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RE: Netting it out - 5/26/2009 6:58:16 AM

Whenready

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missturbation quote: i'm just here for the chat, gossip, bitchfests and cake.

There's cake? Darn, I knew there was something I was missing....

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RE: Netting it out - 5/26/2009 7:41:45 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

I don't process my relationship with Carol in terms of selfish and selflessness. In fact, I don't think I really process her as being all that distinct from me. Her needs... my needs... her wants... my wants... all bouncing off each other in a hall of mirrors. Who could possibly say where something started or why something was. We both give into the relationship so that we can, in turn, get out of it again. But between her and I, I think there's mostly just "us".

I loved this.

Why do we have to be packaged into such descriptives as "selfish" or "selfless?" Why does it have to be either? In my opinion, it's neither. It's simply a joining of forces with the right compatible match, and making something wonderful...together.

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RE: Netting it out - 5/26/2009 8:54:14 AM

MercilessMarcy

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I'm bothered by the JUDGEMENTS made here that "selfishness" is bad and "selflessness" is good. They are neither. We are human beings BEING HUMAN. I love the discussions themselves.

If you don't accept someone as they are, leave them the hell alone! If you do like them just as they are, by all means, invite them in to play!

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RE: Netting it out - 5/26/2009 9:31:03 AM

cpK69

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MercilessMarcy

I'm bothered by the JUDGEMENTS made here that "selfishness" is bad and "selflessness" is good. They are neither. We are human beings BEING HUMAN. I love the discussions themselves.

For me, both are the equivalent of forgetting myself. If I am selfless, I have thought nothing of myself, and am likely to be used up until extinction. If I am selfish, I have only thought of a small part of me, which would eventually cause the same end result.

Kim

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RE: Netting it out - 5/26/2009 11:27:34 AM

janiebelle

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This goes back to the earlier comment IRT objectivist philosophy.
The virtue of selfishness is a very real, valid phenomenon. Human beings, by their nature, must be selfish to some degree in order to survive, and to a greater degree in order to prosper. After all, it is by acknowledging your own needs and desires that you are able to make intelligent life choices. Complete selflessness would be detrimental to the self, the soul, if you will; as you would end up unfulfilled at best, and dead at worst.
The myth of altruism is the obvious counterpoint. While altruism may appear selfless, it is not not that way under closer examination. The altruistic, selfless folks get something very self-satisfying from their actions. Whether it is because they enjoy sacrifice, have a martyr thing going, need to serve for their psyche's sake, enjoy the accolades of those around them, or whatever other motivation they may have, their is always self interest (and not always of the enlightened variety) at work.
j

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RE: Netting it out - 5/26/2009 12:51:41 PM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

People are selfish...period.

The Zeebrugge disaster where a number of people drowned - a bloke turned his body into a human bridge so people could walk over him to safety. Interesting what humans are capable of eh.

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RE: Netting it out - 5/26/2009 5:38:39 PM

Andalusite

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I think of both people getting what they need and want from a relationship as a win-win, not as both people being selfish or self-centered. In fact, if most people aren't happy most of the time in a relationship, they probably aren't very compatible, so they'd be better off looking for someone else. You shouldn't feel like a martyr to your partner!

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