RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

CarrieO -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 5:33:21 AM)

When I first joined, I recieved 20-30 the first week. When I had photos up, about the same. Were they quality emails? 95% of them, no. Once I started to fine-tune my filters, the numbers dropped considerably. Do I care? No, I prefer quality over quantity.

Since I changed to "friends only", however, a funny thing has happened. I get maybe 1-2 emails a week but I've been added to many "favorites" lists. Not sure why since the ones who add me generally don't bother to send an email, which I find odd.

I had a man suggest to me recently that if I want to appear "serious" then I should post a full body shot with ample cleavage (which I have, thank you very much). Ironically, this was a man who has posted on here complaining about the "fakes with pro/nude shots"....makes me laugh!

I guess it all comes down to HOW you want to connect with others.



Apocalypso -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 6:08:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Coemgen]
If so, with that kind of ratio of dom men to submissive women on here, what are the chances of every actually connecting with someone? Seems kind of daunting/pointless...
I do not see most of the dom men on here as competition in any meaningful sense.  That has less to do with me and a lot to do with them.

It's not hard to get a good ratio of replies.  "Don't be a dick".  That's it.



littlewonder -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 8:20:33 AM)

When I was single, yes I would get tons of email.

Now that I'm taken I get very few now.




MsFlutter -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 8:22:06 AM)

100 sounds a bit high.  Forty-ish per day when I first joined CM has settled down to 15-20 per day. Lordy I had to macro 'Thank you but no thank you"

Eliminating the scammers and those who are ATNS (all talk, no stones) greatly reduces the numbers of messages that a Domme is moved to even acknowledge, much less respond to. Sample of a typical communication sequence :

Messagee:     I'm a ____ year old (insert orientation here) from (insert city/state/country here.) Blah blah blah....
Domme:       "No thank you"
Messagee:  'PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?? pick me pick me I want to serve you !!"
Domme:       "What part of 'no thank you' in unclear?

or

Messagee:  I'm a ____ year old slave from (insert city/state/country here.) Blah blah blah.... 
Domme:      "No thank you"
Messagee:  Whatever. Sorry you feel the need to limit yourself that way
Domme:      <eyeroll> <block> <delete>

There was a discussion once about Dommes politely answering their messages. I can't recall who said it but it was accurately stated by one of the ladies that 'they dont interpret the answer as the answer - they won't LET us be nice !!"



DominaDaphne -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 9:05:39 AM)

I've never received that kind of number, not even when I had more revealing or suggestive photos up (in a now deleted profile). BUT. I'm over 50, overweight, and over-picky. So a high proportion of my first-contact emails have come in from guys who have not read my profile and usually want to be my live-in slave. Sigh. I have reported a number of evident spammers and a few scammers. And although greater Vancouver BC is within a visitable range for me, I've reluctantly enforced bulk mail controls because all the non-USA email comes from Bulgaria or India or Nigeria wanting to relocate.

On the other hand, I have made contact with six real human males through CM in 18 months, and of those individuals, I have played with four subs, established long-term friendship with a rope dom, and have established long-term relationships with two of those subs, one collared to me.

Patience is a virtue, they say. I will also say that within months of joining CM 18 months ago, I was recommended to an then newly-established free kinky social networking site that is not a dating site, and find it of considerable interest for more of the things that I used to get out of CM. More real people and rather fewer fakes. But it does NOT offer (or plan to) searching-for-individuals capability. (It's considered unmentionable on CM, so I'll just say Google it if you care.)



OrionTheWolf -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 10:21:05 AM)

It was not a 100 but when I instructed my slave to create a profile on here, for friendship and reading the forums, she received about 100 the first couple of days, then it dwindled. This was often from those that had not even read her profile. There were a few that said she was a fake, and a few that said how horrible a Master I am, and that they would save her. Still she received about 5 a day, and most of those with dominant men, even though there are instructions in her profile to contact me first for permission. I will say that a good 90% of the emails she gets, with or without permission is to try and "save" her from the horrible and deranged Gorean Man.

Yes the females here get a lot of emails, and sometimes plain out harrassed.



chiaThePet -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 10:43:40 AM)


Well, Bill Clinton does have a lot of time on his hands these days.

chia* (the pet)



masmiss -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 12:32:51 PM)



3) 99% of those messages are extremely lame.

Or just f**king crazy.



AlexandraLynch -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 12:37:35 PM)

Fifteen to twenty a day with an attractive head shot and a clearly written profile stating what I was after.

Of course, out of that twenty, ten to twelve live too far away for the kind of in-person service I want, five of them are into crossdressing (which I am not), three are into particular fetishes I'm not (sorry, I can barely tie my shoes, fellas, and I don't want to pee on you) and of the two that get the "I like your profile, please make sure that you are religiously and politically tolerant and not allergic to cats" letter, one is likely to say, "I'm ok with all that, when can we meet to fuck?"

That said, I met my painslut boy on here, and we are quite happy. So it is possible. It just takes patience and a little research to sell yourself. I think it's a lot like looking for a job; don't apply for a job you don't really want to do, and if you find one, tailor your resume accordingly and work on interviewing well.




StoneFox -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 2:24:26 PM)

I used to get pages of new emails a day when I was new. From Doms too, even though I'm not sub/switch in any way, lol.

I guess I get maybe 15 new a day now and that includes from people who I consider my friends. I do have my spam filters on and I don't bother replying to people who send me boring one-liners. Usuaully they like to comment on my looks anyways and although it's flattering to have someone think I'm "stunning"...flattery is not enough to build a friendship on.



littlesarbonn -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 2:54:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: StoneFox

I used to get pages of new emails a day when I was new. From Doms too, even though I'm not sub/switch in any way, lol.

I guess I get maybe 15 new a day now and that includes from people who I consider my friends. I do have my spam filters on and I don't bother replying to people who send me boring one-liners. Usuaully they like to comment on my looks anyways and although it's flattering to have someone think I'm "stunning"...flattery is not enough to build a friendship on.


This is part of why I rarely write anyone other than to just talk to them about non relationship things. I realize they get so many emails from guys that are trying to make a connection that I'm only making their lives more difficult by contributing to the spam, even though I would never be contributing spam to their email addresses. I tend to visit someone's profile, indicate that I find her interesting through some other fashion (like in conversation during message board activity) and then hope that she is interested in me. If she's not, then I figure why should I cause her more hardship than she probably already gets.

I do find that acting in this way may cut down on the potential chances I have of connecting with someone, but I do have enough friends through this process that I can't completely disparage it as a somewhat useful process for making a connection. Granted, most connections become friendships, but I've always believed that if I can't be friendly towards someone, she's probably not going to be all that interested in anything further than that anyway.



heartcream -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 4:43:13 PM)

No not 100, not ever that many praise God.

I get a few a day I guess, sometimes more or less.



KatyLied -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 4:51:19 PM)

How do you define a message?  If you are counting the "hi" or "where are you from" or "care to chat".  Then yeah, we get a lot.  I've never gotten 100 in one day though.



Malkinius -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 8:21:01 PM)

{Fast Reply}

Tal and greetings all....

While profusely perusing particular profiles I came across a journal entry that brought me back to this thread. She says a lot of very good things about what to do and especially not to do if you want a response. The person involved has spent a lot of time and effort defining who and what they are and did a lot of writing which highly impressed me. http://www.collarme.com/personals/v/882561/details.htm is the profile. Go to the end and read her first journal entry from 4 June, 2009. I have asked for permission to quote just that and have received it but I am awaiting how to cite it. This woman has nailed many thing with nothing outside of the center circle of the bullseye. Go read.

Read the rest if you want. It is some interesting reading.

Be well all....

Malkinius




DavanKael -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 8:37:33 PM)

There are a few things about my profile that lessen the number of responses I get:
1)I don't post pics
2)I identify as switch
3)I no longer have the 'check-lists' filled out
4)I talk about a lot of relational stuff in my profile
While not exactly by design to lower the number of responses, I am absolutely fine with folks being 'spooked' by the relational stuff or think I'm 'un-twue' because of being a switch.  
That having been said, I still get bunches of dumb e-mails.  Generally, I direct the person to take a look at my profile (Lots mail without reading the person's profile) and tell them to please feel free to cmail me back if, once they've taken a look at my profile, they still believe we have substantial enough commonalities to continue a dialogue. 
Coemgen, If you're making articulate, relevant contacts with ladies, I suspect that a large portion of the time, your e-mails won't get 'lost in the mix'.  Be yourself and don't let 'stats' wig you out.  Welcome to the boards.  :> 
  Davan



MzMia -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 8:40:19 PM)

I have been here too long to even think about the numbers.
I would say, that the more hours logged onto this site= more emails {usually}.
For females, the more tits, ass, leg, or body parts you show, will shoot that number
up quite a bit!
Also pics with you dressed in fetish wear, leather, holding a whip, or anything remotely similar
will keep your mailbox plenty full also!

Nude pictures will probably help you win the jackpot on emails! [sm=flash.gif]

I enjoy the nude pics myself, yet I seldom shoot an email, except that guy with
the fantastic ass, I just had to comment.
[:D] 



subfever -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 8:47:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

i have taken pains to make my profile very specific and eliminated a lot of would be suitors.

porcelaine



Kudos to you. If more women took the time to do this, it would save loads of grief on both sides of the equation.



Andalusite -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/7/2009 10:12:33 PM)

When I was still looking, I usually got 10-20 e-mails a day, some from people who I had previous contact with. About 10% were spammers, another 10-15% were out of my geographical or chronological range, another 30% or so were looking for a casual playpartner/fwb, in a relationship, or were otherwise very obviously incompatible after the first couple of e-mails. The other half were interesting, intelligent, and fun to interact with. I met over a dozen of them in person, and had zero fakes or flakes.



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/8/2009 5:47:52 AM)

I can honestly say that at no point have I EVER gotten swamped with emails, lame or otherwise, the only "cock shot" I've ever received was from a dear friend, nice looking rooster at that!! Even when I was new here (I vaguely remember that) I didn't get overwhelmed with emails.

Right now the only issue I have is so called dominant males that demostrate that they can't read. And after getting a few of those lame emails I have to say... submissive females?? I feel for you guys!!!

Jewel



TreasureKY -> RE: Do the women here really get 100 messages a day? (6/8/2009 6:55:34 AM)

Fast Reply:

Based on the different responses in this thread, it obviously varies quite a bit.

*checking my email history*

I first joined in mid-December of 2005 with my original profile "losttreasure".  The first day my photo hadn't been approved yet, but I still received a dozen messages or so.  The second day, before my photo had been posted I'd received a dozen or so, then as soon as my picture was visible, I received another 100 or so.  It tapered down a bit after that... some days I'd turn my profile off when I didn't want to be bothered, but generally it varied between 20 to 60 emails a day.  Once I'd met Firm and indicated on my profile that I was no longer looking, that reduced the number down to mostly just a handful a day. 

In September of '07, I created this profile because my original continued to invite contact... the name "losttreasure" made it sound as if I was still looking.  I still get email invitations from doms, but now it's just a few a week... with a spike in numbers here and there when there's a full moon. [;)]

Edited to add:

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

... the only "cock shot" I've ever received was from a dear friend, nice looking rooster at that!!


I've only gotten one that I recall.  A male sub sent me a cock shot out of the blue saying that he wondered what I would guess his size to be...

I responded that I wondered why he thought I would care.  [:D]



Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875