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RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 - 6/17/2009 12:27:14 PM

leadership527

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I'm old-school. I'm also in a committed, 24/7 master slave relationship so other relationship types don't apply. But Carol has given me all the authority. With that goes all the responsibility.

For me, the buck stops at my desk... every time... no exceptions. Whatever it is, it's my fault. If she lies to me, it's my fault. If she sleeps around behind my back, it's my fault. No exceptions.

Many, of course, will not agree.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 - 6/17/2009 1:05:24 PM

pyroaquatic

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If that is the way you choose to see it then so mote it be, Leadership Jeff Man.

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RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 - 6/17/2009 2:29:48 PM

confineme971

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Joined: 9/22/2008
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I am quite glad I asked this question here...many interesting things I read now and it just makes me more confident i am about to do the right thing

thank you all

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RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 - 6/17/2009 2:35:44 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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I agree with Jeff. The more rights, the more responsibility. It's probably the major reason we are D/s, besides having seen so many idiotic M/s types that we were just turned off. He doesn't think he has any Godlike ability to foresee the future, and he doesn't want to do something stupid that would ruin the relationship. So I hold responsibility also, since both of us are looking out for trouble we are more likely to see different possible pitfalls and avoid them.

But I hold to my statement about limits. If you're never going to require it, then from a practical point of view it doesn't matter if she says she'll never do it. I won't sleep with his friends, but he would never permit me to. In effect the limit doesn't exist since the situation will never come up.

And if you'll all excuse me, there's more damned laundry waiting to be done.

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RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 - 6/17/2009 3:42:49 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
I agree with Jeff. The more rights, the more responsibility. It's probably the major reason we are D/s, besides having seen so many idiotic M/s types that we were just turned off. He doesn't think he has any Godlike ability to foresee the future, and he doesn't want to do something stupid that would ruin the relationship. So I hold responsibility also, since both of us are looking out for trouble we are more likely to see different possible pitfalls and avoid them.

*laughs* Yeah, and back to labels. I don't know all that much about your relationship Des, but from what I know and can infer, I'm going to guess that it's been a while since you said, "no" and held to it if he disagreed. Call it what you will, but your relationship has always sounded a lot like mine to me but with more kink.

quote:

Des points out I'm counting angels on pin heads by saying:
But I hold to my statement about limits. If you're never going to require it, then from a practical point of view it doesn't matter if she says she'll never do it. I won't sleep with his friends, but he would never permit me to. In effect the limit doesn't exist since the situation will never come up.

Fair enough. I have to admit that this is about the least pragmatic part of my entire viewpoint. But yes, such things really do matter to me. This is about as close as I come to "lost in fantasy-land" but hey, I think I deserve at least a tiny break from pragmatism *laughs*.

quote:

Des gets decidedly un-lost in fantasy land when the buzzer rings
And if you'll all excuse me, there's more damned laundry waiting to be done.

Since you're not here to defend yourself anymore, the answer is 229 angels can dance on the head of a pin unless they're doing the tango which takes up more space. Then only 173 can do it.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 - 6/17/2009 4:29:14 PM

MarcEsadrian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: confineme971
...being on the verge to become a full 24/7 slave (not a sub, but a real slave) to a certain Lady, although my mind is probably already set, i would like to know if there are such slaves living in a such arrangement...and also if you could share some of your experience here.

There certainly are, but it's not typical to find too many people really doing something like that in forums like these. Actual slavery is a difficult thing for the human mind to grapple with outside of temporary fantasy fulfillment; the reality can be very different as the days turn to weeks, to months and to years. Your conditions and treatment depend upon your Keeper's personal style and aptitude as a Mistress, of course. Without knowing her back story, motives and philosophy, it's difficult to say if what I know and have experienced would mate well with your apparent future. What I can say is be certain you're committed to no longer living for yourself. No matter how malleable your brain is, there will be roughly a six-month (or longer) period of adjustment you will have to contend with as you divorce yourself from your surface egocentricities and accept not only physical but mental confinement and conditioning. Becoming a personalized creature for the sole gain and pleasure of another is tremendously difficult when you have lived for yourself throughout your entire life up until this point. You will stumble several times on this path; it is inevitable, no matter how loyal and committed you believe you are at this moment.

I say the above with the assumption the woman you seek to serve is a scholar, and not simply a hobbyist with her head in the clouds. I assume that she has at least some cursory understanding and interest in the level of human psychology this will involve, but more ideally taking detailed interest in how she will keep, condition and make use of you. Likewise, I assume she understands how to lead well and inspire your continued departure from free living.

Keep on the path, and good luck.

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RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 - 6/17/2009 4:49:38 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
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To me, being a slave is pretty much all about the mundane life. What i mean by this is its not about actions its simply about BEING. You live in a state wherein you exist in your life as a slave to someone. This means a lot of things -- the biggest one for me is that i lived in an environment that he created so that i would reach and maintain his standards and expectations. It means that my life was a life of living as he determined i would exist in his life. My autonomy was taken from me as was my self-determination because of his mastery and enslavement of me (NOTE: This was his responsibility to achieve not mine). However, the actions of being a slave can easily be compared to every life in the word, however, the mindsets and understanding of HOW you exist in his life is as well as the hold he had on me through his mastery and enslavement of me created the security and results because of how he held me in slavery to achieve what he wished of me when he first assessed my potential to do so.

Sorry i can't be more specific, but you will find once life kicks in as a slave -- its mostly about exhaling and simply being within the existance you are allowed based on the determination of who owns you. What to expect initially i would say expect the feeling of chaos and uncertainty as you will be trying to control your slavery. Expect frustration at times as things progress and you adjust and she adjusts to the determinations as well as with each other. Expect to be disappointed. What i mean by this is expect that your expectations may be so high and fantasical that the reality and actuality will make you blink sometimes and go well hell did i miss the ride? And expect to be completely giddy at times as you are in fact transformed as someone stated earlier -- you will be transformed as mindsets, strategies, expectations, standards, and your life changes to settle beneath the will of someone other than yourself. Most importantly, i would advise this -- try not to try and think what slavery to someone is LIKE but enjoy the experience as you react and instinctively exist within it. It will come together as some days will be good, some bad, some horrible and some euphoric. Also understand -- some days you will be an obedient slave and some days you will be disobedient. And ya know -- being a slave in actuality to someone is simply life - your life.

angel

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

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RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 - 6/17/2009 9:04:39 PM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I disagree sometimes. I said I wasn't hungry on Saturday when he was ready for lunch!

But we rarely disagree. Mainly because the few times we have, it has always come down to miscommunication or insufficient information. So why get all hot and bothered about it, when the next morning you figure out what the other person was trying to say? Or you go get some more info to solve the problem?

I am a very practical person is what it comes down to. It isn't getting my own way that matters, it's finding the right way.

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Cynical and proud of it!

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RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 - 6/17/2009 9:28:42 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
I am a very practical person is what it comes down to. It isn't getting my own way that matters, it's finding the right way.

And how odd that from the other side of the leash, I completely agree with this statement. At work I used to tell my team, "Nobody cares or remembers who was right in the beginning. Being right at the end is what matters."

I hold with my statement, you can call them both whatever you want, but your relationship and mine sound pretty similar.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 - 6/18/2009 9:05:57 AM

maia09

Posts: 113
Joined: 6/10/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: confineme971

...being on the verge to become a full 24/7 slave (not a sub, but a real slave) to a certain Lady, although my mind is probably already set, i would like to know if there are such slaves living in a such arrangement...and also if you could share some of your experience here.

thx

Yes - there are many. But not sure what you and your Lady's idea of a 24/7 slave relationship is. It's an extremely individual thing. For me it amounts to what Master wants, Master gets.

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.

"I will always be the virgin-prositute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman." - Anais Nin

Owned by Chairman

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RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 - 6/19/2009 6:27:15 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
I hold with my statement, you can call them both whatever you want, but your relationship and mine sound pretty similar.

Absolutely. Probably because we both hold the relationships to be paramount. It isn't about what's best for him over what's best for me, it's about what's best to keep the relationship healthy and strong. And looking at it like that means we seek win/win solutions instead of viewing things from a more adversarial perspective.

Only we have more cookies than you do!

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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