RE: What do you get out of being a submissive man?

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RE: What do you get out of being a submissive man? - 5/27/2009 1:13:46 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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I'd like to point out something that may be being overlooked. Please understand that the idea is a bit nebulous for me and I hope I can explain it well without everyone going off half cocked at Me.

There are times when a man (or woman) discovers that his marriage (for whatever reason) is simply dead. There is maybe affection, and the safety of a comfort zone involved in their staying with the same woman even after the marital feelings have long been extinguished.

I agree that if two people can find their way back to each other, that is the best course. BUT, I suggest that they try to renew communication about anything and everything but this lifestyle FIRST. Build a foundation again before you try to go into new (and frankly terrifying) territory.

The reasons for this is simple:
If the relationship is already on life support, chances are the wife feels it too and is already pondering what to do next. Introducing a topic that might cause a conflict with her faith, feelings of attraction, notions of abuse or mental illness, may cause more damage than can be repaired. IF these topics are addressed without a strong foundation of trust first, things can go downhill VERY fast and there's no way to control all the damage that could result if a divorce still happens. All too often, BDSM becomes a handy scapegoat when a divorce happens, and the kinky party gets blasted by family, friends, business associates and a legal system that neither tolerates or understands us.

I'm not trying to be a fearmonger, but I can see how a person might decide to quietly end a relationship IF THEY KNOW IT IS ALREADY DEAD and then pursue new directions once they are truly free again.

To the OP: You have a lot to think about and My heart goes with you because you don't strike me as the kind of person to just leave with no thought of the consequences... Good luck and be safe if it is possible.

_____________________________

Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.
House of Phoenix

"Nothing is ever final until you're dead - and even then I'm sure God negotiates" Anjelica Huston in Everafter

(in reply to gentlemanprince)

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RE: What do you get out of being a submissive man? - 5/27/2009 2:24:41 PM

jonny12345

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline

Forget about it, your D/s relationship will last until the money runs out, then you'll be sorry.

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RE: What do you get out of being a submissive man? - 5/27/2009 3:32:31 PM

awmslave

Posts: 599
Joined: 3/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

What do you get out of being a submissive man?

I simply am. I do not believe the life is a theater where everybody should constantly act the most beneficial part.

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RE: What do you get out of being a submissive man? - 5/27/2009 3:44:53 PM

gentlemanprince

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jonny12345

Forget about it, your D/s relationship will last until the money runs out, then you'll be sorry.

I'm sorry you feel that way. You must have had some very bad experiences to make you so cynical.

You imply that a Domme will want a sub only - or primarily - for his money and that when the money runs out she will dump him. My lady and I both are employed. She has not asked me for money. If fact, when I visit her, she considers me to be her guest and pays for what we do while I am there. I'm not worried. If I've misjudged her that badly we have more problems than just financial.

But that does raise an interesting question: how do most Domme/sub couples who live together handle finances. If I hasn't been covered already, I think it is worth a thread of its own.

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