity is constructed around having a partner.

2. Subfrenzy is not about being lonely, having no one to talk to, having no one to spend your time with, or even having no one to have sex with. This is a state which a person with an otherwise happy vanilla marriage can get into, even if all his/her other emotional and physical needs are being met. The need to submit/dominate or experience/inflict pain can be blended very effectively with those other other needs, to be sure, and many people are looking for the Whole Package in a partner. But they can be separated, and subfrenzy is not motivated by loneliness or desperation for human contact per se.

3. Subfrenzy is not automatically connected to your ego and your sense of self-worth. In fact, it's often just the opposite; the need to experience bdsm will actually override and trump the limits that your ego and your sense of self-worth would place on your interaction with others. Many other more common sex/relationship manias are motivated by a need to overcome a sense of emptiness or worthlessness; the acquisition or conquest of another person is seen as an antidote to that emptiness. A lot of dangerous erotomaniacs (stalkers), for example, fixate on their victims because they see qualities in this person that they admire. The mania that they suffer is based in the desire to transfer the worth of the victim to themselves.

Subfrenzy, by contrast, is often denoted by a lowering of normal standards. It drives the victim to endure treatment that would normally be unacceptable and tolerate qualities in a partner which would normally be very undesirable, simply for the sake of satisfying the bdsm need.

< Message edited by ShaktiSama -- 5/23/2009 3:26:03 PM >

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RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy - 5/24/2009 7:55:33 AM

MzticStormz

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Pup, Something I feel strongly about you have hit upon and that is - If the person that you are dealing with when it comes to this lifestyle uses a lot of all inclusive words such as; All, none, never, always, or when a person is so close minded that they don't consider different concepts, seek ways of learning and expanding what they are doing, then RUN, not walk, Run the other way. It may be an old guard way of thinking, but this lifestyle is about learning and expanding the person that you are. The choice is yours until you choose differently. Just because someone chooses to close their eyes to something doesn’t mean that it isn’t there to explore, it just means that they have made their choice.

The fact that she laughed instead of investigating your question is a red flag to me. The fact that she forwarded your question to friends so that they could laugh is an even bigger red flag. I know that this is something some will disagree with me on, but if this “New wave” means there is only their way of doing things - not educating themselves, not seeking ways to expand their knowledge - then give me old wave any day. Be careful pup and be sure of your steps you take when it comes to this “New wave” if this is the direction you choose to go.

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RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy - 5/27/2009 9:14:25 AM

PainPup2

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@MzticStormz: yes you are right in your assessment of the Domme in question. She is very closed-minded about trying to learn new things and expanding Her knowledge in the lifestyle. She claims to be an expert at everything life has to offer from 3rd degree Martial arts expert and owner of a Martial arts busisness to a owner of a giant construction Company in Florida whose existence one cannot find in any business archives in Florida. Her Grandfather being a siscilian Mafiaosa Boss in Italy. Owner of several adult stores in St.Louis and a Hugh pleasure Resort in Reed Springs ,Mo. Oh and did i add that she was a multi-millionare as well 5 times over and ownered several 40,000 sq.ft home in St.Louis and Florida and a mansion in Italy where Her Highly educated master Musician/ Docter Son lives in now. Oh., and lets not forget that she was a Pro-Domme for 25 years and was a slave to Master Len the one person that He never got to break and that She made some BDSM porn but one cannot find anywhere. Need i go on here? you get the picture .Everything i just stated is true as was told to me by Her. She could talk the talk but could not walk the walk Walk away hell i ran away as fast as i could. i put up with those lies for several months, it came to a abrupt end last week when we was supposed to meet for first time, and lo and behold another excuse Her live-in son had a burst appendix and was in Depare Hospital and when i called to check on his condition they never heard of his name nor had anybody admitted there in past week or longer with a burst appendix , so She flat out lied to me, so i said Bye Bye...wouldn't You or any body else?

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