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RE: What gives? - 5/30/2009 3:02:38 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

This sort of thing happens constantly! I know that doesn't make you feel better, but I want to assure you that it is NOT you, it's them.

I was chatting to a local guy, who poofed. The next thing I knew, he had changed his profile to say "found Mistress". Okies! I wrote him a "congratulations" note---only to hear back that the mistress he had found was ME! I told him that we would need to discuss that issue in person---because we had not physically MET yet! Haven't heard from him since.

I wish that the ones who are not interested would have the good grace to just say "no thanks" in an email, or that the ones who NEVER intend to leave the computer room would say as much. I would also like to wish for a Pucci print corset, and a money tree.

Wait a minute! I thought that if a dominant woman contacted me by PM it was now my right to claim her as mine. No one ever sends me the update memos here.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 21

RE: What gives? - 5/30/2009 4:44:19 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Sorry to hear, OP, but don't despair.....one of these days soon, his brother will be contacting you to inform you of his tragic untimely death, but he left instructions that the brother should step in and take his place.

Seriously, it's better to know they're jerks now than later.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 22

RE: What gives? - 5/30/2009 9:00:26 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Sorry to hear, OP, but don't despair.....one of these days soon, his brother will be contacting you to inform you of his tragic untimely death, but he left instructions that the brother should step in and take his place.

windchymes...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 23

RE: What gives? - 5/31/2009 4:24:26 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Well, since that someone gave us absolutely NO hints who she is, nor who he is, then he'd be a bit of a twit.
(which he sounds like already)

Agreed. And perhaps said twit, just outted himself?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 24

RE: What gives? - 5/31/2009 5:15:05 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StayingAnonymou

Okay, I'm a fairly regular poster here who doesn't want to give some jerk the satisfaction of knowing just how much he got to me.
Someone I've so far only spoken to for some time on line and on phone and we seem (at least so I thought) to have a connection. He isn't really local but we've had ongoing regular conversations. Now he calls he's in the general area and we set up plans to meet. No expectations for play but maybe a beginning for one later on, right? We've been talking for quite a while and I'm really looking forward to our first meeting. Then.....
Silence. Loud Silence. Nothing.

He's gone. He doesn't answer the phone. He doesn't reply to emails. His profile is gone.

I'm not really asking for advice, I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

There are a few folks who are members of CM (other side) who I dearly wish would remove their membership and just disappear in a puff of pixi powder. Their a pain, They are blocked from my Cmails but regularly show up on the "Whose Viewing You" thingie... Thankfully there is the delete "X" which is handy..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to StayingAnonymou)

Post #: 25

RE: What gives? - 5/31/2009 6:40:13 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I am sorry this happened. He sounded like a chicken shit that when it came time to a real meeting he chickened out. Better to know now that he is a chicken shit.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to StayingAnonymou)

Post #: 26

RE: What gives? - 5/31/2009 10:07:20 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Well, since that someone gave us absolutely NO hints who she is, nor who he is, then he'd be a bit of a twit.
(which he sounds like already)

Agreed. And perhaps said twit, just outted himself?

I considered saying that...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 27

RE: What gives? - 5/31/2009 4:09:42 PM

MeaganBlake

Posts: 56
Joined: 1/8/2009
From: Central Ohio
Status: offline

I met a boy on here a couple of months ago. I had a nice coffee date and I thought things went really well. Then he just kind of disappeared. I sent him a couple of e-mails telling him if he wasn't interested, just say so, and he insisted he was. Then nothing for weeks until...

I got an e-mail from him this week saying he was interested again. We e-mailed a few times, and now he's vanished again. I really don't know what his problem is! But anyway, the point I'm trying to make, is not to take it personally. It happens to everyone.

_____________________________

Meagan

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 28

RE: What gives? - 5/31/2009 4:24:20 PM

ctsub2003

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline

This happens to everyone on both sides of the fence, D/s, F/m. The reality is, it is easier to just ignore someone online ( we are all just magnetic ink) than to get into a long drawn out discussion as to why you don't wish tto pursue a relationship w/ said person. There are no accusations or hurt feelings, tears or whatever. Only searching discussion board questions like this one. Cowardly? Sure, but some people just don't want to own up to it. Don't think it is just subs either, it has happened to me w/ 2 "dommes". Keep your head up and move on ;)

(in reply to MeaganBlake)

Post #: 29

RE: What gives? - 5/31/2009 4:37:24 PM

skinn

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

Four years Ive been here,searching for the right her. Have had countless ''tyre kickers,scammers,wannabe's and the wish I coulds'' but as others have mentioned there is a certain style to the mails they write,or the calls they make.
One learns how to weed em out, after a while.
What bugs me is the time invested till one comes to know the signs.
Dont give up though as that would be letting the creeps get there way .There is real people out there and there will be one for you to.

(in reply to ctsub2003)

Post #: 30

RE: What gives? - 5/31/2009 9:41:13 PM

kuriouswitch

Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline

i've had this happen to me, someone i got along with really well, things meshed awesomely, then one night after promising he'd be there when i woke up he just vanished, his profile was gone, he didn't answer the phone or texts or his IM. it happens, but you breathe deeply and cry or rage a bit then move on.

(in reply to StayingAnonymou)

Post #: 31

RE: What gives? - 5/31/2009 10:47:09 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Neets and I have had a few no shows, we just wrote them off and enjoyed the coffee then a spot of shopping. perhaps they couldn't handle me using a stick to walk or being a wheel chair when my knee was having a bad hair day. I just put it down to my being the most evil bastard in Australia, I scared them shitless.. LOL... WEG...VWEG...RWML...

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to kuriouswitch)

Post #: 32

RE: What gives? - 6/1/2009 5:41:26 AM

marysdream

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/31/2008
Status: offline

Well obviously you gave him all he wanted on line and on the phone....maybe a lesson learned, if you really want real time make it clear, you will not jump into the BDSM aspects until you meet, believe me this will have most running after a few chats!
good luck
ree

(in reply to StayingAnonymou)

Post #: 33

RE: What gives? - 6/1/2009 7:40:04 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marysdream

Well obviously you gave him all he wanted on line and on the phone....maybe a lesson learned, if you really want real time make it clear, you will not jump into the BDSM aspects until you meet, believe me this will have most running after a few chats!
good luck
ree

I disagree. He was probably married and/or scared. Plus the OP made it clear there was not to be any play on the first meet, so maybe he decided it wouldn't be worth it if he didn't get any.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to marysdream)

Post #: 34

RE: What gives? - 6/1/2009 8:07:57 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StayingAnonymou

Okay, I'm a fairly regular poster here who doesn't want to give some jerk the satisfaction of knowing just how much he got to me.
Someone I've so far only spoken to for some time on line and on phone and we seem (at least so I thought) to have a connection. He isn't really local but we've had ongoing regular conversations. Now he calls he's in the general area and we set up plans to meet. No expectations for play but maybe a beginning for one later on, right? We've been talking for quite a while and I'm really looking forward to our first meeting. Then.....
Silence. Loud Silence. Nothing.

He's gone. He doesn't answer the phone. He doesn't reply to emails. His profile is gone.

I'm not really asking for advice, I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

I am really sorry this happened to you...but it does happen, on both sides of the D/s fence. I was speaking to a submissive from here whose life got tough. I tried to continue to be there for her, be supportive, yada, yada, yada...and she just went "poof". Didn't answer the phone, didn't answer her cmail, didn't answer her regular mail. As far as I know, she did the same thing she had said she always does...when the going got tough, she got going. She's self-admittedly good at running.
She proved it...

(in reply to StayingAnonymou)

Post #: 35

RE: What gives? - 6/1/2009 8:13:33 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

I fail to see what the OP had "invested" in this ummmm relationship naaa coffee friend naaa .. letsee you swapped a couple e's and phone calls and your so upset you can't use your real nick.

Im so curious how anyone considers email and phone calls anything more than very casual online bud. Im assuming this guy didnt give you his online version of the "letter jacket" and going steady??? You say he just vanished. what to do ..what to do?

Im thinking you need a reality check.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 36

RE: What gives? - 6/1/2009 8:23:52 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MeaganBlake

I met a boy on here a couple of months ago. I had a nice coffee date and I thought things went really well. Then he just kind of disappeared. I sent him a couple of e-mails telling him if he wasn't interested, just say so, and he insisted he was. Then nothing for weeks until...

I got an e-mail from him this week saying he was interested again. We e-mailed a few times, and now he's vanished again. I really don't know what his problem is! But anyway, the point I'm trying to make, is not to take it personally. It happens to everyone.

There have been threads about this phenomenon on the Ask A Mistress board. A lot of malesubs move in and out of desiring/needing a domme, almost like a menstrual cycle. It's apparently extremely common -- and very different from female subs, who tend (like nilla women) to look for a relationship and stick to it.

Bottom line: he might not be a flake, just confused. You might consider searching the Ask A Mistress threads, or posting there about this.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MeaganBlake)

Post #: 37

RE: What gives? - 6/1/2009 8:31:01 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: MeaganBlake

I met a boy on here a couple of months ago. I had a nice coffee date and I thought things went really well. Then he just kind of disappeared. I sent him a couple of e-mails telling him if he wasn't interested, just say so, and he insisted he was. Then nothing for weeks until...

I got an e-mail from him this week saying he was interested again. We e-mailed a few times, and now he's vanished again. I really don't know what his problem is! But anyway, the point I'm trying to make, is not to take it personally. It happens to everyone.

There have been threads about this phenomenon on the Ask A Mistress board. A lot of malesubs move in and out of desiring/needing a domme, almost like a menstrual cycle. It's apparently extremely common -- and very different from female subs, who tend (like nilla women) to look for a relationship and stick to it.

Bottom line: he might not be a flake, just confused. You might consider searching the Ask A Mistress threads, or posting there about this.

My friend, this analogy is so apt, I want to sig it somehow!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 38

RE: What gives? - 6/1/2009 9:19:58 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Subovulation: the three days each month a man feels an overwhelming urge to submit.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 39

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