RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant)

RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant) (Full Version)

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naughtynick -> RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant) (2/9/2006 7:07:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold In all fairness to naughtynick, he has not been around that long, and he has been on the boards questioning his fantasy needs and his particular brand of search. He is now appropriately identifying as a bottom who is only interested in starting out with his main fantasy, and perhaps finding a few more fetishes along the way. But he is not seeking a relationship with specific submission. It might be a "do me" situation that is distasteful to the bulk of the Ladies here, but he is being honest and he just might find someone who is up for his fantasy. In all fairness to the Dominas here, naughtynick, you need to learn to separate your needs from the general questions on the board, especially in the Ask A Mistress forum. We are primarily seeking relationships which involve a good amount of submission and the fetish play is just a perk. So it doesn't help your case to say that most of the people you have run into are all talk and no action. These ladies want the talk, before they will even consider the action. You are much more focused in one area. It is fine for you to be so, but it is not the best idea to jump into a discussion that really doesn't apply to your situation, and try to force it to apply to your situation. Am I making any sense here? Yes you are making perfect sense and you are right. I am just new here and I don't have a full understanding to it. I am the type of person that is straight to the point. I don't lie or play mind games. I say what I want and I know it sounds bad to some people but for other people it doesn't. Every one has their different needs and there will always be someone that will scoff at yours. Maybe I should add to my profile more about myself and what the top gets out of this including if she likes my idea. My fantasy would be boring if it was done all the time. I have to be adventurous and try everything that the top wants to do also. I would do a few things that not many men would do. My hardest limits that are non negotiable are scat, kids, and animals. There are a few more but I couldn't be bothered explaining. For me, I think it is more important for the top to get everything she wants out of me than me getting everything I want out of her. She is the top and she is the domme. She is doing me a favour which also favours her. I am the bottom and I should be the one that is more submissive to her needs. What I say in my profile gives the top the idea of what I exactly want. There is no point getting involved with a top if my needs are not met to. So at least the top knows first off of what I want. Than I submit to what she wants, even things that I have never thought of doing before. That is most of the fun out of it. I am very open minded and keen to explore but I make it very clear that I don't want to be a slave or I don't want a whole relationship to revolve around BDSM. I want an ordinary loving relationship.

stef -> RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant) (2/9/2006 8:37:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: naughtynick So NO I am not a "DO ME, any mistress that wants a person to do house work or what ever would label me as a "DO ME" ,simply because I don't have the same type of desires as them. People seem shallow about this. Your new profile is much better and the whiff of "DO ME" has been swept away. Good job :) ~stef

naughtynick -> RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant) (2/9/2006 8:47:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: naughtynick So NO I am not a "DO ME, any mistress that wants a person to do house work or what ever would label me as a "DO ME" ,simply because I don't have the same type of desires as them. People seem shallow about this. Your new profile is much better and the whiff of "DO ME" has been swept away. Good job :) ~stef Thanks for the compliment :-)

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant) (2/9/2006 9:03:12 PM)
quote: Actually, I had read that thread. That was why I was trying to push for a vanilla meeting first. I was a bit uncomfortable with the "Your my slave, fall to you knees!" tone at the outset. It seemed a bit unbalanced, to be quite honest. But I also figured, since the person had only been online for about 6 months, that perhaps it was inexperience as well. I tried to go with the flow a bit, and see what developed. She looked attractive, our kinks meshed fairly well, so I thought there might be some chemistry if we met R/T. However, she really was only looking for someone to fill her online fantasies only, but wasn't honest enough to come out and say it. We're great about making excuses for things that send up red flags to us because those red flags interfere with what we hope is a possibility. I don't think anyone here hasn't been guilty of that at some time or another. The thing is - you have to listen to your big head and not your little one. Turn the discussion on real matters like is that person involved in local groups (a munch can be a good first meet arena), what they are like as a person. If the Domme you are talking to immediately pulls rank, then run and run fast ~ you can also bet that sooner or later she'll want a credit card number to continue with the hot chat :-) Not to be confused with wanting to wait a little while before divulging specifics like exactly where the person works or the like.

Evanesce -> RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant) (2/9/2006 9:32:13 PM)
quote: She also completely ignores my request to meet R/T. What I don't understand is how she expects to beat you if she won't meet you R/T. Telekenesis? What?

subfever -> RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant) (2/9/2006 10:24:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Beatmehrdr A few days ago, I get an email(with a rather revealing photo) via Collarme from a Domme who tells me she likes a boy who knows what he needs, that my pain would be her pleasure, and that she expects my submission to her whim. She also completely ignores my request to meet R/T. Again, she completely ignores the SECOND time I've asked to meet R/T. The odds that this "woman" sincerely represented who she is are so miniscule, that I would emotionally detach from this episode ASAP. The illogical part of a scenario like this is how many of us still become aroused by the tiny possibility of it being real.

brightspot -> RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant) (2/9/2006 10:37:49 PM)
quote: WTF?!? {rant} Under what rule does it say that just because a woman prefaces her name with the word Mistress, that I as a sub am compelled to get a raging hardon and present my ass into the air for any Trish, Dottie or Harriet at a moment's notice? Also, under what CollarMe rule of etiquette am I as a male sub required to spend time crafting the masturbatory fantasies of anyone who happens to type out the words "Mistress So and So" in their profile or emails?!? I don't email Dommes very often. I know you get deluged with email and unless I'm very serious but meeting someone(or I have something meaningful to say), I won't add to the deluge. Total, I think I've privately emailed maybe 10 Dommes at most here on CollarMe. I also don't get much if any email so I tend to respond if I think the person is genuine, even if it is to say "Thanks, but no thanks". This one was different. I had put energy into responding, and I thought it might have turned into something, had we talked on the phone and/or met in person. Instead, it was simply an attempt by her to get her dominant rocks off on a sub by doing a bit of cyber, and when I wasn't interested, I was "disobedient". I don't have time for this sht! Sorry for sounding so crass before, but I was feeling that you were using empathy as a way to "complain" even though you owned it was a rant. Only having been here on the boards for a bit you may not know how many of these kind of post's are made. A LOT! And it is usually by someone who has not tbeen here very long. Don't worry that probably won't be the first time this happens and it definately won't be the last. Tuffin' up a bit, for all you know you could have been talking to a young guy[;)]. Welcome to the boards, Brightspot

Beatmehrdr -> RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant) (2/10/2006 5:06:48 PM)
quote: Sorry for sounding so crass before, but I was feeling that you were using empathy as a way to "complain" even though you owned it was a rant. Only having been here on the boards for a bit you may not know how many of these kind of post's are made. A LOT! Don't sweat it. I've made contacts via CollarMe before, so this rant was directed at that person in particular, and not Dommes in general. The incident didn't turn me off of the chase entirely, just burned me up for a bit. In any event, it's a big ocean, and I'm certain there's a female shark that wants a bite out of this humble little salmon.

AAkasha -> RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant) (2/10/2006 5:17:30 PM)
If you never talked to her on the phone or interacted via web cam, the photo she sent might not have been her, and "she" might not have been a woman. This kind of very aggressive approach, combined with a sexy picture, is more the style of an online scam than a lifestyle femdom. The moment you started showing resistance/realism instead of turning into putty she backed off and gave you the blow off. If you had continued the conversation and fantasy-talk with her, the next step would be for her to set up a "play date" but demand a tribute from you to make sure you were serious. Akasha

veronicaofML -> RE: OK, I think I get it now(a mini-rant) (2/10/2006 5:42:03 PM)
ORIGINAL: naughtynick So NO I am not a "DO ME, any mistress that wants a person to do house work or what ever would label me as a "DO ME" ,simply because I don't have the same type of desires as them. People seem shallow about this. ============= there ya go nick! stick to your guns!

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