Thoughts on Profiles (Full Version)

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MHOO314 -> Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 9:09:31 AM)

I awoke to one of those darn one-liner emails this morning (and before My coffee too)--that says "so why do you have a profile?"---now I am not here to dispute the email rudeness but rather capture the feelings of the group here:

Many of us have had profiles ever since we joined, so we don't feel the need to remove them when W/we connect--we update it but continue to use it to keep a presence--I for one want people to know there is a real person posting and My blog has become important to Me as an outlet--

but what is the consensus? If someone is involved/collared--should the profile be removed to allow for "cleaner searches by others"?

Minor in life's scheme of things--but inquiring minds want to know---



IrishMist -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 9:15:35 AM)

Hmm, I have had a profile since joining, it has changed more times than I care to admit, but it's still there. Personally, I like seeing in a persons profile that they are with someone, knowing that they are happy...it also kind of helps when I send a question to someone lol. I feel more comfortable knowing that they have a SO and that my question will not be taken out of context.

I have had so many tell me that I should remove my profile from the site simply because I state that I am not interested in meeting anyone.

/shrug

I just ignore them for the most part, or if I am feeling in a really bitchy mood, I respond with my thoughts on their oh so thoughtful comments [8D]



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 9:18:03 AM)

quote:

If someone is involved/collared--should the profile be removed to allow for "cleaner searches by others"?


Frankly, I think if someone takes the time to search, read your profile, and find that you're not what he or she is looking for, that they should be thankful that it was that simple.

As for those that get annoyed because they read a profile and the person says they aren't looking or otherwise aren't what they are looking for....should just get the hell over it. They deserve the angst they cause themselves.

I'll have Elizabeth's olives, thankyouverymuch. [:D]



RavenMuse -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 9:22:24 AM)

The only thing I might change on mine if I meet my girl and stop seeking is a note at the top of my profile saying "Not seeking" and switch activly seeking to "Just friends" rather than "Female sub"

If they don't like it beyond that, tough, not my problem.



MHOO314 -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 9:27:30 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

The only thing I might change on mine if I meet my girl and stop seeking is a note at the top of my profile saying "Not seeking" and switch activly seeking to "Just friends" rather than "Female sub"

If they don't like it beyond that, tough, not my problem.



Thanks Raven as always a wealth of info, I forgot to go change My tickie mark--

<changes selections and goes off to get another jar of olives>



RavenMuse -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 9:38:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
Thanks Raven as always a wealth of info, I forgot to go change My tickie mark--

<changes selections and goes off to get another jar of olives>

[:)] Glad I helped.

But yes, those two things I'd see as basic consideration. But turning your profile off. I see no reason to do so and certainly won't be doing so myself.



krikket -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 11:04:32 AM)

Personally i don't see any reason to take down your profile just because "you're not looking for a partner". i enjoy reading a little about the people in the forums (and chat), but that's just me. The one thing i don't understand is when you put a profile up, even ones that say NO MEN, or NOT LOOKING, people should be aware that some see that as a "dare", and almost guarantees that someone's gonna write. i saw one not long ago that said no men cuz it made her master mad, but..there must have been half a dozen (maybe more) pics of her that could only best be described as provocative (various stages of undress and sexy poses, etc.). Now, my thought on that is, if they're gonna show those kinds of pictures, shouldn't they expect some kind of reaction? Yes, they have every right to show them, but if they truly want to avoid getting emails there's a section where you can have certain mail go directly into your trash bin. Or, if you can't stand the idea of NOT knowing what was said in the letter, and you just can't ignore it (which would be me..lol), read the email then put the poster on ignore. You won't even get em then.. soooooooo many easy solutions to the problems that just aren't that world altering to begin with.

just my wooden nickel's worth..

jimini



KatyLied -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 11:11:58 AM)

I love reading profiles and journals.....I'm a bit of a junkie about it.
Anyone who wants a profile should have one, regardless of their status.
And really, a profile is only as honest as the person writing it. Just remember that.



IronBear -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 11:33:32 AM)

My profile will remain irrespective if I'm looking or not looking. It is a way for people who want to know more about me to get a profile before they decide to contact me on a social basis.



yourMissTress -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 11:53:38 AM)

It's nice, here on the boards, when I can look at the profile of the poster. I can get an idea of where they are coming from if I know more about who they are.

I can think of a few recent incidences where I have taken a person/post seriously or simply tossed out their opinion based on whether or not they have a profile, or, what that profile consisted of.

As far as the other side is concerned...we have recently heard this argument that if you aren't looking you shouldn't have a profile. Well, ok, but I am looking for likeminded people to share thoughts and ideas with, as well as broaden the scope of the BDSM community that I associate with, as well as looking for subs/slaves and play partners. I don't remember anything in the TOS saying that this was a dating site only....



cloudboy -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 12:20:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I awoke to one of those darn one-liner emails this morning (and before My coffee too)--that says "so why do you have a profile?"---now I am not here to dispute the email rudeness but rather capture the feelings of the group here:

Many of us have had profiles ever since we joined, so we don't feel the need to remove them when W/we connect--we update it but continue to use it to keep a presence--I for one want people to know there is a real person posting and My blog has become important to Me as an outlet--

but what is the consensus? If someone is involved/collared--should the profile be removed to allow for "cleaner searches by others"?

Minor in life's scheme of things--but inquiring minds want to know---


I thought that once you found someone, you would delete your profile, not post anymore, and completely forget about the rest of us as if we never existed. Also, didn't you know that once you are "with" another person in a union, you cease being an individual with any individualistic needs or curiosities. Why? Well, because you've become unionized.



MHOO314 -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 12:38:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I thought that once you found someone, you would delete your profile, not post anymore, and completely forget about the rest of us as if we never existed. Also, didn't you know that once you are "with" another person in a union, you cease being an individual with any individualistic needs or curiosities. Why? Well, because you've become unionized.



W/we are as O/one but we made a commitment never to abandon friends or family--and this is a home for U/us as well---smiles

Besides like MissTress, I like to know there is someone behind the posts--someone with definition to them--besides cloudboy, how could W/we ever miss out on everyone's growth---



BitaTruble -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 12:39:41 PM)

quote:

but what is the consensus? If someone is involved/collared--should the profile be removed to allow for "cleaner searches by others"?


It's not my job to make life easier for anyone other than Himself. I'm listed seeking friends only. That's the extent of my responsibility to anyone else. My profile and journals clearly mark me as collared, but that doesn't stop the slut/pig, get on your knees emails from coming through. Personally, I adore getting those, because that's when I can turn into LotaTruble and not get into any truble at all from Himself. I'm allowed to write two emails back, then I'm to block. I have sooooo much fun with it.

::chuckles::

Celeste



foxglove716 -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 12:42:58 PM)

Funny, the people who complain about profiles are the same ones who dont read them



Real0ne -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 2:40:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I awoke to one of those darn one-liner emails this morning (and before My coffee too)--that says "so why do you have a profile?"---now I am not here to dispute the email rudeness but rather capture the feelings of the group here:

but what is the consensus? If someone is involved/collared--should the profile be removed to allow for "cleaner searches by others"?

Minor in life's scheme of things--but inquiring minds want to know---


well the cleaner search issue is really up to cm web designers, its their bandwidth being wasted when people search profiles that are for all intents and purposes inactive.

Personally i dont feel you should remove your profile at all but i think its courteous to say on top or in the last journal entry no looking so people dont have to read the profile in its entirity to find that out.

If they dont do it to section off the pros which are a big contention by many on here i highly doubt they will do it to section off the not seeking.

However that could easily be done in their search pages as a check box too.

view notseekingprofiles
view pro dommes
then on your profile add another box that says:
actively seeking no one. LOL
and on for the pros:
offering prof services box

very simple stuff really.

no i do not feel anyone should remove their profile when they find someone and i think you have to have one to post to the forums anyway.

i am sure that you get a lot of people who are from dating sites on here and on the dating sites typically a profile is removed when they find someone and of course some are just forgotten about and remain on the system because it makes a better appearance for headcount. LOL or they could care less about the bandwidth anyway.

my vote is for leave it on!

of course the millions of people on dial up could certainly make a good case for better filters or removal.





MHOO314 -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 3:04:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716

Funny, the people who complain about profiles are the same ones who dont read them



THAT is too true!



spoiledbrat -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 7:05:53 PM)

[:-]


Hello,

Since I have redone my profile several times due to changes in my life, I feel it is appropriate for one to either add that they are no longer collared or looking. Or for the lucky add that they have become the Property of.........

Why waste someone's time and energy, don't let someone take the time to send you a lovely email and have them receive a response saying "owned"

That shows very little respect I think to all the people that might find the one they are writing attractive.



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 8:41:46 PM)

I am one who enjoys seeing the profiles of regular posters on this side. I like learning just a little more like age, orientation, where someone lives, and even what some of their extra-curricular activities might be. And, as mentioned, being able to see how a person presents him/herself in profile is a good way to answer some of the most common questions that come up on the board.
I am currently not seeking, and have listed for friends only. Doesn't stop the hopeful mail the continues to crowd My email box, but that's okay, since we often find good friends or even a significant relationship when we are least expecting it. And I have often heard from regular posters on this side. I have to admit it makes Me feel good to know that My posts gave some boy the courage to write and ask Me a lifestyle question on a more personal level.
I know there are some who think it is a waste of their precious, personal time to have to even spend 3 seconds moving past the next profile that, usually, clearly states "Not Seeking" or "Owned". It makes Me laugh to think that the same person who was annoyed that you had a profile that just wasted his time took the additional time to write to you about his displeasure. It also amazes Me is that so many of them find their way to these boards so they can rant about it.
Well, let's see...at last count: No Pro Dommes, no tribute seekers, no submissives who are already owned, no Doms or Dominas who are already in a relationship, and definitely no one at all who is not sitting at their computer day and night ready, willing and eager to engage in instant chat or immediately answer *all* emails regardless of whether you just spent your precious 3 seconds opening a mail that says nothing but "hi" or "u r hot!"
*Sadly watches the collarme membership dwindling away to nothing*



UtopianRanger -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 9:11:19 PM)

quote:

but what is the consensus? If someone is involved/collared--should the profile be removed to allow for "cleaner searches by others"?


Absolutely not... I know many will disagree, but like Dusty, I like to read the profiles too. Unless you are happily married, I think you are selling yourself short by removing your profile. And while I think the profile is a valuable tool, until it's ''mano e mano'' and you get to look the other side in the eyes, you need to remember that all does, is get one foot in the door.


JMHO


- The Ranger



UtopianRanger -> RE: Thoughts on Profiles (2/11/2006 9:14:34 PM)

quote:

but what is the consensus? If someone is involved/collared--should the profile be removed to allow for "cleaner searches by others"?


Absolutely not... I know many will disagree, but like Dusty, I like to read the profiles. Unless you are happily married, I think you are selling yourself short by removing your profile. And while I think the profile is a valuable tool, until it's ''mano e mano'' and you get to look the other side in the eyes, you need to remember that all does, is get one foot in the door.


JMHO


- The Ranger



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