RE: Being threatened with being outed

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RE: Being threatened with being outed - 8/19/2004 11:59:00 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
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People like that make me want to reach out and smack them. You have my sympathy cause I really HATE it when someone does that stuff to me.

If you can think of a good way to do it, beat the little jerk at his own game. Tell everyone you're into BDSM but do it in a way that makes you look good. Once you take away his ammo he becomes just another little jerk again.

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RE: Being threatened with being outed - 8/20/2004 12:03:04 AM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyShoshin

I would do what he doesn't expect. My last ex was still married, she in the US & he in Canada. She wanted him to come to the US so she could take him to court & make trouble for him. She knew he is a very private person, so as a threat she said if he didn't do as she said she would air all the marriage dirty laundry in court. He was frantic. I told him to email her back and say "This would bother me because......?" He did & never heard from her again. They are using your own fear as a weapon, disarm them.

Why or how did that work? I feel like I'm missing something.

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RE: Being threatened with being outed - 8/20/2004 4:54:23 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyShoshin

They are using your own fear as a weapon, disarm them.

Sounds like the guy is a republican, probably an extremely conservative one at that.

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RE: Being threatened with being outed - 8/20/2004 5:02:35 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I know two wrongs don't make a right, and all that...

but why not tell the guy if he does that then you'll be forced to admit to the same people that it's all just sour grapes from a lover's quarrel with him?

Might make for a funny turn of events, anyway.

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RE: Being threatened with being outed - 8/20/2004 5:13:39 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Majiktrixs

"Evil to those, who evil thinks"

i agree with Leonidas 'They are message boards, Nobody on them has the power to fire you, or take your kids away, or deny you a place to live.
'What can they do really"?

Having for the last year and a half been the subject of an 'outting' at work I have to say that, while it hasn't taken my job away, nor my kid or my place to live, it has made my work environment significantly more challenging than it needed to be. Please understand that I was never 'in' and never hid it. But since someone else decided the delivery method now you can find my name on industry message boards with nasty remarks and the like (boards that I have NEVER posted to). It took more than six months for some of the people I work with to get over it such that it didn't cause the occasional hiccup in business interactions. It was something I had to expend a good deal of energy to overcome.

I also have never been promoted. Now, I usually wear three hats at work, do things WAY outside my job description that save the company tons of money, and recently got a 'lateral move' job change that now is a supervisory position with financial responsibility. But no promotion.

So, while it's easy to say "what can they do to you?" The real question is "how much energy do you want to expend on it?"

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RE: Being threatened with being outed - 8/20/2004 5:11:35 PM

pixieunleashed

Posts: 105
Joined: 7/11/2004
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Tit for tat doesn't work, not just rarely. My thoughts are "why bother with this blackmail person at all?" They are either going to do it or they are not. If they do, you have the opportunity to respond, if they do not, you are worrying for nothing.

Reporting this nonesense to the police is certainly a route to take, I think in cases such as this they are a waste of time as well. Not only does the perpetrator win, when he/she uses up your time to go report this bit-o-drama, but they also win again, if you have to pay them enough attention to actually take them to court.

Is that person really worth the effort? It also calls into question the reasonings behind reporting things to the authorities as well, Do people call the authorities to stop what is going on, prevent what is going on, or punish the "wrong doers"? The motive behind your actions tell a lot about yourself.

The fact that people like this blackmailing person still exist, is not surprising to me in the slightest. Given the negativity we plug into daily, it is actually a wonder to me there aren't more of them. There is a certain pettyness going on lately that I have been watching in my daily life, as well as online. Last spring the news was telling people how to make sure their neighbors are paying their taxes. My mother always wanting to fry the bastard whenever she hears of a "possible" criminal. The idea that bringing a war upon terrorism is going to stop it. How many times have your or your friends ratted out a co-worker for not following policy and procedure to the "T"? This petty "if you don't do this, or if you do this, I am going to respond this way" behavior is not new, and as it seems is totally alive and well.

My advice is not to respond to this idiot at all. Put him on ignore if that will make it easier and just refuse to play into his hands at all.

thank you for reading this, have a great day,

pixie

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RE: Being threatened with being outed - 8/21/2004 1:42:00 AM

FatherMichael

Posts: 19
Joined: 7/18/2004
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The orginal poster has my support, but not my agreement in taking any action. All any adult can do is live an honest life, be kind when we can, strong when we have to be and fearless when there are no more options. Live with our morals and our opinions in the same hand, let folks who can effect our lives know what is true, then nobody can do anything to us.

if something is embarassing, then its time to gather up the courage to brave the embarassment. Honesty is always the best protection against slime who'd use "Mrs Grundy" to keep us all in line with the rest of the herd.

and when it hurts, get angry, get down-deep mad and be ready for the approaching storm, cuz the anger will help you ride it out, not give into the bigots and the scared-small-minded folks who can only think of things then gargle with holy water.

For what it's worth, ya have my very best hopes it works out and if there is something tangible which can be done name it. Be who you are, you are here for a reason and no reason to change your choices cuz some yahoo likes telling stories.

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