RE: Uncommunicative submissives

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antipode -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (5/24/2009 11:40:42 AM)
quote: The Man's an engineer by education. He isn't good at writing. That doesn't automatically follow - I am too, and I am a published author and journalist as well, both in technological and non-technological subjects. Anyway. I think part of what happens here is that there are two generations. There is a generation that did not grow up with computing devices - mostly, they will treat email as writing. And then there is a generation that did grow up with computers, and many of those treat any computer communications as conversation. This is a bit analogous to SMS/text messaging, where kids and teens developed, spontaneously, an entirely new English based language, with symbols and stuff, something I think we generally abandoned in 548. I see the same development in any kind of messaging, be it IM, email, or Facebook-style stuff. I take this into account when I mail with somebody, because it can lead to huge misunderstandings. I have a friend in her twenties who, because she grew up in the Eastern Bloc, treats messaging as writing, she had never used a computer until the wall came down. Another friend adopted the conversational style, because she did grow up with computers, even though she was born in 1975 - her parents, like me, were developers, and had computers and internet at home and in the office by 1979, as did I. So you gotta play it by ear - umm, eye, I guess.. [;)]

NorthernGent -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (5/28/2009 2:03:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrDaddyFingers Hello all, I just have a quick question here. i am fairly new to all forms of online interaction and was curious... What do you other Masters do when you talk to a submissive online and she seems very interested, but never says more than a sentence or two? No matter how open I am, how many questions I ask, or how much detail I give, nor how interesting or interested in her I am, it never changes. She classifies herself as a slave, and she is younger than me, but seems bright, judging by what little she does say. Any advice from Dommes/Doms or submissives/slaves would be much appreciated. I did do a search, but found nothing useful. Writing down thoughts can be a good idea as some people prefer to learn and comunicate through writing as opposed to talking. Your post doesn't mean she prefers writing however. Truth be told you don't know enough of her to make a judgement call and where you don't: we certainly don't. So you have two logical options: 1) Ask her outright. 2) Watch her in action and listen - what beliefs and values are driving her behaviour. She may be self-aware - where she's not then there's no point asking because she won't know the answer herself. My preference would be to listen to what she says and look for patterns. For example does she appear to be creative and imaginative or she is contained in her thoughts and writing - where the latter then you probably have someone who is more inclined to reflect than share which may answer your question. I suppose the key to success is to understand and compromise.

NorthernGent -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (5/28/2009 2:06:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP The Man's an engineer by education. He isn't good at writing. I suppose it depends on exactly what his preference is. Where he's in a field of engineering that demands ideas theory and concept then I would say that the norm is to prefer to communicate and learn through discussing and talking as opposed to writing.

serisa -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (5/28/2009 3:44:22 PM)
i always find it difficult to know what to say and if the Dom does not ask alot of questions i admit i can run a bit dry at times. However... ask me a lot of questions and i can talk for England... it will just flow for me quite easy. She may not be the same as me, i know that... but could be worth a go.

GreedyTop -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (5/28/2009 10:32:37 PM)
I'm much better at Q&A than the "tell me about yourself" thing. How do I know what you wanna know about me if you dont ask?

penitentialarts -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (5/31/2009 6:05:08 PM)
Meet in person. If the two of you are interested after exchanging some emails, move to a real live meeting at a neutral place. No matter how verbose someone is in email, you will never really know if you are interested in each other until you meet face-to-face. - Jesse

onlyfreelycaged -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (5/31/2009 9:38:32 PM)
There are more then a few ways that can leave me silent.. One is not having enough time so I only get a one line responce off.. The other one is having too much time, So I remove every unneeded word, and what you end up with is an example of wonderful writing.. short, and as complete as possible. But, the most common thing to shut me up is to make me fell stupid. Once that happens, you'll have trouble getting even yes and know answers out of me.

eclipticsubwitch -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (6/1/2009 12:39:09 AM)
This may sound silly but she may not know what to say or how to say it....Many subs view Doms like: Moses coming down the mountain with the 10 commandments. And think it a disrespect to ask anything...but on a lighter note if you tell her to pee she might ask what color[:)]

Delphinus -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (6/1/2009 12:46:45 AM)
quote: Many subs view Doms like: Moses coming down the mountain with the 10 commandments. And think it a disrespect to ask anything... Ick. Don't put me in that category of "many subs." (Is that true?)

Apocalypso -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (6/1/2009 7:24:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady As everyone says, there are dozens upon dozens of reasons why someone might not be very communicative with the written word, the trick is finding out why and moving on from there. Not necessarily. Quite honestly, I totally accept your point that there are a multitude of reasons why someone may not come across that well in a text medium. But, personally, I'm only interested in subs that are good with the written word, so the reasons aren't really that relevant to me. Which is no slur on their character, merely an issue of compatibility. I totally agree with you on "tell me about yourself" however. It's an absolutely hopeless approach.

colouredin -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (6/1/2009 7:37:33 AM)
Ok I have read the posts and have decided to add my bit anyways. I can be really wordy and I can be really not so much, it is not a reflection on my interest but often the types of things the dominants say to me, I have see suggestions from people saying 'ask them to write a letter' or 'ask them to write a resume' or whatever if someone did that to me, i wouldnt do it. See a conversation to me goes a bit like this Person A: Hi, how are you, ive been doing x,y,z and it made me think a,b,c and then I was h,j,k etcetc Person B: Hi oh that sounds interesting, I did x once, it went a bit like this ..... but generally I have been .... But that so often isnt what happens Uberdomlydomdom type: Tell me what you like me: lots of stuff Uberdomlydomdom type: like what me: chocolate etc etc I find that often dominants on here would like to say nothing and get novella like responses. You get what you give imo

GreedyTop -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (6/1/2009 7:41:15 AM)
well said, my colourfulone smooch

QuixoticOtaku -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (6/14/2009 1:20:40 PM)
She replied, "I'm fine"? Sounds like a bot

Aylee -> RE: Uncommunicative submissives (6/14/2009 1:25:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin Uberdomlydomdom type: Tell me what you like me: lots of stuff Uberdomlydomdom type: like what me: chocolate I am SO going to remember this approach! I love it! I hate the "What do you like?" question. I sit there thinking, "In regards to WHAT?"

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