You did WHAT?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

You did WHAT?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> You did WHAT?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

You did WHAT? - 6/2/2009 11:37:59 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

Good thing this one speaks for itself, because for the life of me, I can't think of a thing to say.

quote:

COLUMBIA, S.C. — Authorities revoked the licenses of a South Carolina funeral home and its director after he admitted one of his employees cut the legs of a 6-foot-7 man without the family's permission so the corpse would fit in a casket.

The state Board of Funeral Service voted unanimously Monday to close Cave Funeral Home in Allendale. The board also fined funeral director Michael Cave $500 and ordered him to pay $1,500 for the investigation.

In an agreement with the board, Cave said employees never told James Hines' family that his body might not fit in a standard casket. An unlicensed worker, Charles G. Cave, cut the legs with an electric saw without consulting relatives. Hines' widow has said his legs had been cut off between the ankle and calf and put back in the coffin, but the document didn't detail exactly what happened.

Michael Cave did not immediately return messages left at his home and business Tuesday. A phone number listed for a Charles Cave in Allendale was disconnected.

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time...

quote:

The widow threatened to sue Cave Funeral Home and the business agreed to settle out of court as long as she did not tell anyone how much she received.

Of course they agreed to settle. Clearly, they did not have a leg to stand on!

_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/2/2009 11:42:07 PM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

Panda Panda Panda....

That last line was sooooooooo bad!!!!

_____________________________

My fave Thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_2626198/mpage_1/tm.htm

One time "Phallus Expert Extraordinaire"

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/2/2009 11:44:51 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

Panda Panda Panda....

That last line was sooooooooo bad!!!!

You're right. I'm sure someone will come along and chop me off at the knees for it.

_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

(in reply to hlen5)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/2/2009 11:45:35 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

At least none of the body parts were thrown away or sold.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/2/2009 11:46:58 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

Good point. If he were an elephant, they would have made umbrella stands out of them!

_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

(in reply to Vendaval)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/3/2009 12:35:24 AM

TheHeretic

Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline

     Same last name on the employee who did the deed, as on the owner. A dumbass nephew, maybe?

     Honestly though, I'm 6'2" and I have trouble fitting into standard size stuff on occasion. Are we supposed to believe his family didn't know he never took a 'standard' anything?

     Around here, the mortuary would have called the most vulnerable member of the family about two hours before the service, and insisted on cash for the longer casket, and if the ensuing drama didn't produce a bigger payday for them, then a 'remains remediation' fee would have been tacked on for chopping him down.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/3/2009 2:04:00 AM

flowerchicknz

Posts: 53
Joined: 4/23/2009
Status: offline

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rigor_mortis
"...The body may only move, after Rigor Mortis has set in, if put into a below freezing temperature, and forty-five minutes later switched to a higher temperature. Repeat this cycle to get the muscles moving..."

What wusses, they were squeamish about jumping into a spa pool with a corpse, so they could make the legs floppy enough to fold?

"...a process known as electrical stimulation is carried out, especially in beef carcass, immediately after slaughter and skinning. In this process, the carcass is stimulated with alternating current, causing it to contract and relax, which depletes the ATP reserve from the carcass and prevents cold shortening...."

Who's got a taser? Two tasers, one for corpsy and the other for the morons.

(in reply to TheHeretic)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/3/2009 2:21:41 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

Of course they agreed to settle. Clearly, they did not have a leg to stand on!

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/3/2009 4:28:30 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

So, now they have short selling in the funerals market too?

Where will it end? (apart from "at around 6ft")

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/3/2009 6:51:42 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Just did a quickie research and the standard coffin size is only 5'9". I think I'd have had other things to think about, but I would never have thought that the standard would be that short. Yer in trouble. Rich especially, cuz, yanno, Soylent Green is people. Just sayin'.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/3/2009 6:54:04 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Just did a quickie research and the standard coffin size is only 5'9". I think I'd have had other things to think about, but I would never have thought that the standard would be that short. Yer in trouble. Rich especially, cuz, yanno, Soylent Green is people. Just sayin'.

i am pretty sure the body shrinks after the fluids are removed.

(oh suuuuure....a fast way to lose weight and you are too dead to enjoy it)

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/3/2009 7:20:42 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

dammit, Celeste.. now I wanna see that movie again...

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/3/2009 7:32:47 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

Maybe they just wanted to get a LEG UP on the issue?

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/3/2009 7:35:40 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Just did a quickie research and the standard coffin size is only 5'9". I think I'd have had other things to think about, but I would never have thought that the standard would be that short. Yer in trouble. Rich especially, cuz, yanno, Soylent Green is people. Just sayin'.

i am pretty sure the body shrinks after the fluids are removed.

(oh suuuuure....a fast way to lose weight and you are too dead to enjoy it)

Er, may I ask how you're sure, Holly? You look pretty harmless in your photo. Is that a misconception?

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to sirsholly)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/3/2009 8:10:48 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Just did a quickie research and the standard coffin size is only 5'9". I think I'd have had other things to think about, but I would never have thought that the standard would be that short. Yer in trouble. Rich especially, cuz, yanno, Soylent Green is people. Just sayin'.

i am pretty sure the body shrinks after the fluids are removed.

(oh suuuuure....a fast way to lose weight and you are too dead to enjoy it)

Er, may I ask how you're sure, Holly? You look pretty harmless in your photo. Is that a misconception?

i had the thrill of working with a coroner when i was in school.

And it was a thrill...i was fascinated

.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: You did WHAT? - 6/3/2009 8:42:30 AM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

Another *GROAN* for the leg to stand on statement

Now, as for my coffin, just cremeate me and toss my ashes in the river...no funeral expense for me!

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to sirsholly)

Profile

Post #: 16