RE: Online to real-time in a month is *fast*?!?

RE: Online to real-time in a month is *fast*?!? (Full Version)

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Andalusite -> RE: Online to real-time in a month is fast?!? (6/7/2009 10:16:32 PM)
RedMagic and LadyHibiscus, I've done some discreet play on the first date, like a little biting and hairpulling. I went to public playparties with two of the men I dated, including the one who is my Master now, but not on the first date. Going to a hotel room with someone I'd never met before just doesn't feel safe to me, but YMMV. Everyone has their own risk tolerance. lilgirl, when I went to munches in the past, I found they were very difficult places to have individual conversations. Every time I struck up a conversation with someone on a subject other than kink, computers, or small talk, a bunch of people would join us and quickly switch the subject back to one of those topics! It was rather frustrating! Again, I'm sure that that isn't a problem in a lot of areas, or perhaps I just wasn't being sufficiently conversationally assertive. [;)]

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Online to real-time in a month is fast?!? (6/7/2009 10:22:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie It's up to you. Feel it out.... If you're a girl....I couldn't possibly advise you....there's a whole world of shit that can happen to you as a woman that'll never happen to a man. She's a girl, and almost as brilliant as she is beautiful. You won't see her making many ill-considered decisions.

Andalusite -> RE: Online to real-time in a month is fast?!? (6/7/2009 10:33:53 PM)
Thanks, Panda! I do try to be careful, but Lookie is right that women have to be concerned about a lot of things that most guys don't need to think about. I didn't take it that he meant me personally, just that he was addressing both men and women in general. I'm pretty sure he doesn't think that I'm a guy (though I suppose one never knows on the Interwebs). [;)] Since I'm in a relationship now, it doesn't apply to me directly at this point in any case.

ZenDragoness -> RE: Online to real-time in a month is fast?!? (6/8/2009 2:04:11 AM)
I think that that women have all that things to think about and men not is one of the biggest misconceptions of all times. I know of at least 4 submissive men who brought themselves in very dangerous situations with strangers. For 2 of them that was a part of the thrill, but the other 2 did not think about it long enough beforehand. Luckily only one situation turned out bad, insofar that he found himself naked in the backyard ( 4 storeys high and a lot of people looking for the reason for the riot) and she yelling at him and throwing his clothes and belongings down. He had refused to do something she wanted him do to. Every meeting of somebody new has the potenial for all things good and bad and it goes against my grain to see danger mostly for women. I know a lot of woman who can like me look out for their own. For me the question is running more along the lines of submissive vs. dominant. Some submissives can be very trusting and not able to set their boundaries straight and stick to them. These are more likely people i see at danger, and the sex has nothing to do with it.

pixidustpet -> RE: Online to real-time in a month is fast?!? (6/8/2009 8:34:18 AM)
ORIGINAL: Andalusite agirl, I agree that playing in a hotel room on the first date, after 1 month or 6 months or whatever is way too fast. ******************************* oh dear. that's what i did with TheEngineer, a weekend of naughtiness on the first date, some 10 and a half years ago now. we had exactly 3 dates (of this sort) in that 9 years between meeting and deciding to marry. and we werent exactly in contact the whole of that 9 years. [:)] oh and once upon a time, i had a friend named tom. i was having a minor freakout and my roomies were out of town and he told me to come sleep on his couch. i met his roommate, wolf. 15 days later wolf and i were getting married. that lasted a wee bit over 16 years. so yeah fast is fast is slow. [:D] but i've no real regrets over any of it. kitten

DavanKael -> RE: Online to real-time in a month is fast?!? (6/8/2009 5:33:34 PM)
In terms of meeting, I'm pretty amenable to that as long as there's a baseline comfort level and it's in a public place. If someone is too pushy or something of the like, those are red flags. I had a guy yesterday on here announce I should meet him at a freakin' convenience store parking lot and when I said I was sick and that the venue was wildly inappropriate (I believe I suggested he should hire a prostitute if what he wanted), he got abusive and threatening. I've met several people from CM in real time. While not all have been relationship material for me, I'd say the meets were generally positive. :> Davan

penitentialarts -> RE: Online to real-time in a month is fast?!? (6/10/2009 8:55:19 PM)
In my experience, things work best if you don't spend a lot of time developing an online "relationship" - that medium is best for making initial contact that then moves on to a safe public meeting fairly quickly. When people spend too much time getting to know each other online it can lead to disappointment at the first meeting, since they have built up fantasy images about what the other person sounds like, acts like, etc. - Jesse

lronitulstahp -> RE: Online to real-time in a month is fast?!? (6/15/2009 6:04:05 AM)
quote: I understand the wisdom in being safe. However - if that Dom God you just met is a serial killer, it's better that you meet him in the shortest amount of time possible. Good serial killers take a great deal of time planning their crime. If you meet in a week .. it's not likely he's got a plan in place. If you wait a month, you're doomed. SoulPiercer, i think i read that somewhere on a website[;)]... i'm a little worried that You sound like the voice of experience on this one. Care to share?????

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