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What can I do - 5/19/2009 2:20:51 PM   
FireofGoddess


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: offline 		I am a switch.On another site I have a Master.He wants me too wear a dress everyday and heels and makeup/hair done.Well I work and take care of my little girl full time.And now he is like have you done what I told you.And I said no cause I am busy working.Now he says I am in trouble.see with me it's hard for me to give up my control,but with him,it's just too much cause he wants me to do things I am not able to do at this point.How can I deal with this

< Message edited by FireofGoddess -- 5/19/2009 2:56:00 PM >
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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 2:27:07 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Well you could do several things you can tell him this is in no way negotiable, you could walk away from him, you could ask him to negotiate part time.

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 2:28:08 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Maybe ask if you can wear make up and do your hair, and not the heels, and skirts? if it was me and he wouldn't negotiate I'd refuse to agree to his conditions.

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 2:30:42 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Talk to him honestly. Ask him to help you figure out TOGETHER what can realistically can be done in your daily life. Most mature "D" types understand life still goes on and this hopefully will be easily worked out between the 2 of you. Best wishes.

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 2:34:15 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		You could try broomstick skirts over leggings.  That style gives a lot more freedom of movement that might be an acceptible compromise.  You could also try skorts -- shorts with an attached overskirt.  They look like skirts but the freedom of movement is like shorts.  As for the hair and makeup -- how much do you really need?  A little powder, eyeliner, and lip gloss go a long way and take less than five minutes.  Depending on your hairstyle, you might be able to put it up in clips or a bun and it will look more sophisticated without requiring a lot of effort.  Oh, almost forgot...kitten heels are sexy and feel like wearing flats.
 
Or you could just tell him that you don't have time for this and renegotiate so that you only wear a dress and do your hair and makeup when you're going to see him.
 

< Message edited by SylvereApLeanan -- 5/19/2009 2:36:30 PM >

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 2:46:49 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline
quote:

wear a dress everyday and hells


Well, i think you should send this to him lol because it shows that this is deeper than simply mind over matter -- you have some serious freudian slip going on here.

Sorry, i just read this and burst out laughing at it.

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 2:52:24 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

quote:

wear a dress everyday and hells


Well, i think you should send this to him lol because it shows that this is deeper than simply mind over matter -- you have some serious freudian slip going on here.

Sorry, i just read this and burst out laughing at it.

Agreed...heels, hells same diff!


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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 2:57:03 PM   
FireofGoddess


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: offline 		thanks everyone for the help

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 3:05:05 PM   
hopeful68


Posts: 77
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

quote:

wear a dress everyday and hells


Well, i think you should send this to him lol because it shows that this is deeper than simply mind over matter -- you have some serious freudian slip going on here.

Sorry, i just read this and burst out laughing at it.


LOL.. that is too funny.

Now on the serious side.  Whenever I am confronted with a deal breaker, I always say something like, "I need to negotiate".  He should ABSOLUTELY understand that you have challenges.  If he dosnt, then, I question his ability to see things clearly.  This isnt supposed to be, having fun at someone else's expense.  If you have issues that you need addressed, and he wont, I would seriously think about moving on.

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 3:22:39 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Why did you accept these restrictions in the first place?
Because these outfits are not always suitable to daily life. You can't chaperone a school hiking trip in this outfit. You can't muck out a horse stall like this.

Save it for when you see him, assuming you are in a real life relationship. If you aren't, and you haven't even met, then do that immediately. Because you may discover he is 20 years older than he claims, or 200 lbs heavier, or shows up in a minivan with two car seats.

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 3:27:50 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		If he is asking you to do things that you are not prepared to do, or feel you cannot do for whatever reasons, then he is not the appropriate Master for you, or not the appropriate Master at this time.

Master Fire


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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 3:37:32 PM   
oceanwinds


Posts: 530
Status: offline 		If a Dom cannot honor their s'type priorities, especially children needing to be raised, then a major conflict arises.
For the life of me wearing heels would be a hard limit..i fall down in them. Am such a klutz:) Sir though does have  me dressing for work, though i work from home. i can though actually see it as a benefit. Puts me in a work frame, then running around in jammies all day or a robe. I am not sure what He is trying to work with you on, and perhaps there needs to be negotiation on that. Stick to what is your core value and morals, because imo in the end that is the only thing you have left in life. Be responsible for your actions, and those that are minors and need you is part of that core within.

Good luck

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 4:30:35 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		maybe its just me, but, i see a differebce between commanding and mastering.

example:  commanding - wear heels everyday
               mastering - I love to see a woman in heels! such a turn on!

the first example, to me, makes it feel like its something i have to do.  the second... im so digging into the back of my closet!  then again, i guess it also depends on the girl.  if it doesnt work for you to do what he commanded, it doesnt.  explain and lay it back at his feet for a solution you both can work through.  i waitress (when im physically able to work) so heels would be so out of the question.

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 4:36:54 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Heck - its online - tell him your heels are 6", your skirt is 6" and your clevage is down 6", and you put your makeup on with a trowel.

You shouldn't have too much trouble lying to him   -  after all ,your cm profile says you don't have  a master.

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 4:59:44 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		whats on line, kiwi?

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 5:35:33 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FireofGoddess

I am a switch.On another site I have a Master.He wants me too wear a dress everyday and heels and makeup/hair done.Well I work and take care of my little girl full time.And now he is like have you done what I told you.And I said no cause I am busy working.Now he says I am in trouble.see with me it's hard for me to give up my control,but with him,it's just too much cause he wants me to do things I am not able to do at this point.How can I deal with this

Well, if at the age of 32 you still have no figured out how to manage your own life ( and the youngins/work/etc that come with it ); and can't find it in yourself to tell some online dick head what to do with his 'orders'....then no amount of advice here is going to help you.

And, as mentioned...according to your profile, you say that you don't take no shit from anyone....yet, here you are letting some name on a computer tell you what to do....

uh huh...my advice...get a life

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 5:42:16 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

whats on line, kiwi?



Her "relationship" with her master.

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RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 5:50:10 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		ohhhhhhhhhhh ok... lol... its what i thought!  i sorta miss on line relationships.. except for the sex part.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What can I do - 5/19/2009 11:03:47 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Look, you admit you have issues giving up control.  But you apparently are not doing this face to face either.  If this is going to lead to face to face and that is what you want you need to think about it.  Kind of sounds like some dipshit who gets off giving unrealistic orders just for the sake of doing so.  If you were a doctor and he was ordering you to wear a butt plug everyday to work would you do it?  Obviously, your patients would suffer and you wouldn't be able to do your job.  This is online, and he says you are "in trouble".  What's he gonna do?  Give you a spanking on line? 

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RE: What can I do - 5/20/2009 3:27:42 AM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good morning!
Being a mom is really hard, especially if they are little. Sounds like you have only 1 bless your heart, I have 3 within 5 years of each other. If it is an everyday task then it needs to be compromised so that you can get your head around it to do it. Otherwise it is pure failure. Daddy often has me dress up for him...I see him about twice a week. And after taking care of a huge house (3000 sq feet plus grounds, taking care of the UM's and their activities, and various other projects I have-I can really look and feel like a mess. For days even. having Daddy say what I will wear and how to have my nails, hair, etc done, gives me time for me. Even if it is 30 minutes of shower, nails, and hair, man the result feels good. Maybe that is where he is coming from.
  There are ways to dress that way as someone mentioned above...but yo need to talk. Most men have no concept what we do all day. Dresses and skirts may be no problem-I HATE pants so I most always wear dresses (even having a second set of clothes for "round the house chores"in case I have gardening or scrub work.) Heels...kinda a problem if you are not used to it, chasing UM's, or have stairs. Makeup...a little lipstick and foundation?? Nail polish...a good fitting pair of gloves. It can be done but you have to talk and get your heads together and practtice practice practice. Some things can turn into habits that make you feel good.
Good luck!
Love,
Zechriel


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