Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check)


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/18/2009 8:22:13 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		We get a lot of CD/TS fantasy posts on this forum.  We all know the story and the - "do me", "unrealistic", "The Wheel of Dommely Delights", and the "Ugh! The work that would take!" - reactions we all tend to have.

So this is another in Otter's ongoing series of "Postive Posts" about my experience as a femme boy in service to a dominant Lady.  Not trying to change anyone's preference on CD/TS/TG subs, but I do want to post my experiences so that the dominant Ladies here have a point of positive reference, and so some of the boys "of -my- kind" might read and enjoy or learn from my experience...

Being girly is beyond fun...

So my Lady and I have been together now for nearly 10 months.  In that time, I have become immensely more comfortable with my girly side...so much so that it is worth noting that I am experiencing a significant drop in that "need" to crossdress, and the sensation  of "starvation" that so many of the people like me have reported feeling.  It is becoming just part of the day-to-day existance as a submissive male.  I have a growing wardrobe of girly clothing, my toes are always painted, I wear girl underwear most days, both my ears are pierced...and I have grown my hair out to my shoulders, and shave my body below the eyebrows...many times, I have worn eyeliner and brown mascara out of doors - just enough to make my eyes stand out a bit, but not enough so that anyone particularly notices...I have been out dressed in public twice now and have a growing circle of kinky T-girl friends. 

Most days, I am smooth, and soft...but I am still strong. 

My Lady is incredibly accepting of my girl side, and encourages me.  We have spa nights where we paint nails and take baths and pluck eyebrows and do girly things.  I am incredibly fortunate to have someone who loves my kink and is someone in whom I have so many things to love other than just her accepting my kink....she is amazing...

And my life has become amazing...so much of this wonderful girl stuff is becoming integrated into -who I am- and helping to make me a balanced and healthy person who is comfortable in their skin.

But all this girly stuff...is just part of what being a part of a D/s couple is all about...there is also -service-...

This morning, we got up at 5:45...while my Lady showered, I ironed her uniform for work (she is in healthcare), prepared her morning tea, then combed out her hair.  While she dressed, I laid out her things, cooked her an egg, prepared her a lunch, and saw her off to work.  

Today also I will do some laundry, clean the kitchen, take the dogs out, water gardens, pick up things at the store, and prepare dinner (it's my day off, YAYS!).  I also have my own home, and a wife to attend to, and so I will spend part of my day there as well. 

So much of all this is vanilla living and maintaining your life and the lives of those you love...

This morning I wore a pair of pink panties, and a short mid-thigh satin robe...I mention that because I did not think once about my attire this morning...I chose it, dressed myself in it...it is becoming just part of who I am and it feels "right" to me.  I wasn't "forced"...I chose this life.

And what about -Play-?  Does she force you to dress all girly and stuff? Huh?!

No.  I dress myself and have a growing appreciation for what is "appropriate" to wear and when. 

For instance, I now -understand on a cellular level- that four inch heels worn with feet apart while you are strapped onto a cross will hurt you more than almost anything your Lady will do to you....fucking ouch...

When we play, she will sometimes encourage me to dress, other times will let me decide.  What I am wearing has little to do with how we play. In fact, the clothing can be a barrier to it all (see above...fucking ouch!). 

Besides, it is not about me and my pretty clothes...our play is about sensation, and edges, and connection....

It's a relationship...

Yep...all the pretty clothes...all the fantasies - and yes, I have them too - come down to this one simple fact. 

No matter what, unless you are visiting a pro, you are gonna be in a relationship..with a real girl.  And a dominant girl at that...it's not about us...She passed through by age 15 most of what we girly-boys feel today at age 45.  

I really worked hard with multiple counselors to put all this girly stuff into some perspective so it did not overwhelm the other aspects of my life well before I came to kink and I am profoundly glad I did.   Not saying I have it all right and down, but it is not blowing the top of my head off and that was a key factor - not only in my Lady's ability to perceive and accept my girl side, but in my ability to see that it is NOT about my pretty pretty princess fantasies, but about a real realtionship with D/s at its core. 

So nine months on...

I have not once been "forced" to dress in anything...I have not served as a sissy maid...I have not been paraded or humiliated...not fucked up the ass with my poofy skirt pushed up over my head...have never been to a beauty salon for any "forced" beauty treatments...and the CD fantasy list goes on and on...

I have been in a wonderful relationship with a Lady who loves me for who I am.  Who lets me be my complete self...in service to Her...and that, is all that I need to be sensationally happy. 

Thanks for reading all this. 


_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/18/2009 8:32:34 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I'm really happy that you are finding it so fulfilling!

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/18/2009 9:06:27 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		So nine months on...
 
That almost begs for a joke about a maternity dress

But seriously, Otters:  Thank you for offering an insight into what's always seemed to me be a strong, human, loving and altogether excellent relationship.  Now turn that nine months into nine years and earn yourself . . . a wood, silver, gold collar?   

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/18/2009 9:12:55 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Dude.  You get up at 5:45??  Hats off to ya! 

Oh, and your post rocks, too...  but getting up at the ass crack of dawn?  That's DEDICATION.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/19/2009 12:38:16 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		sweet darling omnipod..
HOW wonderful !!!

GQ

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/19/2009 6:05:05 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you all for the replies. 

I think that when we finally get something that we have always wanted, it is almost always different from how we have fantasized about it.

Ya know PforH, you brought up collars, and I wanted to share these amazing collars with folks who read here.  They are very girly, but totally fubu... 
http://devilsvenus.deviantart.com/
Just click on "Browse Gallery" on the bottom of all the pics to see her entire line. 

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/19/2009 7:33:23 AM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		Wow!  What a fantastic story!  I am very jealous.  Thanks for painting such a rich and wonderful picture.  There are pieces that seem like you just pulled them out of my heart and mind.  Enjoy.

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/21/2009 10:30:26 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Oh.  They're really girly, aren't they?  Hmm.  There's a rope-like one that's good, though.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/21/2009 10:35:46 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Oh.  They're really girly, aren't they?  Hmm.  There's a rope-like one that's good, though.


Yea, and they need closures that lock...but they would be nice dress collars. 


_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/21/2009 11:02:59 AM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		Those collars are cute, but much too girly even for my tas--

Oooooh, bells... :-D

DV's Fox.

:-p

< Message edited by VampiresLair -- 5/21/2009 11:16:15 AM >

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/21/2009 11:11:46 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		are you keeping a journal..photos..???
this could be a great book..
GQ

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/21/2009 11:38:45 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		 Otter!  So does your Mistress!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/21/2009 2:01:48 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Has it really been nine months already, Otters?  I'm sure it seems like it's flying by for you.

As you know, CD isn't My preferred kink, but I very much enjoy reading these posts that you put up from time to time.  The reality is always better than the fantasy, in My opinion.  After all, fantasies are just things you dream up on your own.  Reality is the dream you share.

My best to you and your Lady.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/21/2009 3:16:19 PM   
SthrnCom4t


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		OFF Topic - Wish I had more time to read, comment and post, but thank you all for the supportive comments. :)


_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/21/2009 3:37:38 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you for the example you show.

[And excellent tag line, by the way.  I support the sentiment more strongly than I can say.]

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to SthrnCom4t)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/21/2009 3:57:52 PM   
LovingMistress45


Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline 		Otters,

Your post is wonderful and I am glad you have found such happiness.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/21/2009 4:29:23 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks to you all for your wonderful replies - even Camela (nice tummy).  I know that a lot of you have relationships in your lives that are just as wonderful and fulfilling and I hope you will also share! 

Sometimes this site gets bogged down in the fantasy of the deluded, and the difficulty of the search of the sincere.  It is easy to get discouraged, jaded, and cynical  when faced with the titanic wall of junk that comes through CM.

But for all that, we are a community here and I think a pretty damn awesome one! 


_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/21/2009 4:41:40 PM   
JuliaGreenleaf


Posts: 66
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline 		It's wonderful to see someone who isn't true transsexual living as a woman :)
I took a strangely different path. I always knew i was a submissive. I transitioned very, very young, and have lived as a woman for a long time. For years, I didn't really understand what being submissive meant - i mostly surpressed it and was a feminist valueswise. I was the often unnoticed 'plain Jane' trans girl, somewhat too scared to look good because she had over ingrained into herself the 'neccissary' rules for dulling down her looks so people would think she was female and not look twice. Surely i did one or two submissive things with my boyfriend, but i was always too embarrassed not having a vagina to seriously seek a kinky relationship.
My life in kink so far has been a bit strange. People usually can't believe i'm trans, until i tell them, and then if they are silly they use any excuse to try and 'remaleify' me and treat me badly. I have thankfully found people who do accept me. I find i am drifting towards the true bond of service and surrender...
As for doing my nails - i tend to just do that myself :) I use expensive clear nail polish, that can chip off during the working girls' week and not be noticed. I long ago learnt the neccissary alloy of feminine and practical..
but i seem to be slowly throwing out my completely flat practical shoes as they wear out and replacing them with heels :)
Funny in the end - i'm a submissive woman :)

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) - 5/23/2009 12:09:22 PM   
SthrnCom4t


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		Weekend company had to cancel...so the bathroom mirror cleaning and other 'chores' can wait one more day....which means I'm finally getting a chance to catch up on some CM posts! Yay!

What struck me after going down this list of posts, was this, "Is cross-dressing really that complex, or is it inherently simple?"

LP mentioned that CD isn't her kink....the reality is, it isn't really mine either. In the 9 months I've been with Otter, I've really begun to think of his sexuality as a third gender. I think someone on another post has the same concept. I am just into him as a person. He has a girlie side...YAY! It means I get my nails done much more frequently and for free. He's attentive, loving, emotionally grounded, and truly puts the desires of Me first, without compromising himself. Is he perfect? No. But neither am I.

Our relationship is not based on kink....we just happen to be complimentary in our desires. I'm not an overly 'girlie' girl. Pink is not my favorite color, although I'm not opposed to it. I have some fetish wear, but I don't go clothes shopping on a regular basis. Same with shoes...I have some cute ones, but not 100 pair.

I love Otter because of the person he is. If we're sitting on the couch, I'm the one in the old t-shirt and sweats....he has the flowing skirt, and/or silk nightie. But he still has the remote control closest to him. Creating a safe space and accepting environment is easy, when you have someone loving, attentive, (see above).

Does he look at himself in the mirror multiple times when he's dressed as a girl? Yes! Is it because he's vain....no, I don't think so. It's because his inner expression is being honored. I find it amusing, a bit silly, and sometimes a bit sad. Sad because, why shouldn't he ALWAYS be able to be himself, all the time, everywhere?

Back to kink....does a crop in hand instantly make me wet? No. Do silk panties make him a throbbing sex toy? No. It's not the clothes, or the toys....its the chemistry between the people.

Do I buy him girlie things? Sure....a new shade of nail polish or a skirt from the repeat boutique gives him great pleasure. Does he stay up past 11pm, humoring me while I'm transplanting plants....yes, he does. (And then gets up at 5:45am and makes my tea and combs my hair!)

There really isn't a trick to this...we both try to create an environment, in which the other can feel completely loved, respected, and accepted. I honor my submissive, as he honors me.

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

(in reply to JuliaGreenleaf)
Profile   Post #: 19
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094