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MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 4:55:23 AM   
TXPapancarol


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/26/2009
Status: offline 		Thought about putting this in a journal entry then changed my mind, the more I read entries the more I thought it might be useful if not so be.

This is my own humble option here.

One thing I keep reading over and over gamers, players, lamer. Think why are the people claiming this here and staying here?

I personally as I read through the entries do not see so much gaming. Do not get me wrong there are enough of them to go around. As I see simply people unsure of what and who they are and how to go about learning.

Are you a submission, a Dom or a switch? Does one honestly and truly know? Does someone else telling you so make it so? Well as much as I would like to say these are easy enough questions to answer I can not. Ones true nature takes time to find. But it’s in there. For all there really is a true nature. What one does with it is the key to what fulfills them.

I can answer one of those questions for you. NO one can tell you what your nature is. That is something you must find. A person can help you open up, pull back the layers of a lifetime of hiding your nature, but truly finding it and allowing it out that is something you must do for yourself.

Does a desire for rough sex, passionate loving, hardcore stimulation make you Dom or submissive? No. for sex is in actually a very small part of the whole. Sex is Sex regardless of how or why. It is the simple gratification of the flesh. Nor does being aggressive, strong in nature in sexual encounters make you Dom, being passive make you submissive. How a person is sexual might not be their very nature, just their sexual side.

So what makes for the elements of the two? (For Domme the he can easily be replaced with she as need be)
A Dominate puts of an air of energy of power, strength of provider and protector. He has taken the time and energy to Master himself in mind, emotions and body. Learned enough about himself to know his strengths and weakness, knows what he is able to do, is he without error? NO, he is human, if new there is a willingness to learn and grow from elders, there is not headstrong about self and all knowing but a feeling of being.

Submissive: they are complete within self once accepted of who they are, there is the biggest problem most face, the fight within to understand their nature, most have very strong wills as it should be they are not weak, are strong, very smart and always looking to please those around them be it family, friends, co workers for it is their nature to do so. It makes them happy.

Both can be excellent in their choice fields the Dom driven to the top in whatever he does, out shine in all ways. The submissive driven to meet the needs of others, provide what is asked for there for they will go the extra mile to so in the best possible way they can in order to please.

Social they come in all shapes and forms depending on many facts from personal backgrounds.

Simply stating I am a Dom or I am a sub does not make it so, it’s a personal search, a willingness to grow within self. Finding a way to release desires doesn’t make a person Dom/sub.

Wishing well and wonderment
carol


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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 5:52:20 AM   
DarkSteven


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Status: offline 		Your first post.  Welcome.

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 7:25:36 AM   
colouredin


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Status: offline 		Nice to read peoples own views of what it is

Seconding the wonderful DarkSteven, Welcome

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 8:33:53 AM   
breatheasone


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Status: offline 		Thanks for sharing your opinion. 

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 9:47:28 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
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Status: offline 		oops, posted to the wrong thread



< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 6/5/2009 9:49:44 AM >

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 9:48:53 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

So, as a 21 year old kid your kind of fucked. Most women your age who want to have sex don't have to hang out online looking and there is a REASON women your age are on here, they are lost in fantasy, they are complete nutjobs, or they are actually men my age pretending to be women. The few your age who ARE cool chicks are probably in high demand and your profile doesn't exactly scream "hot with it young stud"



Dude I am 22 and not lost in a fantasy or a nutjob but ta for the brush stroke

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 10:01:22 AM   
breatheasone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

oops, posted to the wrong thread



See, i caught that....but i was gonna let it be our little secret. LOL


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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 10:55:42 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Most of the complaints I have seen were not about d/s.  They were about scammer profiles, people who lie dominant or submissive and professional's or those who claim to be professionals and/or requiring tribute and gifts.  Many are filling their profile to look like one thing and then when people talk to them they start the scam or want something.  There are a lot of these people around and some people are upset that they were silly enough to fall for a scam or wasted time on a scammer or were deceived by a liar, sex addict trying for a fix... whatever.

That stuff really has nothing to do with bdsm or d/s except for the tool to use to run a scam, make money or entice the willing, to believe in someone who is not being honest.



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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 11:58:27 AM   
DesFIP


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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin


quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

So, as a 21 year old kid your kind of fucked. Most women your age who want to have sex don't have to hang out online looking and there is a REASON women your age are on here, they are lost in fantasy, they are complete nutjobs, or they are actually men my age pretending to be women. The few your age who ARE cool chicks are probably in high demand and your profile doesn't exactly scream "hot with it young stud"



Dude I am 22 and not lost in a fantasy or a nutjob but ta for the brush stroke


I think he meant it for the kid who says he's been here two years and still hasn't gotten any action. I'm assuming that since I wrote just about that in that thread.

As far as the op goes, welcome. But you seem to think that you can tell all of the rest of us what to do. A lecture on your first post is not the best way to be make friends. Besides almost everyone who is here, is here because they know what they're interested in. And some of us actually need the rough sex to tap into our dom or sub sides, for some of us it isn't all mental, it involves all of us: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Or just one or more of the above. Who are you to tell other people what they are or aren't? Way to go to make a bad first impression.

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 1:21:27 PM   
sirsholly


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quote:

As far as the op goes, welcome. But you seem to think that you can tell all of the rest of us what to do. A lecture on your first post is not the best way to be make friends. Besides almost everyone who is here, is here because they know what they're interested in. And some of us actually need the rough sex to tap into our dom or sub sides, for some of us it isn't all mental, it involves all of us: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Or just one or more of the above. Who are you to tell other people what they are or aren't? Way to go to make a bad first impression.

_
Celeste put into words very well what i was thinking as i read the OP.

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 1:40:09 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
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From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		For me using the words 'submission' and 'Dominate' to indicate a person kind of negated the whole message. But thank you for the input.

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 1:51:22 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		fr

I thnk I'm reading a different OP here than some of you.

This OP doesn't sound like One True Way to me or that carol is trying to tell anyone what they are or how they should be. Quite the opposite in fact. She clearly states that no one can tell anyone else who or what they are because it's an internal discovery, something with which I cannot argue. She's just making comment on her own observations of various journals and sharing her opinion of D/s as she knows it (you can tell because she said it's her 'opinion'). As far as first posts go, hell, we've had a whole lot worse and this one is miles about the average forum fodder.

Some of ya'll need to take a chill pill and quit scaring away the board virgins. Give the new kid a break, will ya? What the hell did she say that got yer panties in such a twist? If you can't keep your panties from twisting, maybe you should consider not wearing them.

Welcome to the boards, carol. I think you made a lot of very valid observations and I agree with some of what you've written. I especially liked this observation: "I personally as I read through the entries do not see so much gaming. Do not get me wrong there are enough of them to go around. As I see simply people unsure of what and who they are and how to go about learning." "Gamers, players & lamers" are usually given short rift around these parts. My own personal opinion is that everyone is entitled to seek their bliss in whatever way they can. One man's treasure and all that. "My" first impression of you is good and I hope you continue to post your thoughts and observations. Fresh meat is a great way to get protein.




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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 1:57:43 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		It's closer to the reality if how a person expresses their dominance , submissiveness or switchiness is simply honed over time. None of us are automatically a dom, a sub nor are we automatically a switch. This is a process which we discover, explore, enhance and mold into what we believe is our true nature and what we want for ourselves. How I express my submission is unique to only myself and to the dominant who desires and needs the submissive qualities I have to offer. Then and only then will these qualities are mutually refined for the benefit of us both.
    Sexual gratification in any form is only one avenue of expression of this and is not the end all be all. Mine operates in a balance between the emotional, physical, mental and spiritual aspects of submitting to one who is dominant. For some this is what they seek and for others, they want the whole damn thing.
   Where I do disagree is stating "A Dominate puts of an air of energy of power, strength of provider and protector." It is safe to say that a dominant has that indescribable quality, an aura if you will, which is part of who they are as a dominant person: much in the same manner the inherent quality which is part of what makes a a submissive, submissive. It is part and parcel of who they are as a person, not some attribute which you order through a catalog or learn at some school of education. It is knowing yourself on a deeper level, it is understanding your own nature and personality and embracing these qualities that make up who you are.


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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 4:33:16 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Ah, Stella, what?  You aren't a submission?   

I agree.  If you are going to provide a lecture to the masses then it's best to know what you are talking about.  If you want to be taken seriously. 


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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 4:35:21 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Grammar snobs!  I love you all!

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 5:01:04 PM   
TXPapancarol


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/26/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks to everyone for the welcome, the insight and the criticism. As I first stated this is my opinion. I did see my errors in the misuse of words and misspelling after I had already posted and found no way to correct nor edit them, for them I do state I my apologizes.

As to the statement made that I am trying to tell others how to be or live their lives I am not, nor would I try. Each person is different and has a different path to walk. I wrote what I wrote as a way to express how I view the two and no more then that.

My wording “A Dominate (Dominant to correct myself) puts of an air” was not as in putting on airs, but an aura one might say. Simply the way they are it’s an energy about them might be a better way to state it.

For those that took offense to my opinion, I really do not know what to say, for we each have them. And I am not sorry that I do, wish I could of expressed myself so that none did, but this is not a prefect world.

Wishing well and wonderment
carol

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/5/2009 5:24:16 PM   
oceanwinds


Posts: 530
Status: offline 		Hi  carol
Welcome to the boards. Please do not let people here get you down. Take everything with a grain of salt. Eventually a few will resonate with you and it makes coming to these boards more pleasant. Not that a person agrees or disagrees with what another saids, it just how people carry themselves, imo. I did like some of the things you touched on in your op.

Thank you for being brave enough to post, and again please take things with a grain of salt.
oceanwinds

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/6/2009 1:50:25 AM   
TXPapancarol


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/26/2009
Status: offline 		Thank you and no problem, most people find it hard to understand me. I at times do not get my thoughts through in words. It takes a bit. And I do not take other's opinions personal, it is after all their thoughts. I enjoy seeing the ensight of the words of different ideas.

wishing well and wonderment
carol

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/6/2009 5:56:52 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Anytime you use the word always, you are negating anyone who doesn't do it that way. You are saying in effect, this is the only one true way. Which totally negates that sop to others of saying no one can tell others what they are. Because your post then goes on to define others and say if they don't fit your pigeon holes, they aren't dominant/submissive/switch.

I'm not a very strong person. And I am submissive.

I'm not interested in always pleasing everyone around me. And I am submissive.

I have never fought to accept my nature. And I am submissive.

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RE: MHO on D/s - 6/6/2009 6:08:38 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TXPapancarol


quote:

For those that took offense to my opinion, I really do not know what to say, for we each have them.
carol


carol...WELCOME
someone will always take offence..someone will always agree..
some may not know what to say..

BY posting and verbalizing your thoughts you are adding to your journey and other's..and it is like being naked at times on here..

BY reading..replying..responding we are all learning together..
and we learn that our opinions are not fact..they are opinions..we learn to look at other ideas while formulating
our own truths .......as you are..........
and standing in them..

best of luck

GQ
oh and there is an edit button up in the top right of each post......... that is there for a while after the post..
I need it A LOT due to rapidly failing eyesight

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 6/6/2009 6:11:32 AM >

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