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answering questions - 5/23/2009 9:24:57 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		i have noticed of late there are a few people that will answer a question(post on a thread) just to say the "can't really answer this but, ...."  then go on talking about how that (the thread they are replying to) doesn't really apply to them. So if you say i can't answer because this doesn't apply to you, and just go on to list ...i do this, or master does that.....  what is the real goal? To show what a wonderful "s" type you are? to show what a great "D" type you are? to show what a great relationship you have?....what?....i mean it was already stated "i can't really answer this but, ....."

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 9:36:30 AM   
missturbation


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From: another planet
Status: offline 		Things not applying to someone does not neccesarily equate to them not having an opinion, or experience of said thing in the past. I just see it as them saying that whatever the topic is does not apply to their current relationship but...............
 
What bugs me most about here at the mo is this giving points for answers things. It's getting like kindergarten around here

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 9:40:19 AM   
breatheasone


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Status: offline 		Yeah...i guess i can see your point.....and maybe i am WAY more cynical then you, but i really feel sometimes people are just trying to brag about what a great "s" or "D" type they are. More about tooting ones own horn.

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 9:42:15 AM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

what is the real goal?

I was going to answer this and then I realized it doesn't apply to me...







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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 9:53:12 AM   
Drakontos


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i have noticed of late there are a few people that will answer a question(post on a thread) just to say the "can't really answer this but, ...."  then go on talking about how that (the thread they are replying to) doesn't really apply to them. So if you say i can't answer because this doesn't apply to you, and just go on to list ...i do this, or master does that.....  what is the real goal? To show what a wonderful "s" type you are? to show what a great "D" type you are? to show what a great relationship you have?....what?....i mean it was already stated "i can't really answer this but, ....."

zaphira is fairly certain that your reasoning behind this thread was in regards to the response that this slave left on the saftey thread. Because of that, she will answer the question posted.

zaphira is in no way attempting to prove or show to anyone that she is anything other than what they choose to perceive. If you see her answers as being that of someone who is 'bragging', then who is zaphira to tell you that you are wrong?

This slave does not need the validation of others to prove how wonderful she is, or how great Master may or may not be. zaphira already knows the answers to those questions.

When this slave answers a question; even if she can not relate to it personally; it is because she is attempting to show that there are other areas within life that the same question could apply to. Her answer may not apply to all; it may not apply to any; or it may only apply to one or two others who read the same question and feel the same way that zaphira does.

Either way, the questions still get answered.

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 9:55:21 AM   
oceanwinds


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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i have noticed of late there are a few people that will answer a question(post on a thread) just to say the "can't really answer this but, ...."  then go on talking about how that (the thread they are replying to) doesn't really apply to them. So if you say i can't answer because this doesn't apply to you, and just go on to list ...i do this, or master does that.....  what is the real goal? To show what a wonderful "s" type you are? to show what a great "D" type you are? to show what a great relationship you have?....what?....i mean it was already stated "i can't really answer this but, ....."


I almost went to review my posts to see if i am guilty of "can't really answer this but", because it is something i would do.:)
Why i would do it is to offer another point of view and nothing more. Also, it is a way to find other like minded people who thinks similiar to me. There is no need for me to make another feel less, and is against all i stand for and believe. The reason i watch what i say, and type 95% of the time is to make sure i am not coming off mouthy or rude. It would not do well by me to purposely set out to hurt another's feelings because we walk a different walk, or to push my ideas on them. Anyways that would be my reasons to add to a thread.

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 9:58:36 AM   
breatheasone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

what is the real goal?

I was going to answer this and then I realized it doesn't apply to me...







NICE!....a fellow smart @ss, right-on!


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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 10:03:34 AM   
breatheasone


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Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Thankyou for the answers thus far.
LMAO .... This thread isn't about any one person, just asking in general.  Tried to word it carefully enough that, that assumption wouldn't be made, sorry if i failed.

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 11:07:14 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
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From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i have noticed of late there are a few people that will answer a question(post on a thread) just to say the "can't really answer this but, ...."  then go on talking about how that (the thread they are replying to) doesn't really apply to them. So if you say i can't answer because this doesn't apply to you, and just go on to list ...i do this, or master does that.....  what is the real goal? To show what a wonderful "s" type you are? to show what a great "D" type you are? to show what a great relationship you have?....what?....i mean it was already stated "i can't really answer this but, ....."


I think there is a big difference between "this doesn't apply to my relationship, but..." and "I can't answer this, but..." 

While a question may not apply to someone's relationship, they can still have an opinion or thought on the matter that might have value.  Saying you can't answer the question and then going on to say something off topic....well, who knows why someone might do that.  A couple of reasons I can think of....

They like to say something in every post, or maybe want to increase their "status" from "newbie," "curious," etc. and know that it is based on how many times they post.

It is their way of helping people get to know them.  We've all formed some opinions about folks here based on their responses on the board, good or bad.

Boredom.  Haven't found a thread that really applies to them or they have knowledge of, but they want to be part of the "conversation" anyway.

Could be for the "cynical" reasons you state.  Although I wouldn't be looking for someone to post "yea, that's why I do it, to show how great...." seriously meaning it (because now that I've said it, I'm pretty sure, a bunch will post with "that's me")


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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 11:16:16 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		LafayetteLady thanks for that answer. At the risk of sounding WAY dense i hadn't thought of some of the reasons you listed. BTW, ALL of the reasons you listed are the truth. Truth be told i'm sure i'm guilty of posting for all of the above at one time or another over the past 2 years. Again thanks for the reply.

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 11:27:31 AM   
OsideGirl


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From: United States
Status: offline 		It's impossible to judge someone else's motivation. Especially, someone you don't know posting in the world of ether.

I will say that I'm more likely to take relationship advice from someone that is in a long term successful relationship than from someone whose average relationship lasts three months.

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 11:35:12 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		If I respond to a question, and state that I can't answer the -exact- question given, it is often because I feel that there are aspects of the question that may not have been considered, and, while what I say may be considered irrelevant by some, I've found it to be an important consideration or will help with refining/defining a situation in terms that may help the process. Frankly, I don't give a tinker's damn whether someone here agrees with me, disagrees, or doesn't give two hoots. I don't care if they like me, hate me, or are completely indifferent to my existence. If I offer a response, it is because the question evoked a perspective that I wish to share. If someone doesn't want to hear it, they can skip my posts and more power to 'em. With brutal candor, I can say that I participate here to hear myself talk, and to have the illusion that something that I say might, in fact, be relevant, even if it isn't the -exact- framework of the question under discussion. If I were doing it for the external validation, it would be essentially worthless, since any external validation is rapidly countered with at least as many, if not more, instances of external invalidation.

Frankly, I find it interesting that people feel the need to dissect every aspect of someone else's participation on the boards. This is an exercise in mental masturbation for all of us -- a writing down and displaying of personal thoughts in a public medium. If we, collectively, weren't philosophical voyeurs and attention sluts, I hypothesize that none of us would be here posting... we'd all find something more productive to do with our time.

Dame Calla

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 11:45:03 AM   
breatheasone


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Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

Calla
This is an exercise in mental masturbation for all of us -- a writing down and displaying of personal thoughts in a public medium. If we, collectively, weren't philosophical voyeurs and attention sluts, I hypothesize that none of us would be here posting... we'd all find something more productive to do with our time.


i hadn't thought of it before but this is a very good perception. Its good to hear different views. i love it when i have an "Ahh Haa" moment. Thank you


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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 12:03:07 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

LafayetteLady thanks for that answer. At the risk of sounding WAY dense i hadn't thought of some of the reasons you listed. BTW, ALL of the reasons you listed are the truth. Truth be told i'm sure i'm guilty of posting for all of the above at one time or another over the past 2 years. Again thanks for the reply.


I have never found you to be dense.  I'm surprised you hadn't thought of any of them.  Surely you must have been distracted somehow!

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 12:51:04 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

maybe i am WAY more cynical then you, but i really feel sometimes people are just trying to brag about what a great "s" or "D" type they are. More about tooting ones own horn.


I wouldn't call it cynical. This is a forum, some people like to express themselves, some people think they can give examples, even if they're not quite the answer to the question. If it bothers you, go to the library, and read things that don't talk back.

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 12:55:58 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I know that from time to time I've answered questions that I can't apply personal experience to and may have used the phrase.  For example, I remember a while back answering a question that was posed by a Mistress regarding her female slave.  Personally, I've never owned a female slave, but I felt that I had a contribution that may have been helpful.  It has nothing to do with one experience being better than the other.  It's just that it's different.

At times, people's experiences may have enough similarities at the root of the matter, even if the experience isn't an exact match.


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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 1:04:15 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		LadyPact, i too have spoken of things i didnt have personal experience with but, rather had observed someone close to me experience. And i also have gotten some enlightening insight from the most surprising places....Sometimes i tend to forget that.

And never once did i say it bothered me


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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 1:35:22 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i have noticed of late there are a few people that will answer a question(post on a thread) just to say the "can't really answer this but, ...."  then go on talking about how that (the thread they are replying to) doesn't really apply to them. So if you say i can't answer because this doesn't apply to you, and just go on to list ...i do this, or master does that.....  what is the real goal? To show what a wonderful "s" type you are? to show what a great "D" type you are? to show what a great relationship you have?....what?....i mean it was already stated "i can't really answer this but, ....."

I don't know why this happens either but I don't believe it's anywhere near so ego-centric as the reasons you've speculated, either....
 
Some post anyway because they just wanna belong; to contribute or just to kill some time etc and I swear there are others who are just wanting to crank up their post counter, too - like it's some sort of status thing or to give them a greater feeling of relevance etc.
 
I don't see what the biggy is anyway - I can't be the only one who simply skips straight over posts that are virtually empty graffiti....  Haven't seen it in awhile, but my pet hate yousta be those who'd reply with a highly informative "It all depends on the relationship", for cryin' out loud...!
 
Focus.

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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 1:46:19 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
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Status: offline 		Focus, in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter why people post i guess, and sure enough people will say what they want, after all it IS a discussion board. i remember feeling all warm inside when i got my forth paddle! Silly perhaps, but it made me smile none the less (Master can tell You i'm VERY easily amused LOL) And i certainly hope and expect people will skip the bullshit whether mine or someone elses and just gleen the good stuff.

i was just wanted to bat the ball around, if you will, about something i had noticed lately.

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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RE: answering questions - 5/23/2009 2:38:06 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		People don't ask questions about problems in their relationship if they don't have a problem. When someone says they don't have this problem, but their relationship works in a different form, they are giving you alternative ways in which such problems don't occur. Solutions outside the box, as it were. And sometimes you need to see outside the box to solve things once and for all.

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