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Lockit -> Pretty words = Red flag? (5/18/2009 9:37:20 AM)
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I remember hearing guys in school tell one another that if they wanted to get a girl into bed, to tell her she was pretty, sexy (whatever) and that they loved her. The magic words to get her to think what she needed to think to get somewhere with her.
We’ve all gotten emails from people who never read our profile saying how they loved our profile or how they had a lot in common with us and even that they love our beautiful pictures. Almost every player/scammer email has a compliment or two in it. Then, there are men who take the time to get to know us somehow and their words are flowery and come often. Saying what they think we want to hear. Some will actually use wanting a long term relationship and how they too want this and yet the only thing they really want is to get a quick route to what they want whether that is kink or sex or both.
Now women do tend to like sincere compliments, but I tend to see a compliment or what I term, pretty words and a red flag goes up because pretty words mean nothing without back up and I hear so many pretty words. I have even said in my profile throughout most my profile changes… Don’t think that with pretty words, I will fall into bed after spanking your ass. And… Pretty words mean nothing until you put something behind them.
To me, pretty words are a red flag. Rather than say something deep about something insightful I say or respond to something I have said somewhere… the pretty words are sprinkled like magic sugar and it seems I am to fall right into place, a simpering fool for a compliment and manipulated into whatever it is the speaker wants.
I watch carefully how pretty words are used. I will gracefully take some compliments or pretty words if I do think they are true… like I am smart and if they say I am intelligent, I know it is true so okay… I am still listening… but will you lose me in your next sentence? lol
Do submissive’s emailing you here, using pretty words and compliments get the red flag waving in front of you? Are you like me and test those pretty words? Do you see men promising the moon, the stars and whatever it is you say you want in your profile who really don’t mean the words and use them as a manipulation? Is seeing pretty words or a compliment as a red flag, in your opinion, too jaded?
I sometimes wish to tell those who are sincere, to wisely consider using compliments and think about how their words might come off because many someone’s before them have used this method to get what they want. A compliment or two may work nicely to some degree, but using them often is going to make you sound like a salesman trying to sell a bill of goods like a con man. I kind of have the attitude of… I know me… I know what I am and what I am not… don’t sell me on me… sell yourself baby!
I mean really… do these pretty words and compliments really work? Before anyone gets anywhere close to me, I have to see some truth behind the pretty words. Can I still be fooled? Sure… there are some smooth sweet talkers… who know how to balance it all… but for the most part; few get passed my pretty words detector.
As a submissive man, most on these boards regularly, I don’t see using pretty words to get somewhere… but if there are any reading that use pretty words or compliments when you contact a dominant… why do you do this? Think about it… and tell us your side of things. Do you see a dominant seeing compliments as a red flag as wrong somehow or ?
What say you? (smile)
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