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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Okay, first, get used to the boards.   You asked for opinions, not only opinions that you would enjoy hearing.   Looking back at M's post, I don't see where she was sticking up for you especially, and I don't think we were ignoring her. 

In my opinion, you come off as brash, arrogant, and very sure that you know all the answers already.  I find that an interesting counterpoint to your self described "slave tendencies".  Not that slaves can't have minds of their own, of course, but I do expect them to be able to present themselves graciously. 

If you have been in and out of the scene for so long, how is it that you now claim to be inexperienced?  Mixed signals are a very bad thing...  

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ORIGINAL: newlychaste
I'm [...] not terribly experienced [...].

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ORIGINAL: AngelGeena

sounds really slave-ish to me.....  *snorts and smacks self...bad girl...bad bad*

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ORIGINAL: newlychaste
Red, something you said made me absolutely furious.  Everyone has buttons.  The comment you made was careless and insensitive, and it hit me like a punch in the face. 

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ORIGINAL: Lockit

Here's a bit of a story from someone old, take it for what its worth...

When I was very young...(don't you hate when people start like that?  I mean you could next hear of the depression or covered wagons, from someone acting superior and talking down to you... but give me a moment here!) I wasn't all that secure in myself.  I found new clothes, new friends, success and I found that men were attracted to me and no longer just high school boys.  I puffed myself up in my false bravodo, flirted my way through many situations and was rather brassy.  Had anyone deflated me, I would have been crushed but I didn't get crushed becasue there was enough intelligence and personality within.  I wasn't so offensive that other's noticed my insecurity.

I saw success as wealth and I was on my way.  I bought two homes, impressed lots of people and had a life plan.  Everyone knew I would be a very rich woman because I had it all going for me.  This helped me to be even more confident outwardly, but inside, I wasn't all that.  I walked tall... I smiled a lot... I had it goin on... except for one little problem few could see.  I always picked apart... me.

I didn't grow into that outward confidence until sometime later.  But until I did, I was a true trooper in the war of insecurity.

Oh chaste one... listen and listen well.  That false bravodo and material things will not lead you to true inner security.  You say here on this thread that you have had some self image issues and in your new and improved profile, you state that you are sometimes defensive.  Defensive comes from insecurity.  It leads to passive aggressive and angry.

While you may have come a long way, you still have a way to go and some of us older folk... depression or not... success or not, as you may see it, we have our worth sometimes in life experiences and know things that you cannot know and that we could not know at a tender age.  While it is hard to take what may seem to be an attack, I think you would do well to consider that these things said to you can be a challenge more than an attack.  Once you see them as a challenge, the defense is gone and you can benefit from the remarks, whether or not they will actually apply to you at any time.

In our twenties we are often trying to find our place in the world rather than just being in the world.  We often perceive things as something we later will find no real worth in.  It is wise one screams to the world to live a certain way and know certain successes and plan that future and I give you credit for that.  But one day you may see another way and will view success as something different.

In all my wisdom and worldly experiences... I have learned that success doesn't need to come in worldy goods or a pension plan.  These things are wonderful indeed and make life easier, but I know many with these things and much more who are lonely, sad individuals who have not succeeded in what is really most important in life.  People, love, laughter and happiness are the finer things to succeed in.

As well as I started out... I end ill and have lost most everything.  I live in a mobile home and dress modestly and yet I am happy, fulfilled and have some of those finer things.  I wouldn't change anything because I have had a wealth of experiences and explorations in life.  I made it in life... I succeeded and was even a public figure in my community and yet, I spend most days here pretty much alone, loving my family and caring for a brain damaged son.  Would you consider me a failure?  Would you see me as less?  Would you consider I was not superior becasue of these things?

I do not feel that one must be superior to be a dominant especially not in material things.  I don't need to be superior, for I know who I am and I don't need to lord over anyone.  I am happy with who I am... and I know who I am... and although I may be better at certain things that some others, I am less able in other things.  But I give you my word on something...  Anyone who knows me... who really knows me... knows the mind I have, the heart I have and knows... I am worth far greater things than what you see success as.

Work on building a foundation built on personal security in who you are... not what you have... Then the defense will come crumbling down and you will be free... free to love and give and take and not have so much to worry about.  Don't look for superior things in a dominant.  Look for someone who will value you and who value's themself because when all is said and done... all other things can be lost and never found again... but in who you are... is the value and that can never be lost.

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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
I don't even know what it was that I said that pushed your button.  I didn't insult you.  I didn't even talk about you.  Good luck.

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ORIGINAL: newlychaste

Red, something you said made me absolutely furious.  Everyone has buttons.  The comment you made was careless and insensitive, and it hit me like a punch in the face.  At that point, it was "screw you, for these reasons:"  Congratulations, sir--you made me angry. 

Alright, I used the word "attacked"--perhaps too strong a word.
Would it be fair to say that I have been (with aforementioned exceptions, with the addition of GypzyQueen) generally condescended-toward, misquoted, and deliberately misunderstood?  If not, well, excuse me, but that's how it seems.

As far as "the personality trait I'm exhibiting right now" goes, well, I'm going to need you to be more specific.

------
"The Dude abides."

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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
My point is that the highly successful people I know almost never talk this way.  They tend to talk about how much of life they don't understand, and act genuinely curious in the viewpoints of others.  They got good at whatever they got good at, by paying attention to other people, not just themselves.

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newlychaste
... and with regard to the arrogance, well, I am generally humble, but there's a time and place for it, in my opinion

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I won't give myself to anyone who's just picked up a flogger and calls herself a Domme

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nor will I feel a sense of humility in the presence of someone who is not literally my superior.  That's truth in advertising.  Granted, it may be a little off-putting, but it will save me more unnecessary false starts

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Anyway, I was curious about more general interest, not necessarily to have my profile critiqued.

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look for when viewing the profile of a submissive man?  Consider tone, length, content

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Duuuuuuuuude, why the bloody hell would you get upset over pixels on a screen?!?!? [...] However, if you are going to get your panties in a wad over them, perhaps you need to reconsider using the net to interact with other people....

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I went back and read what Red had to say, and I guess it makes sense that we're friends, because I don't see him being mean here, or attacking. I DID see the OP's original profile as arrogant and abrasive, and generally not the kind of profile I would return to.    I'm glad to see that he has changed it substantially, and made it much more inviting.

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ORIGINAL:  breatheasone
This was awesome.

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ORIGINAL:  RedMagic1
And yet, I am powerless.  I know nothing about you, except for a handful of posts you have made on this thread.  I mean nothing to you; you have no way to verify whether the story I told you is even true.  I don't even know what it was that I said that pushed your button.  I didn't insult you.  I didn't even talk about you.  I talked about what I have heard and seen in my own life, and said that if you saw a connection, you might consider doing X thing.