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fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:20:46 PM   
untamedhrt


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		Wondering how a person can safe guard themselves from fakes, phoneys and the like on here. I resently met up with someone who didn't look anything like the picture that was posted! Anyone else had this problem?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:23:09 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		webcam
ask for more pictures..
not seek out ppl on CM
these sites are kinda like bingo...
good luck


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Profile   Post #: 2
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:26:16 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		sometime before i meet someone, i will cam with them.  not for sex, but to show i am who i say i am.  no surprises.

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RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:30:31 PM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		When I print out documents at work, they often bear a watermark stating "Uncontrolled when Printed".  I see photos the same way, as that moment frozen in time is no longer an accurate depiction of the subject. 

The absence or presence of photos for online meeting places is an interesting subject.  In the cases where no actual meeting will ever take place, I find photos extraneous, and would prefer not even having one.  For me, I would almost rather get to know someone before seeing a photo, rather than using it as a screening method.  (Almost )

I think the use of falsified photos is sad and despicable, except for the avatar photos on the message board (I just love this pic although it doesn't resemble me in any way.) 

yours 


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As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to untamedhrt)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:34:59 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I never ask for pics, never ask to cam, and I meet with someone as soon as possible.  I don't get emotionally invested, or physically attracted, before meeting in real life.  Intrigued, yes, but that's as far as it goes.

I've had women tell me how much more relaxed they were when meeting me, instead of other guys, because I didn't have some big idea already built up about how things should go between us.

I don't give people an opportunity to lie to me.  Much less drama that way.


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:35:19 PM   
untamedhrt


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		ty ladies , I will keep it in mind regarding about cam if I had one. Yes your are right that pic's don't really matter but they do, if they pretend to be someone something they are not. Thanks again

(in reply to YoursMistress)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:37:01 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		I once met someone who had a great picture.  This was in 03/04.  He has that same picture on this site even though I met him on a different site.  I could tell that he was indeed the same person in the photogragh, but he really needed to thank the photographer.

Did you question him about the difference between the picture and the real thing?  Obviously, this guy wasn't a "fake" as you met him in real life, meaning he was a real person.  So if this was a fake photograph, he will constantly need to explain the situation.  Was he a total hottie in the picture and in real life there wasn't enough alcohol in the world for you to ever consider touching him even in a completely dark room with a bag over his head? 

Meeting people from ANY online site is a crap shoot as to how they will look.  I assume you had conversations with him that made you want to meet him.  Maybe he thought the connection was good enough that you could see past his looks.  Obviously it wasn't. 

You know what they say about having to kiss a lot of frogs.  If you met someone out socially, you would immediately know that his "look" was unappealling.  However, how many times have you talked to that good looking guy only to find out he has no personality?  It works both ways.  Brush yourself off and try again.  Keep those first meetings public and friendly.  It isn't the end of the world and except for the obvious, use your gut to gage the situation.  If you still think everyone is a fake and phony, your own radar is off and you need to work on it.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:42:04 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with RedMagic1..I do the same thing only I have met some too soon before really getting a feel for someone on the phone and I would say be sure you have a good feel about chemistry that way before meeting...I have had men convince me to meet even though I knew in my heart from a few conversations I wasn't really that into them..so I don't do that anymore. I will add better to meet within 3-4 weeks if possible.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:46:51 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		pics are good sometimes.. if only "lemme see what you look llike a day/12 hrs/etc before we meet"
Otherwise? not so much


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RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:49:31 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with you GreedyTop...I try and get a photo but if the personality is good a few times I have not...actually my last relationship which lasted 16 months I wasn't that into his photo but he looked much better in person!  ha ha

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 5/23/2009 3:51:49 PM >

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:52:37 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		exactly.  A photo is no indicator of the PERSON.   They may have lost/gained weight.  gotten older. etc.   Does the PERSON interest you?


Thats what matters, IMO


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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 3:58:20 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

about cam if I had one


I guess that explains it. What with a webcam costing $15 at Wal-Mart, what made you decide it is not for you? A webcam isn't necessary to view someone else on their cam, anyway, so whether you do or don't own one really does not come into it much.

(in reply to untamedhrt)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 4:02:22 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I've met people where their picture turned out to be about 20 years old or their photos were not of them.

I just shrugged my shoulders, finished my coffee, shook their hand, told them I had a nice time but we aren't compatible and went along my merry way. No hurt feelings, no anger or resentment. Why should there be? We simply weren't compatible. Big deal. Move on.

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 4:04:18 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

exactly.  A photo is no indicator of the PERSON.   They may have lost/gained weight.  gotten older. etc.   Does the PERSON interest you?


Thats what matters, IMO



This is the big catch 22 of the internet.  I never ask for a photo until I know whether there is that "click."  What's the point? 

I've had guys send me a picture right away or even contacted someone based on their picture (face it, we all like the visual thing) only to find out they were complete assholes.

I've had conversations with guys where no pictures were exchanged but that "click" was definately there.  The picture I got scared the crap out of me.  I'm not talking not what I expected.  I'm talking no teeth, no hair, really frightening.  Again I was disappointed.

Then there are the guys who insist on sending me a picture initially even though I tell them I won't send them mine.  Then you get the inevitable "what do you think" which makes me nuts and I end contact pretty quickly because I can tell they are pretty superficial.

If I meet someone and they don't look anything like their picture, I can't even tell that the picture would be them (hair is a different color, etc.) I'm immediately calling them on it.  Honestly though, I have never met someone who was so radically different than their picture that I was sure it wasn't them.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 4:04:45 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I haven't look at anyone on their web cam in the last 3 years...I know there are those just into showing their face whatever..but it is the vehicle for many men to get out their exhibitionistic tendencies...nothing wrong with that just not for me but others are seeking that.....as once you have seen it 10-15 times you have seen it all and that doesn't show their personality at all..now if i was into a man far away who had a cam and we were into each other..that is a different thing...I can buy one but i like my privacy in that way..we all have our different ways of being who we are....he he..Adding...heck I just realized I have that Microsoft Antitrust settlement sitting on my desk..i could buy a webcam with that even I think..or get the money for it ..but i would probably get something else

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 5/23/2009 4:06:21 PM >

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 4:05:11 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		The logical answer here is, there isn't ANYTHING you can do to "safeguard" yourself against them.  People post photos that don't look exactly like themselves for many reasons, from complete and totally delusional to complete and totally in denial to complete and totally clueless.  Some people think it's perfectly fine to post photos 20 years old because they lookED great then!  Or Glam shots because this is what they look like WHEN they get all glammed up.  Or in a tux at someone's wedding because this is how great they looked at that wedding in a tux.

Just take the photo at face value (so to speak!) to get a general idea of what they sort of look like and then see what they really look like when you meet them.  It's pretty much part of the game when you play online roulette.  Also, don't go all ga-ga if you do see a great photo, just remember they're human like everyone else.  That way, you're not so disappointed. 

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(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 4:06:31 PM   
EmelineRose


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/12/2009
Status: offline 		Generally if it looks like a so-called "perfect" person (according to the usual social conditioning of what that supposedly constitutes) and a professional photo (especially one which looks very staged or like it's been taken in a studio) I would tend to be suspicious.  I do see lots of "perfect" nubile young women posing photos here doing the "right" smile, posture etc and they tend to scream to me "fake profile" (and often it is older MEN who make those profiles or someone wanting to do some kind of scam on gullible men).

On the other hand I've known several men who stole their photographs too, so it's not just the women doing this.  I've found men lie a lot about their height and women lie a lot about their weight.  Also I've noticed men tend to think they're a lot more attractive that they really are (of course attractive is a subjective term anyway, but on the other hand some seem to lack completely any objectivity).

I think the best thing is to use your intuition, common sense and sensitivity. 

The obvious answer is a cam but even they are far from infallible.  People can look pretty different on cam and there is a lot you can't see.  Also I've known instances where the real scam artists put someone ELSE on cam.  Some have told me they even found someone who played a VIDEO of someone else through their cam.

I think when it all boils down to it, it comes down to the honesty of the other person (bearing in mind too they may honestly see themselves as different to how many others might see them) but you really never known till you meet them.

If a real life meet is a lot of trouble,  I'd also definitely talk to them by phone or on voice first, not just to check they are the gender they claim to be, but I've found people can seem a LOT different on voice than in text, almost like different personalities, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.

Good luck!

(in reply to untamedhrt)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 5:44:43 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		Just a warning, I'm not this fuzzy in real life.

My pic is old (2005 I think), but according to someone I saw for the first time since then, i look like I've lost weight. Plus I really haven't aged much in the last 7-8 years, which is nice.

Every time I email someone I sent recent pics, I just think the profile pic I have is a good one. Next time I get a decent pic of me in a suit or tux, I'll put a new one up probably.


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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 6:09:26 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I don't have pics on this account, but on the old one I do. IF someone wants to view the old account, I let them. Tis up to them if they want to chat with me afterwards.

Besides, antique computer + no webcam + dialup = no go for me. I am having trouble DLing SP3 as it is...not to mention that Flash player hates me...

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: fake photos - 5/23/2009 6:20:29 PM   
army101


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/2/2009
Status: offline 		Wow fake pics really? whats next people asking for money too! Yes there are quite a few fakes here but you can find what you are looking for.

But it takes time find some one you are interested in. Chat awhile see if you do like each other and want to meet sometime if you click. Meet and look in their eyes and inside them explore beneath the outer surface and you will find that persons real attraction!

(in reply to ShaharThorne)
Profile   Post #: 20
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