RE: age

RE: age (Full Version)

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oceanwinds -> RE: age (5/30/2009 4:35:44 PM)
I was 26 when I met my late husband. He was 40. I am sure my physical appearance caught his eye, but there is a whole lot more to me then just that. He ended up with a wonderful wife-me:) Sir is 6 years younger then me. Age is a number, it is what is beneath the age that matters.

lizi -> RE: age (5/30/2009 4:41:20 PM)
Very good angelika...I believe what you said sums up the general opinion thus far. Attitude is more valuable than age. Really that is what it comes down to. Your attitude is an amalgam of your experience, outlook, intelligence, personality, and self confidence. Op...concentrate on what it is that you have to offer and feel confident in it whatever it is. It will show to the rest of the world and you won't lack for admirers. The strengths that you have to offer will always come across as being incredibly attractive if you yourself view them as strengths- I can attest to that personally and it seems that many others here can attest to it as well.

OrionTheWolf -> RE: age (5/30/2009 6:03:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candisa quote: ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf I prefer my slaves to be young, but that helps because they do not have the jaded outlook on life that some may get as they get older. Too young, and naive is not attractive in the long term though. My girl is 25 and I am soon to turn 44. She has had many more life experiences than someone her age, and she is definately not naive. It all depends upon the people involved. To me this sounds like a contradiction,you say she is young 25, yet not naive and had many more then most would experience at her age, most people become jaded through life experiences, I don't really think age has much to do with it. Nope, not at all. One can have experiences, without being jaded. It has been my experience though, that many older women have already run into many assholes, and I have no desire to suffer for someone else's sins. Yes age does have something to do with it, but do not take my word, the research is available via the internet. quote: There is a huge ageism for women over 40, Men in their 40's and 50's want way younger ladies, 20's and low 30's basically for the reasons you have said, I believe it is for this reasons,(more naive, easier to train, hot tight bodies, less baggage) Yet those same men do tend to forget, they are jaded with their life experiences, life has away of teaching us all lessons, when one becomes less shallow, it's really what is on the inside that matters. Yeah well the relationships I have had with women close to my age, I always was held accountable because of what their ex had done to them before. Not going through that again. More naive, nope. Less jaded, yep. They are easier to train, because they have not picked up a lot of bad habits and they do have a lot less emotional baggage, one of them usually being insecure about their age and abilities. Insecurity is one of the biggest turn offs listed on most surveys about attractive qualities. Yes it is what is on the inside that matters, but I like the bonus of having a nice package for it. I have only settled for less once, and that person wound up being ugly on the inside and plain on the outside, though in the first six months she put on a face of being a sweet girl. Yeah life does teach us many things, as well as studying human behavior. Also, there is a bio truth about males seeking younger females. They may not realize it but the more fertile a woman is, the more attractive they are on a natural level. There are anthropological studies on this. Kind of off topic, but an interesting one was done on the amount of money that strippers made. They made more money during ovulation, than when they were on their cycle. Now some of this was attributed to how a female feels during these two times, but the statistics were staggering.

kallisto -> RE: age (5/30/2009 6:14:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin In my experience my age is an asset. People tend to underestimate me. Yes they do. [:)] I've posted before that I would have lost a bet had I been asked your age. You can certainly hold your own and would put some people much older than you to shame. [:)] Age is a number.

DavanKael -> RE: age (5/30/2009 8:00:26 PM)
I have a bias toward partners who are older than myself and would be much more comfortable with the idea of someone a decade older than a few years younger. And, alas, I've not found that age necessarily equates to maturity. Davan

heartcream -> RE: age (5/30/2009 8:14:00 PM)
I was very old by the time I was five years old due to some traumatic experiences. The older I get the less baggage I have not more. I was born old. My dog was too, she was so old when I got her at 3 months old due to very traumatic experiences when she was born. The competitiveness about age is immature. Young people are younger than older people, we all have issues all up and down the road of our lives. Some of us end up with folks older and some with younger for whatever reason. Age is not a number it is our age. Mature people tend to be mature no matter what age they are, and some smarten up as they go through life changing experiences and others remain Neanderthals until their dying days.

breatheasone -> RE: age (5/30/2009 8:37:01 PM)
my Master/Daddy has said on more than one occasion that He would not want someone much younger than He is. i guess its just personal preference.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: age (5/30/2009 10:26:12 PM)
For what it's worth on my end, the only reason that I at 37 would hesitate at taking someone under thirty is because I'm looking for a long term primary partner, and I've had my kids. I don't want to find our fourth, be in love with him the way I am with my husband and my girl, and then have him decide, "You know, I didn't realize it before, but my life won't be complete unless I make babies." A lot of people who are younger haven't worked out where they are on that. And that's okay, it's a big thing to work out either way you go, but I don't want our hearts broken because he hadn't worked it out already. (I'm currently in a FMf triad that we would like to make into a FMfm quad.)

LotusSong -> RE: age (5/30/2009 10:48:31 PM)
Someone saying one is mature "for their age".. isn't really a complement nor an affirmation of maturity. I have a cat that is very smart "for a cat".

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: age (5/31/2009 6:42:55 AM)
age gap is ok as long as it is not extreme people push the limits women that are in their 50s looksing for someone in their 20s or with 25 year gap it is not going to be a happy thing long term yeah there is always an exception but people never do the reality check health baggage ums and other things sometimes we rush with out thinking of those around you playing hollywood never is a real answer after all they are just actors when the show is over shrugs

allisonludwig -> RE: age (5/31/2009 6:53:05 AM)
I'm much younger than my husband/dominant. This only works for him, because I am very mature for my age. I feel more like 38, than 28. I've had a lot of life experience thus far and try to learn from it. Granted, when we first met, I was a little scatterbrained at times, but he did not have to parent me at all. He's not into having a baby girl kind of submissive, so every now and then the age difference is a little weird, as he is 4 years younger than my fater and 2 years younger than my mother. If I needed more guidance and direction, I don't think my age would be an asset for me then.

SaintSavant -> RE: age (6/1/2009 3:10:35 AM)
Although I try not to be, I have found myself to be a little ageist when I meet a young sub (although my idea of young is someone under 22 or so) because I am influenced by my experiences that women from their later 20s on up show a self-confidence and sense of self-worth that puts them more comfortably in the submissive role. That said, I have known remarkably confident young women in the past, and am friends now with an amazing 19 year old, who have proven me wrong.

CNJDom -> RE: age (6/1/2009 3:55:44 AM)
I feel that age is really not a factor (providing that it's legal age), but individually the person's developmental stage is. Maturity doesn't always come with age. I feel that enthusiasm and a willingness to learn is the chocolate sprinkles here for most. Who wants to invest time and effort into someone that either isn't mentally ready for training, or are jaded/self-centered through whatever means? If the goal is training, and the development of behavior patterns of submission and/or service willingly, then those with a will and desire to be guided/trained will rise to top of everyone's desirability scale. I feel that it's what's inside more than how old the package is. The stigma that older BDSMers feel is far and wide among all of us that have been around for a while. Some will choose to co-mingle with the younger crowd for a couple of reasons...vanity, self-serving fantasy, and the unwillingness to accept that THEY are getting older. If you go to a public play area or even a festival like the upcoming TESfest and FloatingWorld, you are going to find that generally everyone gets along fine. You will see the looks and hear the comments at times under the breaths of the younger and older kinksters, which will strike a dissonant chord in your heart. Things like "Whoa! that's way too old for play like that!" or "WTF! Look at all these old, fat, perverts" or "Geez, what a bunch of little inconsiderate brats...they think the place is just for them! They don't know squat...who let minors in here?!" Once in a while, you'll see a couple or group that defy these generalizations, but they are rare and are either looked on as freaks, or how nice and progressively positive, or something more malicious. Age shouldn't have so much the factor that it does, but it does...especially in a more casual sense; like talking about it here or just watching people generally. One one hand, we are talking about judging people by the cover. It's not only a form of shallowness that comes from looks, and age...but also a predjustice through however our minds have been programmed through experience and how we've taken things into our heads and processed them. The other comes from an internal fear of being catagorized and yet our need to catalog others. Cruel isn't it? A willingness and desire for interaction and training is stronger and more fulfilling than just one's age. I feel one must keep an open mind.

variation30 -> RE: age (6/1/2009 7:45:44 AM)
it depends on what you want. odds are, I would never marry or start a family with a woman my own age. but for what I'm looking for now, I'd wouldn't mind a slave who is "more naive, easier to train" and would prefer one with a "hot tight bodies, less baggage".

variation30 -> RE: age (6/1/2009 7:50:23 AM)
quote: more naive, easier to train, hot tight bodies, less baggage quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin I took about as much personal offense to your point as you did for Orions. But of course I am not 40 however as a younger person who 'experiences it daily' there is ageism against the younger people also. Of course if you can not see that in your post then I am sorry. However I was 'merely pointing out my opinion' of your post I am 24 and I cannot fathom what ageism I face in my day to day activities. ageism, like most other applications of 'isms', is a crock of shit for people who want to blame their own shortcomings on some type of mythical societal entity that holds them back at every turn. e.g. I didn't get that job because they are ageist against young people. as opposed to I didn't get that job because I don't have comparable work experience when compared to my competitors.

variation30 -> RE: age (6/1/2009 7:56:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi Honestly I haven't found this to be the case. I'm not doubting that the ageism exists but I just haven't found it to be true in my own life and I'm 47. In fact men my age, older, and younger, tell me exactly the opposite - that they want the older woman. They dont' have the young ums depending on them, they are more at peace with themselves and their lives, they generally have a decent, steady job and a whole lot more going on for them at this age. I hear from these men that there is a confidence and sexuality common to older women that is very attractive. it's also difficult to find a lovely feminine personality in a younger woman. while spending time with women who are <30, you just get something with a feminine body who also happens to have a personality. the only women whose personalities have attracted me have been over 35. they have an identity and who they are is more solidified which allows for a more stable connection to be formed that with a younger woman who flows around like a piece of driftwood in the ocean.

colouredin -> RE: age (6/1/2009 8:11:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: variation30 I am 24 and I cannot fathom what ageism I face in my day to day activities. ageism, like most other applications of 'isms', is a crock of shit for people who want to blame their own shortcomings on some type of mythical societal entity that holds them back at every turn. my point was her post was bigoted (making assumptions) towards younger people thus ageism I simply used the techniques that she did in her post to prove my point. Of course explaining it is a bit like having to tell someone why a joke is funny. ETA Some isms are perfectly valid in some circumstances, I agree we shouldnt use it as a go to term for everything but many people have experienced prejudice based on a fixed social characteristic ETA again quote: with a younger woman who flows around like a piece of driftwood in the ocean quote: while spending time with women who are <30, you just get something with a feminine body who also happens to have a personality Point proven I believe

variation30 -> RE: age (6/1/2009 8:27:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin my point was her post was bigoted (making assumptions) towards younger people thus ageism I simply used the techniques that she did in her post to prove my point. Of course explaining it is a bit like having to tell someone why a joke is funny. ETA Some isms are perfectly valid in some circumstances, I agree we shouldnt use it as a go to term for everything but many people have experienced prejudice based on a fixed social characteristic well, for starters making assumptions does not equate to bigotry. I make assumptions everyday because my world is not told in the third-person omniscient. every action I make is based upon imperfect knowledge. to make up for that lack of knowledge I use past experiences and information gained elsewhere to better inform my decisions. if I act in a certain way, it's because I assume my view is correct. if I choose not to take a very drunk girl back to my apartment because the last one threw up in my bed, am I making a bigoted assumption against people who have been drinking for four hours straight? if I refuse to walk near a theme park character because the last time I did one came up to me and annoyed me, am I making a bigoted assumption against people dressed up in goofy costumes? if I think that someone older than 70 is past their prime and has nothing left to offer me because 90% of the people I have met that age have been sitting sofas waiting for death, am I making a bigoted assumption against the elderly? I am certainly making assumptions, but what makes them bigoted? I'm curious as to how an individual could be a victim of a fixed social characteristic. societies don't act, they don't have prejudice...hell, they don't really exist in that way. only individuals can act or hold prejudices.

colouredin -> RE: age (6/1/2009 8:41:23 AM)
A fixed social characteristic = race age gender physical ability mental ability sexuality To say 'all young people' 'all women' 'all black people' is bigotry. Also opinions are fine, I can understand you form assumptions based on personal experience, thats cool too, but to apply a brush stroke comment about ALL people based on any of the above is by its definition bigotry.

GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: age (6/1/2009 8:47:26 AM)
The energy between my self and my subs is the TURN ON.... what happens when we are together... Two years ago I had 2 short term subs.. one was 19 and one was 73...each was unique and wonderful in their own way... *bp(19) had a look in his precious eys that melted by heart.[&:].when I held him in after care...the truest true surrender I have ever ever seen* fed(73) was a gentleman and a scholar...humourous ,attentive and sensual I actually get turned OFF when I get a message..** "You into young guys? "or "Do you like young subs?" I then feel this is ALL[:-] they feel they have to offer..or that perhaps they feel an older woman ( me)will jump at young...due to appearance etc.. Understandably HOT...bodies and youth are the hot thing to have in certain siutations and in the BDSM world as with anywhere else this can be a used for "social "leverage.. for several reasons but this is due to what CDJ DOM says "programming of our minds"..internal belief systems which can be "cruel"..indeed GQ

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