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Just Wondering - 6/16/2009 4:15:12 PM   
brandi1379


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline 		I was wondering how does it make you as Masters/Dom's feel when someone vanilla or apart of the BDSM community complements your sub/slave? It could be something as simple as she/he has pretty eyes. Does that give a sense of pride and joy knowing  that person belongs to you? Or does it spark jelous feelings? Thank you all for your comments! 
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RE: Just Wondering - 6/16/2009 5:01:05 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Pride.. absolutely.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/16/2009 5:11:58 PM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brandi1379

I was wondering how does it make you as Masters/Dom's feel when someone vanilla or apart of the BDSM community complements your sub/slave? It could be something as simple as she/he has pretty eyes. Does that give a sense of pride and joy knowing  that person belongs to you? Or does it spark jelous feelings? Thank you all for your comments! 


Yes, without a doubt
When someone compliments my girl (Which happens very very often) I see it almost as a compliment to me, at the least to my good taste in grabbing her up :P
When they compliment something that I know I have changed, as opposed to any of the countless wonderful parts to her she had before she met me, it gives me a deeper satisfaction and in a way makes me feel as though I am living up to my commitment to her.

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/16/2009 5:36:43 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		makes my day lighter..or when they bitch about them..it makes it darker..

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/17/2009 12:35:29 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		compliments or admiring glance...

proud.


(of course, HE's the dom, and I'm the sub..LOL  well, as close to that as our dynamic gets, anyway...)

edited for wrong word


< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 6/17/2009 12:36:10 AM >

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/17/2009 4:57:23 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		In a word...PRIDE!

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/17/2009 7:44:54 AM   
BarnacleBill


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline 		Pride of course and happy in her growth that others see it and like it. Lets you know your lessons were useful to help her grow more. Most have those talents they just need a slight nudge to bring them out!

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/17/2009 8:21:50 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		In general, us guys compete against each other on pretty much three vectors:

a) How successful are we materially?
b) How successful are we physically? (sports and the like)
c) How desirable is the woman on our arm?

There ya have it. Your mileage may vary.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/17/2009 8:46:10 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I tend to be with women other men lust for.  Its good to be me!

That said, how I react has a lot to do with HOW someone pays the compliment and HOW my partner reacts to it.

If the compliment is paid to me, I love it, if it is paid to her with the intent to flatter her or us, I love it.  Some however, pay the compliment in such a way that their intent to pry them away is clear and while I find it irritating, I rarely get jealous because my partners are with me for a reason.

Most of the women I have been with enjoy attention from men.  How they react to it has varied greatly however.  My first partner loved it but was NOT the best at making sure I felt included when someone complimented her.  She would sometimes turn her back to me while receiving attention or somehow not include me in it.  I was too inexperienced and my relationship and communications skills were not good enough to see why I reacted and to find ways together to make it work for me.

BSB loved attention but being the classy woman she is, I never felt anything but connected to her.   She would turn and grab my hand and only then say "thank you" or somehow mention me "Michael loves this dress too" or some such thing.  Funny thing is too, that because she handled all that so clearly but in such a low key way, I don't think she ever got hit on while we were at a party, not even by poly people.

So, whether someone allows their partner to be complimented without jealousy is a much more complicated thing than it seems at first glance.  Like most things in a relationship, there are at least two people making things happen.  Working together to deal with things like this is one of those issues that can bring a couple closer together.

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/17/2009 9:14:07 PM   
cagliostro


Posts: 128
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline 		It warms my heart.  I worry that she might not appreciate my compliments.  When it comes from somoene else, I get to say "I told you so."  :)

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/17/2009 10:45:04 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		What Padriag said....pride

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/18/2009 5:26:13 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Yep, pride...Big silly-grin pride.

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/18/2009 5:30:02 AM   
Drakontos


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brandi1379

I was wondering how does it make you as Masters/Dom's feel when someone vanilla or apart of the BDSM community complements your sub/slave? It could be something as simple as she/he has pretty eyes. Does that give a sense of pride and joy knowing  that person belongs to you? Or does it spark jelous feelings? Thank you all for your comments! 

Someone telling me my property is pretty get's nothing more than a shrug of the shoulders from me. I know she's pretty; I don't need another to tell me what I can see myself.


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Drakontos
zaphira

Live with honor; serve with grace and beauty

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/18/2009 2:00:38 PM   
mrandmrsb


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline 		I am always proud of her.  When someone else compliments her it only intesifies that feeling.

Mr B

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/21/2009 4:37:46 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brandi1379

I was wondering how does it make you as Masters/Dom's feel when someone vanilla or apart of the BDSM community complements your sub/slave? It could be something as simple as she/he has pretty eyes. Does that give a sense of pride and joy knowing  that person belongs to you? Or does it spark jelous feelings? Thank you all for your comments! 


Usually I'm indifferent to outside comments. It's what I think that matters. And I'm not one for throw away remarks. How can you comment on someone you don't know particularly well? Substance is what matters and until you know someone well then the comment is pretty much worthless.

On the other hand where the comment is from someone who knows my woman well and someone whom I respect then I take the comment as meaningful. Still however I wouldn't feel a sense of pride - I'd be pretty much unmoved.

I feel it is bad form to comment on someone else's woman. I tend to go with the mind your own business school of thought. Nothing to do with jealousy: more the case that it's a private matter.

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/21/2009 6:31:28 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm always proud of clip, whether someone else sees what I see or not.

As for the other side, MP found that other males complimenting Me was a turn on to him long ago.  He enjoys it.  I think it comes from the "I've got what they can't have" angle.  Of course, there have been one or two exceptions to the rule.


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RE: Just Wondering - 6/21/2009 7:31:40 AM   
xBullx


Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brandi1379

I was wondering how does it make you as Masters/Dom's feel when someone vanilla or apart of the BDSM community complements your sub/slave? It could be something as simple as she/he has pretty eyes. Does that give a sense of pride and joy knowing  that person belongs to you? Or does it spark jelous feelings? Thank you all for your comments! 


Just recently I had a vanilla type fellow (though he knows I don't tread what many call a normal path) at a business I frequent comment about how there is "something different about ishy, something primal and well.............plain flippin' hot!!!"

I told him she has discovered the unconditional, unencumbered inner beauty of the mastered woman. Of course that left a bit of a puzzled look on his face, initially, after a bit he looked at me and grinned rather largely.

I smiled back.

And yes, I suppose I am a little bit proud of her.

< Message edited by xBullx -- 6/21/2009 7:34:19 AM >

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I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

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Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

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RE: Just Wondering - 6/21/2009 7:36:04 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		My male sub gets lots of looks from admiring females (occasionally a male). He is tall, good looking, has gorgeous long brown hair and the most beautiful icy blue eyes I've ever seen. So when a lady comments on how handsome he is, I beam with pride. No jealousy here because I know he has no desire to go anywhere and jealousy is based on insecurity, something that I do not delve into.

~Lashra


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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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