RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom?

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RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:26:50 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

No.......I'm the person he chose to own ..The fact that we're together, happy and compatable after years and years says that we share a pretty similar outlook. We BOTH *reflect* the obvious fact that we are content with each other and how each of us behave. It's a two way thing.

agirl

Yes, i can understand the two way thing. if i didnt respect someone nor did they me, i be out the door. always been that way, assume will stay that way.
Thanks for sharing.

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 21

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:29:54 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Those tings that we hold closest to us are a reflection of us. A partner: of course.
Davan

oh i really like that. Thank you for sharing your thoughts

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 22

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 2:32:20 PM

kuriouswitch

Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline

oh I very much believe a s is a reflection of their M. Every action and spoken word makes an impression not just of the s but of the M as well.

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 23

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 3:11:19 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Not always..sometimes yes. Sometimes no.

I do have my own personality which is distinct from his and we have some differences. Not everything I do in life is a reflection of him just as not everything I do is a reflection on my parents or my employer.

Imo saying you are a complete reflection on your dom is putting a lot of responsibility and burden on both when in reality when people see you and your actions they aren't going to say "he must be a bad bad dom". They're going to say "she's an awful person." Responsibility lies with you and your actions are placed on you alone.

There are times when the only person who is reflected is me.

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 24

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 3:13:26 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kuriouswitch

oh I very much believe a s is a reflection of their M. Every action and spoken word makes an impression not just of the s but of the M as well.

Thank you. Sometimes my heart goes out to the Doms, when i read a post and find a behavior that does not reflect well upon their Dom. i dont know how to respond to that, or to a Dom whose s-type is 'acting out',so i thought i pose it in this question about reflection.

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to kuriouswitch)

Post #: 25

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 3:28:36 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

Perhaps, over time as a relationship develops, this might be true. But say i met someone, we had amazing chemistry, and after a couple months, we decide to begin a D/s relationship...how could i possibly be a reflection of someone within a short amount of time? (i can just imagine some loser using this thread to illustrate the shortcomings in the sub he met yesterday evening on IM, and collared today around 9a.m. "Little one you are a reflection of MEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

)

More than my Dom, i am a reflection of my parents, family, culture, society, generation...and so it goes. Many things influence each of us. Now, as time goes by, and the natural ebb and flow of relationships take place, there are things(ie.rules, protocols) that just fit into place, and habits form as a result. There are certain to be transformations on both ends. But the vital ingredient in all of this, is time.

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 26

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 3:34:36 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

quote:

(i can just imagine some loser using this thread to illustrate the shortcomings in the sub he met yesterday evening on IM, and collared today around 9a.m. "Little one you are a reflection of MEEEEEEE!!!!!!" )
[/groan]

laughing here but thanks for bringing that up. I do forget, since i never dated internet, that this happens. oy!!!

Still though being in or out of a relationship for me is still serving and representing the Higher Cosmic Power i believe in. So i would carry on the same.

< Message edited by oceanwinds -- 5/26/2009 3:35:25 PM >

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Post #: 27

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 4:01:14 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom, and why or why not?

yes.

this slave sees them as a representation of what their dominant desires in a partner and is therefore a reflection of their dominant's values/choice of lifestyle.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 5/26/2009 4:04:30 PM >

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 28

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 4:20:35 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

Hi littlewonder
I wanted to reflect on this part of your answer for a bit, before i replied.

quote:

Imo saying you are a complete reflection on your dom is putting a lot of responsibility and burden on both when in reality when people see you and your actions they aren't going to say "he must be a bad bad dom". They're going to say "she's an awful person." Responsibility lies with you and your actions are placed on you alone.

It does seem that some do see this as a reflection of their dom. In my case i know i do. I also am aware we all at times might not present ourself in a positive reflection and it is noticable. Sometimes it can be chalked up to a person having a bad day. I know what is expected from me, and not just from Sir but my upbringing, my spiritual beliefs etc that all contribute to the essence of me. This is me but i was curious why some do not see it as a concern. This processing for me came about yesterday when a Dom posted and his s -type behavior was sad, put it nicely. i felt bad for him, but didnt know how to respond to it. watched to see how others did or did not, but the subject of respecting and being a reflection didnt come about. So it got me wondering how people perceive this in a broader view.

Perhaps if we realize we are a reflection of who we serve be it a human or something 'bigger' then us, we might think twice about how we post. I know i probably need more work too on this, and am not making myself out to be a saint. Sometimes i think it is a good idea to remind myself that i am a reflection of whom i serve.

Not sure if this makes sense, just flowing my thoughts out.

oceanwinds

_____________________________

I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 29

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 4:22:50 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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This concept of reflecting well upon your Dom was explained to me quite simply as pride in ownership. My Dom has encouraged me to be comfortable in being myself. He believes this inherently reflects well upon him since he feels he made a wise decision in choosing me to be his. However, I reflect him not only by who I was when I came into the relationship and the qualities I had then, but by what we've built and learned together along the way.

There is another aspect that comes to mind with physical appearance. An s type's behavior is not the only way a Dom/me is measured. It may be superficial but no less important in some situations. The quality of being attractive is not just beauty, it is many other things like confidence, cleanliness, or being dressed in a flattering way. Having pride in yourself = pride in ownership for your partner. In the end the two go hand in hand. An physically attractive s type won't get any positive notice from others if he/she is not attractive in other ways as well.

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 30

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 4:35:11 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

In theory, yes. I would expect any slave collared to Bruin Cottage to be as a shining beacon for our Lifestyle, our home and both Lady Neets and myself. If the slave is collared to me personally she should reflect the best of our Victorian era Lifestyle, bruin Cottage and myself as a person and as a Master. We can only but endeavour to reach that goal.. When a slave from my home is found pleasing in performing service to others of in the course of her duties by another Dominant or even by other sub/slaves she brings honour to her collar and thus to the home which in turn reaffirms the correctness of what I teach and how I train.. (ergo both slave and I have demonstrated that we both are on course)..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 31

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 4:55:59 PM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

Nicely said! I totally agree i am the reflection of my Dominant's care, guidance, love and direction......

When my last Master passed away, holding onto that thought helped get me through the grieving process.....conducting myself with strength, dignity and class and knowing i'd always carry a piece of Him with me from having had the privilege of serving Him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
This concept of reflecting well upon your Dom was explained to me quite simply as pride in ownership. My Dom has encouraged me to be comfortable in being myself. He believes this inherently reflects well upon him since he feels he made a wise decision in choosing me to be his. However, I reflect him not only by who I was when I came into the relationship and the qualities I had then, but by what we've built and learned together along the way.

_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 32

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 5:37:42 PM

LovingMistress45

Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline

For the most part I would say yes, I do think a sub is a reflection of their dominant.

(in reply to silkncarol)

Post #: 33

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 6:10:09 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

When I see this frame of thought I wonder where these bad reflection submissives were raised. My manners were determined by my parents and my peers. I learned not to burp, fart, make rude noises. cuss or sneer at people I meet because inwardly I might think poorly of them for what ever reason. The men who have been in my life didn't always hold to those standards. In fact most people I know cuss, burp, ect. I was basically taught to be a freak. So.. is this because some dominant "raised" me? Taught me? Or is it my freakish anal nature and upbringing that caused me to turn out this way. What is the dominant teaching these "good" reflection submissives? What are the criteria for showing your dominant in a good light?
Curious minds want to know,
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

Entering into BDSM at a later age, many things confused me but one did not, perhaps because i lived that way anyways. As a submissive, i am like a representative to my Dom. My way of expressing myself reflects on him. Maybe a lot of people dont see it this way, but i do and works for me. Sir mentioned early to me in our relationship that a s-type reflect how well the Dom taught them.

Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom, and why or why not?

oceanwynds

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 34

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 6:16:05 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Yes and the other way around. If you choose someone who is bigoted or ignorant it says something about you. And I don't care to associate with those types. But my friends all have a certain similar viewpoint when it comes to moral values, and that's what matters most to me.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 35

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 6:22:02 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds
Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom, and why or why not?

oceanwynds

(Fast reply)

Yes, I most certainly do. If I am supposed to be a part of the development of My sub in the lifestyle, he should absolutely be able to reflect the things he has learned through Me and the experiences of our time together. Being able to demonstrate knowledge of protocol, lifestyle, and even knowledge of play.

I often say that My boy has earned the right to wear My collar. Being a reflection of Me is part of that.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 36

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 6:33:55 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds
Sir mentioned early to me in our relationship that a s-type reflect how well the Dom taught them.

There are so many different types of D/s relationships out there that trying to apply some 'how well the dom taught them' standard to them is almost pointless. That comment is indicative of a mindset that there is one right way to do things for everyone and that's only a little bit on the pompous side.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 37

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 6:34:21 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I see the friends a person chooses to associate with as a reflection of that person.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 38

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 6:39:00 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I think it works both ways. If I have chosen properly, those that serve me will reflect well on me as a person, and I would like to think that they would be pleased to be associated with me.

I have met many people who had partners that were utterly ghastly in one regard or another, and I admit it made me think twice about their ability to choose! But, to each his/her own!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 39

RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? - 5/26/2009 6:40:35 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I see the friends a person chooses to associate with as a reflection of that person.

I agree with RedMagic and LadyPact!
I see the submissive, the friends, and the life a person is living as a reflection of that person.
If it is not your life and a reflection of choices that you have made, than whose life would it be a reflection of?

Also, I agree with LadyPact my collared submissive is a big reflection of me and what I value, I take collaring VERY seriously, and that is why I have not given anyone a collar yet!
Hell yes, you reflect me!
My ex-husband, any mates/old boyfriends/submissives/slaves, whomever I decide to become involved with is always a reflection of me.

Keywords: I decided to become involved with.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 5/26/2009 6:48:18 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 40

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