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Patience? - 5/18/2009 7:35:51 AM

athenasowl

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/14/2009
Status: offline

I'm confused... and a bit frustrated to be honest.

I'm very shy, very honest and moving my way around the site very slowly.
Here is the situation
I tend to read through emails i receive here on CM before i go to work/out and about. I save the ones that give me a good feeling or seem genuine, etc, then i save them and go about my day.

I did this recently and was not able to get back onto the site until the next afternoon.
I got in, ready to re-read and reply to the emails. At least three of them were angry emails; saying "They knew i had read their message and what? am i scared? a fake? Gee, I thought you were actually someone real, i thought you were actually gonna work out, guess not, guess you're a little fake like all the others"....

I was taken completely aback... these were not men with little to nothing in their profile either... one of them especially seemed very well educated, intelligent and experienced. He had a pic. And I am a fake because I'm not on CM all day long? because it took me One Day to try and answer?

So of course, i didn't reply to That email... i didn't feel i had to explain myself, and honestly didn't know what to say to such an unkind email....

His next reply? "Fuck you too, bitch".

:*(
Is it me? yes im shy, yes i like to think about Your message before i answer... why is that so bad? why am i expected to move so fast?

Post #: 1

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 7:44:23 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

People who talk to you like that via emails here lass, should in my opinion, be blocked and their foul messages deleted then forgotten about. I often pop in read messages and reply when i have the time or have taken time to think about my reply. Patience is a virtue it is written and one that I subscribe to. With those I like or care about or in whom I have shown interest in, I have the patience of Job, others I have patience but not endlessly so. 'Tis sad thay you have experienced there misguided folk but take heart in that most of us experience them from time to time.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to athenasowl)

Post #: 2

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 7:46:33 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Too often idiots like that are the ones who are fakes and not you. Sounds like you done the right thing by not replying back as it seems it would be a waste of time on your part! It is good to think things through before acting upon them and if people can't understand that then are they really worth wanting to know?

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to athenasowl)

Post #: 3

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 7:54:11 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

When I send out an email to someone I don't know, I expect to get a reply maybe 10% of the time. The others may be due to someone not feeling we're compatible, maybe they left the site... who knows? They do not OWE me a reply. If I get one, great.

You're speaking with whiners who not only think you owe them a reply, but within a certain time frame which they never told you about.

So you already know that they feel entitled, have a temper, and want you to follow rules they never told you about.

If you connected with them, it would get worse. Now is when they're wooing you.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 4

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 8:36:39 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Athena I wouldn't worry about it. Look at the bright side, with that sort of behaviour you know right off the bat they are not the one for you. Just delete and move on.

Not long ago, I had a person get angry with me because I did not call when they wanted me to. Even though I had called when I promised I would. They just didn't seem to understand that work, family, animal care, etc. takes precedence over a strange person that contacted me via the internet. She wrote me a vile email calling me a fake, telling me I was the slave to my family, work and animals, yada yada yada.... And while she has blocked me from replying, continues to send a zinger now and then.

That told me everything I needed to know about her....... not for me!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to athenasowl)

Post #: 5

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 8:48:45 AM

curiousINct

Posts: 85
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline

It's like they are weeding themselves out, saving you the time and trouble of getting to know them before realizing they are idiots.

this made me giggle....

quote:

ORIGINAL: athenasowl

Gee, I thought you were actually someone real, i thought you were actually gonna work out, guess not, guess you're a little fake like all the others"....

based on the font you selected for your profile? if only it was that easy...

(in reply to athenasowl)

Post #: 6

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 8:56:56 AM

athenasowl

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/14/2009
Status: offline

even just these 5 replies have made me feel so much better... I'm not crazy, how lovely :)

(in reply to curiousINct)

Post #: 7

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 9:04:29 AM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

People are desperate and impatient, and seeing that kind of behavior in that stage of the game tells me a lot about a person, and none of it would be positive.

Having said that, if I receive a nice email from someone who interests me, and don't have the time to write back, I'll respond telling them that I want to answer them at length and will do so later on or tomorrow (or whatever) when I have the time to sit down and really give a good reply. I find that it's very much appreciated, and often receive a "thank you" for having the consideration to let them know.

I'm not saying you owe this to anyone, I'm just saying it has worked nicely for me in the past and they're always pleasantly suprised and very appreciative of the gesture.

(in reply to athenasowl)

Post #: 8

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 9:10:04 AM

athenasowl

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/14/2009
Status: offline

definitely something to consider that i hadn't. thanks Marie2 :)

(in reply to marie2)

Post #: 9

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 9:31:00 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Just look at it this way. They've shown what they really are and now you don't have to be bothered with them any longer.

(in reply to athenasowl)

Post #: 10

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 9:49:46 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

Hi Athena,

can nothing add to it really as everything has been said already from the bear and the steveguy and the others...am really surprised about such replies as I never received any of those and am on here since december 2007 (had other profiles before the current one) so you seem to have really stumbled over quite a few dumb folks...as others mentioned it is obviously better for you you found out straight away that it is not worth being bothered about them when they behave like that. I often don't have the time to reply straight away and do it WHEN i am able to do it...suggestions to reply later I usually only do with people I am connected with and not someone who just contacted me as at that stage I don't need to apologise or justify a delay...I reply when I can and either they can cope with it or not. If not, then I would just think "go and get your own life sorted before trying to come into mine!"

Also be glad they show their impatience now, as once I was about to fly to canada to meet someone who changed his mind 3 weeks after I booked the ticket as he decided to meet someone else as he has not had the patience to wait for 3 weeks longer until we would have met as he expected that other girl to be that much more convenient for him as he did not like the fact that I still have to stay for quite a while in the UK due to my studies... did his impatience bring him any further? Nope, it did not as he tried to meet again after his "very convenient available girl did not work out". He had offered to come over to here as he knew I won't waste one single penny more onto him with booking another flight to him after wasting 200 dollar/100 pound on the cancellation fee, but after giving some thought I did let him know that his game is over with me. The trust was gone and seriously, would I wanna "serve" someone who treated me with such disrespect before already, just because of his desperate impatience??? Surely not. He had his chance and he had proofen that he is not worth my attention and so despite loosing out that money (which is a pain particular when you are a bit tight financially as a student) I am glad that I was never in the situation that he would have control over me when I might be tied up or whatever...because when he does not have that patience for the upcoming flight...how much patience is he going to have in "real life situations?" Nope, thank you very much, not interested.

Take your time and your slow speed as you mentioned it, thats absolutely ok. I am currently involved with someone whom I sometimes name "snailspeed" but even when he takes a huge amount of time....on a personal level he seems to be worth it as we had a great weekend and he did show much more respect towards me then I am used to receive from guys. So taking time...is absolutely fine as neither s nor D has to rush in any way. Good luck

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 5/18/2009 9:57:49 AM >

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 11

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 10:07:28 AM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

welcome to the CM forums athenasowl.

don't sweat the small stuff. this is certainly small stuff in the big picture of CM and even smaller stuff in your every day to day life.

when i first got to CM, the first few weeks were kinda rough email wise. impatient, demanding, impolite, silly, time wasting men were abundant. hang around the forums, make friends, read profiles (some very cool men aren't vocal on the forums) don't be afraid to write to those that pique your interest and most of all enjoy your time here.

may we all find our bliss.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.

(in reply to athenasowl)

Post #: 12

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 10:52:09 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Athenasowl

I am sorry to tell you this but
.
.
.
.
.
.
You have been trolled

.
.
.
.
.
The best remedy for this is to slap a

on your face,

,

at the trolls...and just get on with the process of actually living.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to athenasowl)

Post #: 13

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 11:03:22 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Personally I think you should send those three guys a thank you note for helping you to weed out some of the losers so promptly. I mean seriously, wouldn't it be great if when you went to [insert hot local singles spot here] all the male idiots wore red tshirt with the word "LOSER" written on it? That's kind of what happened here if you've described it accurately.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to athenasowl)

Post #: 14

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 11:07:15 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

owl,

Others have already given you excellent answers. I'd only add that a man who has so little patience, a man who feels so insecure about his "manhood" that he needs to throw it at people so defensively, is neither ready nor willing to master himself, and has no business attempting to master you.

Shrug, ignore, block and move on.

Best wishes to you.

(in reply to athenasowl)

Post #: 15

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 11:35:13 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: everhope
(some very cool men aren't vocal on the forums)

very true...my current involvement I mentioned is not on the boards at all....and we are only in touch as I contacted him in german because I had seen that he had a look at my profile and I assumed that he would be german as his profile shows that he is in germany...so I did sent him a greeting in german....only to get a reply that he needed a dictionary for it as he is not german, he is american instead but living in germany *lol* Also when I have been in touch with him we were only in touch on a casual level as during that time I was about to meet someone else and not looking for anyone else....only once that did not work out THEN that guy suggested to get to know each other a bit more...so we took it very slowly, considering we are in touch with each other already since november

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to everhope)

Post #: 16

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 11:55:08 AM

hopeful68

Posts: 77
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline

unfortunately on this site.. there are a lot people just here to use and abuse..

"PLAYA'S".. lol

LOSERS.. hehe..

DIPSHIT's.. oh..

.. did I say that.. ??

(in reply to athenasowl)

Post #: 17

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 11:58:08 AM

hopeful68

Posts: 77
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline

delete.. block.. move on.. OH.. and my mentor/trainer/Dom.. always.. always.. wanted me to fuck with this type of person.. play up to them.. really get them hooked and then tell them to FO..

.. hehe I did that a couple times till I just took this to heart.. delete.. block.. move on..

(in reply to hopeful68)

Post #: 18

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 4:37:04 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Block and delete.
Beyond that, put a different slant on it. Be glad they showed their true colors this early. Be glad they didn't hide their lack of self control until after they got you naked and restrained. Because you might not walk away from that scenario.

The ones who you do reply to, who say "no problem, I know what crazy days and weeks are like" are the ones you do want to keep talking to.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to hopeful68)

Post #: 19

RE: Patience? - 5/18/2009 4:39:16 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Personally I think you should send those three guys a thank you note for helping you to weed out some of the losers so promptly. I mean seriously, wouldn't it be great if when you went to [insert hot local singles spot here] all the male idiots wore red tshirt with the word "LOSER" written on it? That's kind of what happened here if you've described it accurately.

I disagree. I believe that those clowns would be disasters if they ever did hook up with submissives, and could hurt them. I honestly think that it is our responsibility to NOT teach them to market themselves better.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 20

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