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Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 10:38:47 AM   
MistressLavinia


Posts: 1110
Joined: 3/6/2009
From: DFWM in the Land of LaviKinks
Status: offline 		I received a wonderful letter today from submissive sugarmummy who told me how wonderful his Master was in making him a better person.  And so I wonder,  how many have been made better, and are their bad experiences where you no longer trust or have been let down?   I believe in the build-up, but let the consensus rule

Has your Master or Mistress made you a more confident or more aware person?  Have they helped you succeed in something you never thought you would or could? 

__________________________________________________________

"'Come to the edge', he said.
They said, 'We are afraid'.
'Come to the edge', he said.
They came.
He pushed them...
And they flew." - Guillaume Apollinaire
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 11:12:18 AM   
onlyfreelycaged


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		if they don't build me up, and help me along, they don't stay in my life for long. This goes for all people, not just potential masters..

(in reply to MistressLavinia)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 11:20:22 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onlyfreelycaged

if they don't build me up, and help me along, they don't stay in my life for long. This goes for all people, not just potential masters..


Yup.


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to onlyfreelycaged)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 11:57:47 AM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		My former Mistress decided as a punishment it would be a good idea to hot glue a piece of Styrofoam to my forehead. I was told not to take it off, waited, and then She ripped it off. That day still stings in my mind because of all of the trust I gave Her vaporized in that moment. It turned into nastiness, and eventually a tear shaped scar.

The scar is quite faint, but the memory is still vivid.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 12:41:04 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic
That day still stings in my mind because of all of the trust I gave Her vaporized in that moment.

It sounds as though you didn't have much of a bond then, if one dumbshit maneuver on her part was enough to destroy all your trust in her.

Being the top is hard.  Even borderline nilla stuff is usually illegal.  And to think, "If this scene breaks bad, the bottom might never talk to me again?"  I'd want a friend, or a lover, who realizes we are going into this together, and taking the risk together.  It doesn't sound as though you've achieved that headspace yet.

The edgiest stuff I have ever done, 100% of it, has been at the urging of women who wanted to act out something special.  Maybe it's because I'm "nice" -- or maybe it's because I'm a whackjob magnet -- but female subs and bottoms have taught me virtually everything I know.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 1:14:51 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		Honestly I do not think my former Mistress cared much about headspace, or subspace, or anything BDSM related. She did not get that deep into it.

Now I feel like a dumbass.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 1:27:27 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I have to be honest, he had the ability to do that when he was *just* a friend. As a PERSON, yes, he's most certainly aided me to make my life better in all sorts of ways ...... No, no bad experiences to date and I've never, ever been let down by him in any way, over a decade.

Yes, he's been a significant force in me achieving things, while as a friend AND since owning me.

agirl

(in reply to MistressLavinia)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 1:45:09 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic
Now I feel like a dumbass.

Not my wish.  I am sorry you had a traumatic experience.  An awful lot of women, maybe most, have been "technically" raped -- sex when they didn't want to have it.  Your styrofoam story might be something like that.  I was trying to say that if you're in a relationship with someone who can destroy your trust with a single act, then you don't really trust her.  Moving forward, I hope you filter out the people you choose to submit to, and select people you can be more confident in.

Also, to the extent you can trust no woman, because of what happened to you, you're closing yourself off to something potentially good.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 1:49:44 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLavinia
Has your Master or Mistress made you a more confident or more aware person?  Have they helped you succeed in something you never thought you would or could?


My answer: I sure as hell hope so. I've been with the woman for 15 years. If I haven't, you'd pretty much need to conclude I was a total waste of her time.

Her answer: No, I have not made her more confident or aware. Yes, I have helped her succeed in several things she never thought she could. She'd like to know if 15 years of happiness counts for anything.

You gotta wonder what the answer to the reverse question on the dom forum would be.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to MistressLavinia)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 1:57:45 PM   
MistressLavinia


Posts: 1110
Joined: 3/6/2009
From: DFWM in the Land of LaviKinks
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

Honestly I do not think my former Mistress cared much about headspace, or subspace, or anything BDSM related. She did not get that deep into it.

Now I feel like a dumbass.




Pyro you are not the one whos a dumbass.  As you and I have spoken theres now a new way we learn whos really into the scene and who isnt.  Live and learn, and you did.  Thats not a dumbass, thats touching the fire and not going back.  Pyyyyyyyro!  (okay maybe cause weve become tight I favor you, but your still not a dumbass)    

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 2:02:20 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		Yes the filter is stronger, and no I do not not trust women. I had to learn how to trust men again, though. Or people in general.

I am looking forward to happiness.

Moving Onward!


< Message edited by pyroaquatic -- 6/15/2009 2:04:33 PM >

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 2:19:32 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		i am not sure made me confidant or away but he has sure made me happier. I mean i was a happy person before i met Master now i am even happier so in that way he has had an impact on my life.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 3:10:40 PM   
GabrielleSlave


Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline 		i was a strong person before i met Him, but since then He has given me self confidence, happiness, inner peace and more happiness and fun than you could shake a stick at lol!  eg i may have been strong before, but i was the most shy person i knew...... Now i run a munch lol!  i think the most important thing however, is that He has given me back to myself.  i am the person i was always supposed to be; i know that because i am no longer trying to be someone else, trying to fit in and not feeling quite right.  i feel whole, settled and very much where i am supposed to be.  ThankYou Master!

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 4:34:56 PM   
kuriouswitch


Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		Master's done a lot to build me up. before him I'd go days without eating, I couldn't keep food down because of stress so I just didn't eat. And I'd go days or weeks without sleep. So he put me on a sleep and meal schedule and that's helped a lot, and he helped me find ways to release stress. Plus with Master I've gained more confidence as well.

(in reply to MistressLavinia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 5:04:09 PM   
DVsFox


Posts: 133
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline 		I'd like to think we make one another better.  As iron sharpens iron, so one man(or woman) sharpens another...to paraphrase a favorite Biblical passage of mine.

DV's Fox

(in reply to kuriouswitch)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 5:06:27 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I think we both make each other better people. We help to build each other up because that's what people do for each other who they really care for.

(in reply to DVsFox)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 5:21:20 PM   
brandi1379


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline 		Without Sir's help i would have never realized who i really was. He helps me stay positive, and opened my eyes to awhole new lifestyle,and i thank him greatly for that .

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 5:27:43 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I am a better person because of the confidence he's helped me find.  I'm a better person because of his love for me, and my love for him.

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to MistressLavinia)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 5:30:09 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I've been let down several times by Doms for various reasons but I can't say I regret my experiences with them since it has enabled me to know what I want and am looking for in D/s and in a relationship.

The Dom I am with now is wonderful. He's done so much for me in helping me see what I want and what I need to do to get it while also challenging me to do new things. He has a way of inspiring me to simultaneously try something new while giving it my best shot and it's very exhilarating - he's a wonderful teacher/supporter/friend/lover/Master and I'm very lucky. I hope to have this current relationship for a very long time and if it doesn't work out for whatever reason I have learned  what to look for in the future as he's taught me the most important thing of all...that there is indeed someone out there that is worthy of my admiration, love, and respect and feels the same way in return.

(in reply to MistressLavinia)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Today a sub enlightens - 6/15/2009 7:03:01 PM   
silvermuse


Posts: 259
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline 		It took my Master four years of working with me before he was able to get me to submit a story for publication. He pushed until I finally said 'Fine, but if they reject it we leave the idea alone.'

That was six years ago. He's still my biggest supporter. He still reads everything I write.

He still believes in me.

muse

_____________________________

There is darkness and there is evil, never mistake the two.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 20
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