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replies and profiles - 2/9/2006 3:08:17 PM

rz350

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline

I have found that aprox of 90% of the Mistress's I IM on collarme never reply at all. I always write respectfully, carefully, and to the best of my grammer and spelling know how. Now I understand someone may just not be intrested, but why can They not write bcak and say so. I make a point to reply to each and every single person who writes me. I understand that You Misstress's probably get a large amout of email, but still, I just wonder why it is so rare to get a reply, if even if its a simple "not intrested in you cause <reason> "

To expand on that, are there any tips/pieces of advise on how to write Mistress's I do always stay respectful and use my best English. Anything beyond that?

Thanks for reading/answering.

Post #: 1

RE: replies and profiles - 2/9/2006 3:12:54 PM

DianeB

Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline

I almost always reply to my messages. There are a few i've read and deleted.

Diane

quote:

ORIGINAL: rz350

I have found that aprox of 90% of the Mistress's I IM on collarme never reply at all. I always write respectfully, carefully, and to the best of my grammer and spelling know how. Now I understand someone may just not be intrested, but why can They not write bcak and say so. I make a point to reply to each and every single person who writes me. I understand that You Misstress's probably get a large amout of email, but still, I just wonder why it is so rare to get a reply, if even if its a simple "not intrested in you cause <reason> "

To expand on that, are there any tips/pieces of advise on how to write Mistress's I do always stay respectful and use my best English. Anything beyond that?

Thanks for reading/answering.

(in reply to rz350)

Post #: 2

RE: replies and profiles - 2/9/2006 3:24:34 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

I almost ALWAYS respond one way or the other to every email I get. It would have to be a really bad one for me to ignore it.

_____________________________

(in reply to rz350)

Post #: 3

RE: replies and profiles - 2/9/2006 3:24:56 PM

SimplyV

Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

Umm.. Don't kiss my ass and don't presume to know me.

I had a guy today state that he just knew that he'd love my "dominance" style. The only thing he knew about me was my profile.

*sighs* I'm not to be underestimated, and sure as hell don't like people making assumptions.

I think it was veronicaofML who listed in another post somewhere the rules (which I just love btw).

"rule #1
She is right even when She is wrong
check
rule #2
even when She is wrong..see rule #1
check
rule #3
he cant change rules 1 and 2
check
rule #4
he has no idea of when Her rules change, since they can change without oral or written notice
check
rule #5
in the event he figures out all Her rules, see rule #4"

Never assume to know her, even when you do.

(in reply to rz350)

Post #: 4

RE: replies and profiles - 2/9/2006 3:27:47 PM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

I must have received well over a 100 in a few days and replied to almost all of them. I admit that there were some I deleted without a reply. I copy and paste general instructions but I always try to at least say/type something.

Maybe it's how you are writing your letters. I hate long missions unless I ask for them. I think the best letters are like this;

Dear Goddess Dianna, (I hate when the don't know my name or it looks like the same mail they have sent a 100 times)

My name is paul. I am 23 years old and I live in *****. I've read your profile and I have read your post. (research is good, sounds sincere interest for the woman). I especially liked your views on ****** (reference to a post) and I feel that we have much in common. I have very little experience, however if given permission, I would beg for the chance to serve You at any capaicty YOU see fit.

END

_____________________________

(in reply to DianeB)

Post #: 5

RE: replies and profiles - 2/9/2006 3:56:45 PM

rz350

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline

Thanks to everyone for Your replies. :) I never do write long winded emails, nor pretend to know the Domme. i shall keep all Your advice in mind for sure.

may i ask what a bad IM is?

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 6

RE: replies and profiles - 2/9/2006 3:57:22 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

I also answer all emails, even if it is just a "Thank youfor your interest, but..."
In addition to the excellent advice you have already been given, you might want to look at who you are contacting. Are they Ladies who indicate an interest in someone of your age? You are very young. Are they Ladies who seem open to a long distance relationship and cyber training/domination, if you are not local.
And you do need to look at what you are writing. Your profile seems intelligently written, so I would guess that you are writing a nice letter. Unforutnately, there are many on this site (not the Ladies on these boards!) who do not bother to reply. So it is hard for us to address this complaint over and over agian, when it really doesn't apply to most of us. The only thing I do not reply to, and I am not even seeking at this time, are one liners.
Toughen up. Rome wasn't built in a day, and a D/s relationship is much more complicated than that!

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to rz350)

Post #: 7

RE: replies and profiles - 2/9/2006 4:06:52 PM

rz350

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline

i will try to toughen up a bit, tho it doesnt much bother me persay, i was just curious more then anything. Too see if i could gain a bit of insight. Thank You for Your sound advice as well.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 8

RE: replies and profiles - 2/9/2006 6:12:05 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

I reply to everything, unless there's something blatently disrespectful in there, like very sexually explicit first email, or genital photos (not that I have anything against genitals, I'd rather say hello to your face first).
Also learn to use the "search" button at top right hand corner of forums because this one (no replies) people talk about very frequently. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to rz350)

Post #: 9

RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 4:30:41 AM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

I have found that aprox of 90% of the Mistress's I IM on collarme never reply at all. I always write respectfully, carefully, and to the best of my grammer and spelling know how. Now I understand someone may just not be intrested, but why can They not write bcak and say so. I make a point to reply to each and every single person who writes me.

The first thing I would tell you, is that in my experience, the ladies that you are addressing here, right now,{at least the ones I am familiar with} are the exception rather than the rule - Straight up. So, you're in good hands here.

The second and last thing I will say.... {My personal advice} When you write to any Lady... lose all the fantasy bull shit {They are not dumb!}, treat them like you should any woman, with heartfelt honor and respect - It goes a long ways.

Best wishes.

- The Ranger

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to rz350)

Post #: 10

RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 4:48:35 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

This topic has been addressed many times.

I don't reply to every email I receive, but I explained why I won't in my profile. If the simple indicators I have asked for are not included in the email sent to me... I won't answer. If I receive the dreaded one-liner, I won't reply. If the person is married, I won't reply. If the person is obviously looking for play & lives a great distance away, I won't reply. If the person is seeking online domination or cam sessions, I won't reply.

If any of these types email me & then whine that I don't reply... well they should have taken that little advice I offered early in my profile.... "Though long, Please read my entire profile before replying. It can save us all a lot of time & most likely prevent your reply from being deleted or sent in the first place."

I have mentioned sending the polite not interested reply, but I am thinking about removing that. Every time I do send this... it is followed by one to several more emails. The tone ranges from polite "please reconsider Ma'am" to the sour-grape "You're a fake" & countless other bitter replies.

Just what is the complaint here guys? You write an email & it is ignored.

You will never get anywhere if you don't try & don't expect every attempt to produce results.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to rz350)

Post #: 11

RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 5:42:07 AM

friskiesub

Posts: 49
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline

Hi everyone. I'm a GWF (newsub) and found this post very informative. I just wish there were a "training" place for folks before they meet their match. Too often I find myself too eager/forward which may be a turnoff for most Doms. This may sound rather "out there" and please don't laugh...I often have difficulty knowing what to/what not to write. Thanks for all the advice. Looking forward to learning even more.

(in reply to rz350)

Post #: 12

RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 5:56:16 AM

MysticalPhoenix

Posts: 212
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Kelloggsville, Vanilla County MI
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rz350

I have found that aprox of 90% of the Mistress's I IM on collarme never reply at all. I always write respectfully, carefully, and to the best of my grammer and spelling know how. Now I understand someone may just not be intrested, but why can They not write bcak and say so. I make a point to reply to each and every single person who writes me. I understand that You Misstress's probably get a large amout of email, but still, I just wonder why it is so rare to get a reply, if even if its a simple "not intrested in you cause <reason> "

To expand on that, are there any tips/pieces of advise on how to write Mistress's I do always stay respectful and use my best English. Anything beyond that?

Thanks for reading/answering.

I fail to see why the fact that someone sends me an email obligates me to respond. I've been using online personal ad sites for a number of years, and I've developed a tough email policy. And, yes, I've had enough responses over the years to calculate statistics.

If the person has obviously looked at my picture and not read my profile (when I specify things like age and location, and they aren't even close), I don't reply. If the person has read my profile, but states that although they don't fit what I'm looking for, they are really what I want, I don't reply. If the person has copied and pasted their profile and sent it to me in lieu of an original email, I don't reply. If they have sent me an obvious form letter (Dear <Insert name of Dominant Female here> I am on my knees before the computer worshipping your picture, and I wish to serve you by having you <insert favorite bdsm fantasy here>...), I don't reply. If they talk about sex or ask for sex, I don't reply. IF THEY WRITE TO ME IN ALL CAPS, I don't reply. Ef thay kant spel or youse punktooashun I don't reply. If they write to me in chatspeak, I don't reply. If they send me a picture of their penis, I don't reply. If the picture shows someone who I find unappealing, I don't reply. If they are married, I don't reply. If the person's email or profile sets off any other red flags, I don't reply. If they've sent me multiple emails before I've even had a chance to read the first one, I don't reply. If they ask for a pro session, I don't reply.

And I don't reply to the above people for two good reasons. 1. I'm not intersted in them. 2. Because if I write to them and am honest about why I'm rejecting them, I have a 90% chance of getting a nasty response in return.

If I write to them and give them a polite rejection that doesn't say why, I will either (50% chance) get a nasty response in return, or (50% chance) some sort of bargainging response. "It's your loss," is a perennial post rejection favorite. (How can I feel any sense of loss, when I reject someone I don't have any interest in getting to know?) I have learned this the hard way. I used to write back to everyone, and either give them a polite rejection, or express interest. I got a great deal of mail I didn't want to read. I also had a lot of my time wasted by people I had no interest in ever meeting.

If someone sends an email that's obviously directed at me, personally, fits the criteria named in my profile, includes a picture of their face (and I find that face appealing), and uses the language correctly, I do reply. At some point, I may give them a polite rejection. If their response to that polite rejection is hostile, rude or offensive, I don't reply.

I have found this policy works very well for me. It ensures that when I am looking for someone via a personal ad site, that I am spending my time on the people who do interest me, and not on the people who don't.

Phoenix

< Message edited by MysticalPhoenix -- 2/10/2006 6:01:40 AM >

_____________________________

---------------------------------------------------------
Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are.

(in reply to rz350)

Post #: 13

RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 6:10:02 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

Hi everyone. I'm a GWF (newsub) and found this post very informative. I just wish there were a "training" place for folks before they meet their match. Too often I find myself too eager/forward which may be a turnoff for most Doms. This may sound rather "out there" and please don't laugh...I often have difficulty knowing what to/what not to write. Thanks for all the advice. Looking forward to learning even more.

Basically, treat the Domme like a human being. Be polite, respectful, but not passive (i.e., don't wave to her and say you're there, then expect her to take over in pursuing you).

You should read "The Courtship of a Dominant Woman" by Ms. Erika, which to me is absolutely essential reading for every sub. It's posted on my webpage: www.hometown.aol.com/victoriansadist

If you want to email me offlist, I can look up a DC area women in BDSM group I have somewhere.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to friskiesub)

Post #: 14

RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 6:29:20 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rz350

Thanks to everyone for Your replies. :) I never do write long winded emails, nor pretend to know the Domme. i shall keep all Your advice in mind for sure.

may i ask what a bad IM is?

A bad IM? Hmmm, only about 50 recent emails come to mind...

1) I would love for you to....

2) Want to hook up?

3) You have the most beautiful lips to wrap around my...

4) I will be in Nashville for business...

5) Married but looking for discreet...

6) Do you do...?

7) What would you do to me?

8) Tell me...

9) Make me...

10) Bet you can't...

11) Hey!

12) Check out my profile and let me know what you think!

13) I attached pics! (naked)

14) I love to use my tongue...

15) I can eat _____ for hours.

are you getting the idea?????

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to rz350)

Post #: 15

RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 7:00:33 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

16. Phone domination?

(from a self-proclaimed Houseboy - is he looking for someone to order him to vacuum his living room?)

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 2/10/2006 7:01:22 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Post #: 16

RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 7:17:12 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

16. Phone domination?

(from a self-proclaimed Houseboy - is he looking for someone to order him to vacuum his living room?)

LMAO--Here is My newest one:

17. I know you have a boy but how about I webcam My _____to entertain you

WTF????

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 17

RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 7:21:13 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

LMAO--Here is My newest one:

17. I know you have a boy but how about I webcam My _____to entertain you

WTF????

entertain you??? Does he dress it up in little costumes and have it sing and dance?

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 18

RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 7:29:19 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

Now I understand someone may just not be intrested, but why can They not write bcak and say so

Their NOT writing back is them saying so.

To be honest, if the answer is "no", sometimes it's just easier to not respond. If you do respond with a "thanks but no thanks", it often opens a floodgate of either them pleading with you to change your mind, or using it as an opportunity to be abusive, or the like.

Granted, I do feel it's appropriate of me to respond if someone has put in time and effort writing to me. But I've also experienced the above response more times than I can count from those I've said no thank you to.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 2/10/2006 7:31:25 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to rz350)

Post #: 19

RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 8:30:57 AM

LthrdWolf

Posts: 92
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Like anything I think it is per situation for me rather than saying I respond to all,or even most.I was going to say the latter,but even that is not totally accurate,as there is a mix of those I have let slip by unanswered for one usually Good reason or another.

LthrdWolf ...re tips for mailing a Dominant besides -Be Respectful- Assume Nothing.Do not use 'W/we' in any statements as that is an assumption.Use 'i' pronouns,when saying things.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 20

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