when or how soon??? (Full Version)

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vinylchick42 -> when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 11:39:32 AM)

greetings.....

my question to the Master's and also any who has interest in my question, is how soon does one expect or ask for personal information about the Master? such as phone number(s), employment status or name of company,  where he/she lives etc????

i have been seeing a Master/Dom for some time now, but he is very cautious about giving out his personal information to me because he said he had a stalker and she caused him quite a bit of money due to loss of business because he had to change his number to his business etc. also he is a single parent which throws an entirely new demension onto the situation. he said he should of protected his children more from her, i think she knew where they live. i am also a single parent, so i truly understand this concern.  He has joked with me that he will give me his social security number and bank statements if i so desire, but that's not what i want.

i appreciate any comments or opinons you share with me. thank you so much for your time.



Musicmystery -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 11:42:32 AM)

quote:

i have been seeing a Master/Dom for some time now


If you have been "seeing" in the sense of physical intimacy "for some time now," then it's already long past time.

The story is fine at first, but doesn't hold up over time.




DarkSteven -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 11:46:39 AM)

Wanna bet he's married?

I won't give out my business info.  But my home address, phone number, and last name will be given out prior to a first meet.



sirsholly -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 11:52:17 AM)

i agree with Steven...it sounds like he is married. The stalker stuff, quite frankly, sounds silly. 



GabrielleSlave -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 11:53:53 AM)

Yup, married!



sirsholly -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 12:00:53 PM)

i can bet you do not have his home land line phone number, and you have never been to his home. I can also bet you have not spent any holidays with him.
It is so painful to think about, i am sure, but you need to consider his marital status before you get any more involved.



breatheasone -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 12:04:12 PM)

Another vote for cheating.... he probably is.[8|]



YourhandMyAss -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 12:07:17 PM)

I wouldn't give out my home address if I had kids living with me, or other innocents but a telephone number yeah.
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Wanna bet he's married?

I won't give out my business info.  But my home address, phone number, and last name will be given out prior to a first meet.




LafayetteLady -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 12:10:57 PM)

You are quite vague with the "some time" and you don't even say whether the time has been face to face or simply on line.  If this is face to face and you didn't have this information before you met him, he's not going to give it to you.  The elaborate story of his stalker?  I try not to be the big cynic around here, but I can't help but wonder if all the "money" she cost him was actually because his wife hired a PI and he got caught.  Every person here has one story or another about relationship hell.  But if you are going to now be not simply cautious, but more like "Mr. Non Information", even if what he was saying WERE true, he is too damaged to deal with in my opinion.

But in all likelihood, the guy is married.  Been there done that. 



LafayetteLady -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 12:15:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I wouldn't give out my home address if I had kids living with me, or other innocents but a telephone number yeah


If you have been seeing someone for "some time" you don't let them know where you live?  I don't give out my home address prior to a first meeting either, but if I'm going to continue to see someone, yea, they are gonna know where I live.  AND my kid lives with me full time.  Of course in my case, anyone meeting my son is like a warning to be on their best behavior, so many that's a little different.....[sm=boxer.gif] He and his friends would definately let the poor guy know the value of the woman he was seeing and the consequences should he forget!



YourhandMyAss -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 12:42:44 PM)

Well depends on what "some time is" She never stated, but I do know there are some people who're single, no family no kids no nothing, and it's 7 months or more sommetimes a year more, because that's their mental quirk or hang up. course you can always choose not to stay with someone like that but there are people who're quirked like that and it does NOT mean they're cheating.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I wouldn't give out my home address if I had kids living with me, or other innocents but a telephone number yeah


If you have been seeing someone for "some time" you don't let them know where you live?  I don't give out my home address prior to a first meeting either, but if I'm going to continue to see someone, yea, they are gonna know where I live.  AND my kid lives with me full time.  Of course in my case, anyone meeting my son is like a warning to be on their best behavior, so many that's a little different.....[sm=boxer.gif] He and his friends would definately let the poor guy know the value of the woman he was seeing and the consequences should he forget!




antipode -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 12:56:27 PM)

quote:

but he is very cautious about giving out his personal information to me because he said he had a stalker


I concur, he is hiding something. For one thing, stalking is against the law, and then you can take out an order of protection, and changing the number of his business, how would a stalker make that necessary? The cops are on it like white on rye when kids are involved. Best case, he is hiding from his ex.



janiebelle -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 1:02:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

but he is very cautious about giving out his personal information to me because he said he had a stalker


I concur, he is hiding something. For one thing, stalking is against the law, and then you can take out an order of protection, and changing the number of his business, how would a stalker make that necessary? The cops are on it like white on rye when kids are involved. Best case, he is hiding from his ex.



Most likely case:  she's no ex.



Focus50 -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 1:18:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: vinylchick42

greetings.....

my question to the Master's and also any who has interest in my question, is how soon does one expect or ask for personal information about the Master? such as phone number(s), employment status or name of company,  where he/she lives etc????

i have been seeing a Master/Dom for some time now, but he is very cautious about giving out his personal information to me because he said he had a stalker and she caused him quite a bit of money due to loss of business because he had to change his number to his business etc. also he is a single parent which throws an entirely new demension onto the situation. he said he should of protected his children more from her, i think she knew where they live. i am also a single parent, so i truly understand this concern.  He has joked with me that he will give me his social security number and bank statements if i so desire, but that's not what i want.

i appreciate any comments or opinons you share with me. thank you so much for your time.

Water inevitably flows downhill....  If you're actually "seeing" someone in the flesh and physical sense and everything is amicable and above board etc, then it's quite natural that personal details get exchanged no matter what the relationship dynamic (vanilla, D/s, gay, M/s etc).
 
Now throw in a formula for solving mysteries - Okhums Razor states (more or less) that "All things being equal, the simplest, most obvious explanation will be the solution". 
 
From the available information (your OP), the most obvious is pretty much what the other posters are saying - that he's actually hiding another relationship, one where she does have access to his home and phone etc....
 
Focus. 



Kirata -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 1:31:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Okhums Razor states (more or less) that "All things being equal, the simplest, most obvious explanation will be the solution". 

There is, however, also Hanlon's Razor to consider, which states:

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

[:D]

K.




peppermint -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 2:14:42 PM)

No phone number, no idea where he lives means no meet and no play for me.  If there is no trust, there is no reason to meet at all. 

Gotta agree with the majority here.  Sounds like a married or otherwise taken guy playing on the side. 



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 2:19:44 PM)

If you have been "seeing' him for some time and don't know where he lives or his phone number it smells like a married man to me....ITS APPROPRIATE TO ASK FOR SUCH AFTER SEVERAL DATES>>BH



antipode -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 4:05:40 PM)

quote:

Most likely case: she's no ex.


Well... you don't know where those kids are, there could be more kids, there is the alimony/child payment thing - that is what would make someone disappear an entire business. And ex-es do stalk - I've had that happen, she even crossed the big pond to do it.



antipode -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 4:07:15 PM)

quote:

Okhums Razor


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam%27s_razor



Drakontos -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 4:10:28 PM)

Within two hours of speaking with her owner on a message board, zaphira had his phone number, home address, place of business, business number, a faxed copy of his drivers license, and confirmation from local authorities that he was who he said he was. This slave did not ask for these things; Master gave them to her despite her protests. In additon to this, zaphira was not asked to verify anything about herself. All she was required to give up was her real name and phone number.



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