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RE: Facial Bruising? - 5/31/2009 7:43:38 PM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		I've always enjoyed face slapping......definitely an attention getter <laugh>
In the past i've never had a problem with bruising....but the last person i played with left me with a bruise just above my jaw line.  Since it wasn't done with any more force than i have experienced in the past;  the only thing we could figure out was perhaps the repetition.  Wasn't a big deal though....it's one of those risk aware activities we engage in....put a little make-up over it and went on with life.....

I will admit each time i saw it in the mirror it made me smile and think of the Man who gave it to me and what we were doing at the time <wicked grin>

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 5/31/2009 7:46:32 PM   
Joseff


Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		The only thing I have to say on the subject is that facial bruises, especially if repeated, are a public sign that screams abuse. I am not saying that it is abuse, but anyone in public is likely to see it that way, and that can bring on some unwelcome attention. There are parts of my life where I don't want my personal kink to be public knowledge, I don't want anyone to think I'm abusing my wife, either. 

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/1/2009 2:30:07 AM   
SaintSavant


Posts: 30
Joined: 4/25/2009
Status: offline 		I can't say I have ever had a sub who bruised so easily on her face, but yes, it is the only mark that would bother me.

There's a reason for such a stigma to be attached to a woman with a bruised face. Presumably, we are all talking about it, accidently or not, in a consensual setting. With the levels of domestic abuse going on out there, if you saw a woman on the street with that bruise, the chances are that she wasn't a willing participant.

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/1/2009 2:50:40 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		This is one (but not the only) reason that face slapping is a hard limit for me. I bruise very easily, and don't really fancy explaining a nasty bruise on my jaw/ cheek or a black eye to my boss or nilla friends, let alone having them think I'm a victim of domestic abuse, should such bruises appear on a semi-regular basis. Don't get me wrong, I truly love marks and bruises from play, I just prefer to avoid the drama and misguided concern that tends to result from appearing in public with bruises on my face.

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/1/2009 6:07:27 AM   
Daddystouch


Posts: 162
Joined: 10/20/2006
From: South East England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xiam

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddystouch

I've never left bruises from slapping per se. Have left bruises from punching though. She didn't mind. In fact I think we both got off on people seeing her like that the next day.


More info on this punching, please!

What would you like to know? It's pretty simple really. Maybe I'd feel the urge, and hit her... or sometimes she'd feel the urge. Sometimes she would deliberately try and coax me into hitting her, insulting me and disobeying me and stuff, generally being a brat. Other times she'd beg me to punch her. Either way, the end result was the same - usually a split lip and a lot of rough sex ^__^

< Message edited by Daddystouch -- 6/1/2009 6:11:33 AM >

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/1/2009 9:09:12 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I have severe tmj so someone whacking me in the face hard enough to bruise me would be a problem.  It's kind of convenient (If impaired mobility and sometimes immense pain can be considered convenient, lol!) as the idea of someone slapping or hitting me in the face pisses me off; strikes me as disrespectful. 
  Davan

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/1/2009 10:15:45 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		I regularly get face slapped for being mouthy but have never had a bruise, though I have had a few split lips. I don't think its that he holds back with his slap but more that my face just doesn't bruise that easily.
I would not be happy walking round with a bruised face for the simple reason that our vanilla friends and my work colleagues would possibly start whispering and the thought of someone thinking badly of my man (which they would do) would just have that protective side of me coming out. I don't get off on vanilla folk thinking I have an abusive partner. Men that really abuse women are the scum of the earth and I have enough vanilla male friends that would see my partner in the gutter if they thought something like that was going on.



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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/1/2009 4:49:55 PM   
sublace


Posts: 201
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

the idea of someone slapping or hitting me in the face pisses me off; strikes me as disrespectful. 
  Davan


To me, it's a form of humiliation rather than a beating. So yes - I agree it's disrespectful and insulting. Not as bad as spitting though.

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/1/2009 6:47:44 PM   
ChasingOblivion


Posts: 125
Joined: 5/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

No, I haven't..but it wouldn't bother me in the least.  I like to be marked though, so for me it's just the same as any other bruise.  I could always cover it up with make-up if I needed to, and it would sure be a lot easier for me to admire than a bruise on my ass. 

Alas, I am harder than heck to bruise..so I doubt this will ever happen. 

BTW, for those that are against face slapping, that is your prerogative and my kink doesn't have to be yours.  There is a huge difference between a man beating a woman in the face, and the slapping that is done by my Master.  My only complaint is I don't get slapped enough

SB


I agree and I don't get slapped near enough either. Although I wish I had your problem, lol. I bruise like a peach.
As for public, I couldn't care less what people think and staring is incredibly low-class.

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/1/2009 7:32:11 PM   
marysdream


Posts: 126
Joined: 5/31/2008
Status: offline 		nope...face slapping is a hard limit for me, bet those marks are hard to explain lol!
ree

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/1/2009 8:33:20 PM   
ChasingOblivion


Posts: 125
Joined: 5/19/2009
Status: offline 		Not hard to explain at all. "I like to be slapped, it gets me off." Anyone who knows me knows better than to ask me questions they might not want the answers to. Anyone who doesn't know me should be minding their own business.

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/2/2009 6:52:42 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin


quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I bruise quite easily so yeah slapping often results in bruising for me. I rarely wear make up and don't bother when i have a bruise. To me it's just another bruise that i can admire


ohhh isnt that possibly offensive to others :P


Yeah possibly if i tell them how i got it !!
 

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/2/2009 6:57:18 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChasingOblivion

Not hard to explain at all. "I like to be slapped, it gets me off." Anyone who knows me knows better than to ask me questions they might not want the answers to. Anyone who doesn't know me should be minding their own business.

i'm a BIG time pain slut PERIOD, but if a saw a woman walking around with facial bruising, i would NOT assume she was the same so no, sorry.....abuse IS my business


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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/2/2009 8:08:12 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChasingOblivion

Not hard to explain at all. "I like to be slapped, it gets me off." Anyone who knows me knows better than to ask me questions they might not want the answers to. Anyone who doesn't know me should be minding their own business.

i'm a BIG time pain slut PERIOD, but if a saw a woman walking around with facial bruising, i would NOT assume she was the same so no, sorry.....abuse IS my business

But you would be making the wrong assumption then, wouldn't you IF she were a woman like "Chasing Oblivion"?  or silkncarol?  or misst?  or allthatjazz?  While I agree that abuse is anyone's business, the examples of these ladies highlight that not everything we see is what we oftentimes think it is...or even might be.  Wouldn't the simplest way to handle things in a situation like that, if you are truly concerned, be to ask quietly "excuse me, I just want to make sure you were a willing participant to that bruising".  Of course, the problem comes in then when the person being asked says "yes"...and is lying OR when the person being asked says "none of your business" because she was abused but is afraid of what will happen if others find out OR because she was a willing participant to play but doesn't care to share that information.
A bit of a quandary, eh?

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/2/2009 8:26:07 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChasingOblivion

Not hard to explain at all. "I like to be slapped, it gets me off." Anyone who knows me knows better than to ask me questions they might not want the answers to. Anyone who doesn't know me should be minding their own business.

i'm a BIG time pain slut PERIOD, but if a saw a woman walking around with facial bruising, i would NOT assume she was the same so no, sorry.....abuse IS my business

But you would be making the wrong assumption then, wouldn't you IF she were a woman like "Chasing Oblivion"?  or silkncarol?  or misst?  or allthatjazz?  While I agree that abuse is anyone's business, the examples of these ladies highlight that not everything we see is what we oftentimes think it is...or even might be.  Wouldn't the simplest way to handle things in a situation like that, if you are truly concerned, be to ask quietly "excuse me, I just want to make sure you were a willing participant to that bruising".  Of course, the problem comes in then when the person being asked says "yes"...and is lying OR when the person being asked says "none of your business" because she was abused but is afraid of what will happen if others find out OR because she was a willing participant to play but doesn't care to share that information.
A bit of a quandary, eh?

.
Your right. If I saw a woman with a black eye or a bruised face I wouldn't be asking her (unless she was a friend or relative). We are not walking therapists that have a right to intervene and even if we did we are not going to get the right answer. My ex once stepped in when he saw a man punch his woman. She quickly pulled herself together and told my ex to 'f-ck off'!! perhaps she was into BDSM but I somehow doubt that.
Thinking about it, how many of us have seen women walking around with bruised faces?. Its certainly not a regular occurrence even within a BDSM environment.
I do wonder why a woman would be proud to show off the bruises on her face though? Is it because she wants people to think she is being abused?

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/2/2009 9:04:34 AM   
Daddystouch


Posts: 162
Joined: 10/20/2006
From: South East England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
I do wonder why a woman would be proud to show off the bruises on her face though? Is it because she wants people to think she is being abused?


This is exactly what my lady friend felt. She loved the shame of it, the embarrassment, how it showed in the most shocking and easily understood terms (to vanilla and kinky alike) that she was subject to another's will and arbitrary violence.

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/2/2009 10:24:22 AM   
silvermuse


Posts: 259
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline 		Although I love face slapping bruises are something we have to be careful about.

We have UM's, and regardless of the slap, strike being consensual, a bruise in the wrong place might affect the UM's.



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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/2/2009 12:10:45 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I answered someone's post above but I wanted to say this:  I really like face-slapping.  I had done it off and on with my first submissive but with my second, we had to worry about her kids and she had health issues that precluded much contact to the face. 

There is something about it...its primal nature, its ability to quickly gain a submissive's attention whether used to do so outside of play or within play, the shock (sometimes) and then, the look that comes over her face...sometimes fear of another strike, sometimes anticipation of another strike, sometimes wicked enjoyment of this strike...the short, succinct, silent acknowledgement of the control AND the controlled brutality that exists within the dynamic not just at this moment but at all moments.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/2/2009 3:59:52 PM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		There is a lot of facial slapping in my home, small bruises happen all the time and are treated as bruises and cuts anywhere else are treated, It is another mark from an experience that we both enjoyed :)

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RE: Facial Bruising? - 6/2/2009 5:03:20 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChasingOblivion

Not hard to explain at all. "I like to be slapped, it gets me off." Anyone who knows me knows better than to ask me questions they might not want the answers to. Anyone who doesn't know me should be minding their own business.


bingo.


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