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RE: red flags - 6/12/2009 11:07:15 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:

Original: GeorgiaMaam

And here's the thing....if you're offering to go to a complete stranger's home, or you're willing to have a complete stranger to your home....you're not all there LOL

See, now I don't agree with this at all. I have "strangers" over all the time. Some of them I haven't even met online, via email or phone before they show up on my doorstep, lost and hurting. I provide pastoral care for several alternative communities (including the D/s community), and there are a number of ministers, local club owners, nurse associates, etc., who send people to me at all hours of the day or night for assistance and guidance because of my particular specialties in dealing with the "fringe" folks. Some folks even find my contact information on local bulletin boards or through crisis-care centers (many of which have my information to give out to people who may need it). Most of the newcomers I don't know from -peep-. In addition, I've been out and about in several alternative communities for over 30 years, AND blind-dated a time or two as well, and had those folks come to the house to pick me up or whatever. In 30 years, I've -never- had someone who came to me under these terms turn into an axe murderer, serial killer, or rapist. I -have- been raped a couple of times and assaulted, robbed, stabbed, beaten (not in a good way), but on all occasions, it was people I -knew- and some of whom I had known for YEARS who committed the offenses. In one case, it was an immediate family member!

I think it's foolish to treat people, automatically, like they're criminals... and if you believe the Law of Attraction, but focusing on treating everyone like a criminal, you would, conceivably, draw -more- criminals into your sphere of influence.

Dame Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 6/12/2009 11:11:12 AM >

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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Post #: 41

RE: red flags - 6/12/2009 11:15:22 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

My first top. We'd exchanged about 10 emails, several phone calls. I went to his house and was tied, beaten etc.

I trusted my gut.

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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 42

RE: red flags - 6/12/2009 11:21:29 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

level 1 2 3 4

<--------^-----^------^------^------>

Above illustration of Panda's time line and wondering where I might fall on it.

Kiddin' me? Tell me what time your flight lands, so I know what time to start the coffee!

You, and actually quite a lot of posters here would be more than welcome in my home any time you cared to call me up and say you were on the way. All I ask is enough notice to dig the air mattress out of the spare bedroom, get the extra towels hung in the bathroom, and the refrigerator stocked with whatever you tell me you like to eat and drink. Far as I'm concerned, just about everyone who posts here is pre-screened, and a friend. Even most of the ones I argue with in the Politics forum.

But for someone I don't know anything about yet (the "complete stranger" GeorgiaMaam describes), that's a little different. I need to get a feel for who they are before I have them roaming around at large in my home. I mean, shit, I've got like 800 CDs here. And a full set of Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes books. Complete sets! Nobody's gettin' close to that until I know who they are and what they're about!

Ohhhhhhhhh Paaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnndddddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..............your gonna need to get out that air mattress and look the other way while I fill the empty space thats gonna be in my suitcase. If you've also got a DVD collection of Cow and Chicken, you may as well file your insurance claim now because they are MINE!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 43

RE: red flags - 6/12/2009 11:23:49 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

No plane here. We're driving across. We have to keep enough things with us so a truck will be warranted. I still want to meet people all across the way. How many folks have such a chance? To Me, that road trip is going to be one full of adventure and meeting friends I've never seen yet.

Calvin and Hobbs? You're kidding Me. You do know what the last strip in syndication was, don't you?

"Come on. Let's go out and play."

I'm tellin' ya, I don't think it's hyperbole to state the world just hasn't been the same since Calvin and Hobbes went out of business.

As for the road trip, when do you think this might come to pass? Because oddly enough, I have been coming to pretty much the same decision over the last several hours. I got it locked into my head earlier today to make my next trip to California a road trip instead of flying, and I'm looking at the month of July. If i do decide to go through with it, I'll be swinging way south from Minnesota and heading through Utah and Arizona on my way to the Golden State. Like you, I would love to meet up with as many denizens as possible along the way, and if the timing works out, we might be able to connect up along the way.

Can you say, "convoy?"

I am taking a road trip to Colorado beginning July 29th. If you see a little black M3 heading west on 80 at warp speed......

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 44

RE: red flags - 6/19/2009 2:00:21 AM

flogger

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN

RED FLAGS..

*" meet me at my house"
* "I'll pick you up"
*pushing to meet before you are comfortable
*saying you need to "PROVE" your self by.........or ............ too soon
* wanting your # but not giving theirs
*Pushing for naked pics and stripping on line
*wanting you to call them Master or SIR right away...being polite is one thing..but
* treating you as THEIR sub when you are just talking as man and woman
on here at first..eg) obey!!!
* not focusing on minds or the whole person but sex right away
* not having a ref you could talk to...like a dungeon they visit ..a former sub..
* talking filth to you immediately....( hay later IF negotiated fine )

GQ

GQ i see you posted here, and I want to once again thank you for helping me with my profile, you did a really great job. Thanks so much.

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Post #: 45

RE: red flags - 6/19/2009 4:22:44 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeorgiaMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeorgiaMaam

The info they give you in an email needs to match the info on their profile (if they say they're in another state - something is wrong)

Attempts to get around basic requirements for keeping yourself safe. For example, you know that it's a good idea to meet in a public place the first time or three, right? Had a "sub" ask to come help me with some things at my house - I explained I don't bring anyone home until I've basically established a relationship with them - he said oh I just want to be friends, and proceeded to ask to come to my house to "help" me again. Red flag!! Probably an axe murderer.

Probably? Definitely! You spotted him out. Should have beaten him at his own game; invited him over and hit him over the head with a skillet the minute he walked in the door. Chopped him 'up and stored him in an underground oil drum for future archaelogists to puzzle over.

Seriously, though, that is rather slimy. I suppose it's almost a good thing that some of the really creepy ones are as creepy as they are, because that sort of behavior helps them weed themselves out in the opening rounds.

And here's the thing....if you're offering to go to a complete stranger's home, or you're willing to have a complete stranger to your home....you're not all there LOL I am automatically very suspicious of people who are more than willing to skip over basic, reasonable precautions that you should take when meeting someone on the internet - even more so if I state what is essentially a hard limit and they ignore it or try to slime their way around it. I actually think the person in question was just really attention-needy rather than an axe murderer and maybe didn't think how he was coming off. Still, not going to take that chance to appease someone else's neediness.

Well I guess I am not all there then. I met my first Mistress online, chatted for about a week and then met her for dinner. During the course of the meal she mentioned needing her lawn mowed and I offered to come over and cut it for her. She agreed so I guess she was not all there either. Oh and we were together after that for close to 4 years....still good friends today. I am not sure how neediness fits into this, but she needed her lawn cut and I was available so I guess it was all good.

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Post #: 46