Eternal Honeymoon (Full Version)

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WiseCracknSadist -> Eternal Honeymoon (6/4/2009 1:13:13 PM)

I was going over things in my head trying to make connections between experiences, wants/needs, and what brought me to the lifestyle.

I won't bore you with a life history, but I did come to an interesting conclusion.

The reason I prefer poly and Dom/sub relationships is because I love the way a woman treats you during the honeymoon stage. They're always so sweet and accomodating, willing to do anything for you.

I realized that I was looking for a relationship that was in an eternal honeymoon stage.

Now there's more to it with my sadistic nature and my need to be in control, but I feel that it boils down to the eternal honeymoon.

Does this describe anyone else? Does anyone draw similarities?




colouredin -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/4/2009 1:25:09 PM)

Hmm no.

Its not an eternal honey moon because it takes work, it isnt just magically there. To be honest I never really have honeymoon phases in my relationships anyways.



leadership527 -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/4/2009 1:43:00 PM)

For the record, my wife and I had a GREAT honeymoon... Private villa in Kauai, yada yada... Now, after 15 years, I routinely say that most average days for us are better than our honeymoon days. So no, I'm not looking to downgrade to the honeymoon part again. At least for me, if we're doing our job right, our relationship should be getting better with time, not worse.



sleazybutterfly -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/4/2009 1:46:05 PM)

I think I work so hard at keeping my marriage/dynamic relationship in the "honeymoon" phase (for lack of a better term), that one of these days I am going to major flip and tell him to just F-off.

It takes a lot of work to keep a relationship going, I can't be accommodating all of the time though it's probably expected.  It's actually very tiring and breaks me down in many ways.  I want to make him happy, I work hard at making him happy, I just hope it's something I can keep up for the next 50 yrs.

This is something I fight with myself constantly on.  I want to be perfect, I feel he expects me to be perfect, that's a ton of pressure for anyone to have to live with.

There will come a moment when I will have to accept I can't do everything, I can't be peppy all of the time, I am allowed to get pissed of once in a while, and have a bad day.  I just hope it comes before I drive myself into the ground mentally.

I suppose if one on either side could just sit back and let it happen, it would be the best honeymoon ever...for them.  For the other person...


PS..Keep in mind this is from my view and my expectations upon myself...he probably just expects me to be..well, me.








WiseCracknSadist -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/4/2009 3:07:36 PM)

I understand that relationships need tending. What I was trying to convey is that I like that feeling of the honeymoon stage. I like the feeling of being catered to.

Also I know that if a relationships take real work and true comprise that either you grew apart or didn't know each other as well as you thought. That will breed resentment, arguing, and the eventual destruction of that relationship.

I seek harmony, as I feel many of us do, and I was trying to express the feeling of what the harmony of my "perfect" relationship would fee like.

That's why I posted. So that I could see if my description made sense.



leadership527 -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/4/2009 3:14:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist

I understand that relationships need tending. What I was trying to convey is that I like that feeling of the honeymoon stage. I like the feeling of being catered to.

That's why I posted. So that I could see if my description made sense.

It all made sense. Heck, who doesn't love being catered to? I certainly do. But why do you feel that the catering stops after 6 months? In all the happy marriages I know, the catering tends to get much better over time as the cateree learns the job.



marysdream -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/4/2009 3:19:50 PM)

hmmm and men don't put there best foot forward in the beginning of the relationship?..oh the only exception to this is on line freaks!
ree....heheheh!



AlexandraLynch -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/4/2009 5:06:34 PM)

We all cater to and respect and love everyone else around here. That's how it's done.



DesFIP -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/4/2009 5:59:19 PM)

Men have a tendency to get lazy after the honeymoon is over also. They pay you less attention, take you for granted, stuff that happens less in my d/s relationship than did in my nilla marriage. It comes and goes here, but yeah, we stay in honeymoon type attitude, both of us. If he stopped giving it to me, I wouldn't have the energy to give it to him. Both of you need your love banks refilled if you are going to be making withdrawals.



Jeptha -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/4/2009 6:12:31 PM)

I think I have a kind of variant on your theme.

For me, lately, my relationships have been my main social outlet.

I don't really do serious things with friends anymore. Everyone's too busy, or we're too different in what we like to do now, or I'm just too much of a cranky bastard to put up with other's bullshit for very long, etc, etc.

Therefor, I get a lot out of my relationships. Getting to know someone else, their life, their mysteries, etc. It is an adventure. It's intense, and I do enjoy it.

I haven't been poly, myself (altho I do have one variation of poly going on in my life right now), and because I do use my partner as my main social outlet... I think that's part of why I've had a pattern of "serial monogamy" in my life up till now.

Just a theory.

For that reason, I would like to explore poly more someday.



stella41b -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/5/2009 2:25:53 AM)

With the right person every day can be like a new honeymoon.



Joseff -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/5/2009 6:24:02 PM)

I lived with debbie for 5 years before we were married. The actaul honeymoon was pretty good though. As I remember, those first few years together were like non stop sex.



Jeptha -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/5/2009 9:26:39 PM)

You know, part of me feels like what I wrote before is bullshit, and I just don't have that ambition to fuck only one person for the rest of my life.

Was reluctant to appear that shallow, though.

And, perhaps there's more to it than that.

But I suppose it bears mentioning, inasmuch as it may be a factor with whatever degree of relevance.



MsBlackheart -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/5/2009 9:48:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

You know, part of me feels like what I wrote before is bullshit, and I just don't have that ambition to fuck only one person for the rest of my life.

Was reluctant to appear that shallow, though.

And, perhaps there's more to it than that.

But I suppose it bears mentioning, inasmuch as it may be a factor with whatever degree of relevance.


Too bad we can't give Karma points on this board.  That was *awesome*.



aphotic -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/5/2009 9:51:34 PM)

True young love + arsenic = eternal honeymoon. Thank me later from the grave.



pompeii -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/5/2009 9:56:57 PM)

In my (awful) experience, she's kinky before the honeymoon, kinky during the honeymoon, and then, that was the end of it. Sigh.



GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/5/2009 10:28:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist


quote:

The reason I prefer poly and Dom/sub relationships is because I love the way a woman treats you during the honeymoon stage. They're always so sweet and accomodating, willing to do anything for you.




OP:
 
ok soooooooo
IN order for you to have an eternal honey moon you NEED A NEW woman?? every so often for that accomodating feeling..when it is NEW..FRESH??

sooo then this is NOT POLY
as in poly amourous( love)
 
it is POLYFUCKERY
kind of like trading the shoes in...when they are scuffed I guess

IN order to have an eternal honeymoon for your life then
you'll need what?? 57 women yet...60??
so will you tell them??

"I love you darlin..I 'm all yours" or
"you are a sub on trial here.. be sweet baby"

 so they will  accomadate you AND
then when they have needs and things need to be BUILT on or reponsibilitites taken up..or they call you on your bullshit

you can

throw them in the shoe bin...when the honey moon for YOU is over..


**I acknowledge as well that MULTIPLE sexual partners one after the other can be a fullfilling and hot, erotic lifestyle
IF ONE IS HONEST TO SELF AND THE OTHERS


very rare

** AND many many women are sweet and accomadating and do anything for thier DOM for years and years..
WHEN HE  moulds that through his wonderful character..
and the relationship HE DESIGNS with the sub...of
respect..harmony..assurance..strength..care..compassion..
tolerance..understanding..drive..maturity..mentorship..protection.
respnsibility..creativity...unfailing leadership.

MANY ARE adored for decades/lifetimes in an INCREASINGLY magnified....expanded honeymoon
 
I've seen it..lived it...for 22 years with one

GQ



DesFIP -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/6/2009 6:06:30 AM)

GQ, I think there are ways to refresh an existing relationship so you are very often in that honeymoon type energy without having to find a new partner all the time. My relationship is monogamous, 7 years old now, and we are observant of not getting into a rut. I don't have any objection to doing the same thing, I don't need new and different every week, but I do need that the heavy focus on each other doesn't dissipate.

Frequently this means just taking a day off, going someplace for a picnic, away from people, bills, tv, cell phones etc. It's really refreshing to go someplace without cell service for a few hours. The messages are still there when we come off the mountain. But we've had time to just be still and relax with each other.



leadership527 -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/6/2009 8:20:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha
Was reluctant to appear that shallow, though.

Wow, that's too bad. As a hardcore, avowed, monogamist who pretty much only cares about long-term relationships, I have to say that I don't think wanting something different is shallow. So long as that's what really makes a person happy and isn't simply a reflection of "unable to do anything different", then why would it be shallow? In fact, isn't it the very essence of depth to be introspective enough to know what you want/need and be able to go get it?

There's my official vanilla "seal of approval" on your shallowness *laughs*
(kidding, lest some humorless troll go off the deep end on that comment)



GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Eternal Honeymoon (6/6/2009 2:33:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

GQ, I think there are ways to refresh an existing relationship so you are very often in that honeymoon type energy without having to find a new partner all the time.



REPLY:
I thought my post was pretty clear that I had LIVED this way and promoted and supported it
 
GQ



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