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ORIGINAL: leadership527

*smiles and waves at Des*

Hiya Des! Yeah, I pretty much agree with everything you've said (big surprise there *laughs*). I'm particularly interested in how your view on decision making and Carol's is so similar. To put a finer point on it, I think of Carol like this...

Carol has no problem making sensible, well thought out decisions, unless those decisions pit her needs against someone elses. In that case, she frequently struggles and comes out with sub-optimal answers mostly because she's not willing to consider herself on equal footing with me. So in truth, it's really only one kind of decision that she struggles with. But that sort of question comes up regularly within a marriage so it's an issue.

I also concur with your last paragraph. As I read that I thought to myself that that was a cornerstone for why it wasn't hard for me to talk about this to my vanilla friends. Because honestly, they've seen little that would concern them. Sure, the collar's a bit freaky as is the leash. But down at the meat and potatoes layer where stuff matters, it is clear that we have a vibrant, mutually healthy relationship and so it's hard to get all up in arms about it.