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RE: Punishing My Sub - 6/21/2009 10:47:27 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		NG, no argument IF you've already set up a situation where she is allowed to communicate her unhappiness and ask for her needs to be met. Unfortunately a lot of doms think that a sub who asks for something is automatically topping from the bottom. So if she isn't allowed to talk to you and ask for what she needs, then what is she supposed to do?

One of the things The Man first did was explain that I shouldn't act out, expecting any certain result, but instead I should just ask him for it and if possible he would give it to me. It was a major and highly pleasant change from my marriage where I was not given anything I asked for, and indeed anything I enjoyed was taken from me. Having someone who wants me to be happy and is fine with accomodating me is very rare in my life.

From what I can tell, my experiences are not at all unique.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Punishing My Sub - 6/22/2009 10:37:03 PM   
babygirl1065


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/15/2008
Status: offline 		To sweetgirlserves : That is not what I wrote at all. I am always free to tell Him what I would like and I do ...it is just up to Him whether or not I will receive it.  

< Message edited by babygirl1065 -- 6/22/2009 10:40:08 PM >

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Punishing My Sub - 6/23/2009 12:00:17 PM   
bigatlguy


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/18/2009
Status: offline

Forget about everyone else's rules. What do the two of you desire? I am sure there are acts of punishment that you both find either mentally or physically stimulating (perhaps both).
What are they? Nothing is sacred as long as it's within both of your comfort levels. If it's truly punishment she wants, do something that pleases you that she barely finds tolerable, but my guess is that she is yearning something in the relationship that she is not getting.

If you are simply trying to find creative ways to punish her, that is a different question. Talk about posting photos online, or displaying her at an out of town munch. Try different types of sexual torture that you haven't tried. With all of the free photos and video's online today, there's much to be had concerning new ideas available for free.

You might try having another dom give her commands online while you watch.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Punishing My Sub - 6/23/2009 12:30:41 PM   
sweetgirlserves


Posts: 373
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		hi babygirl1065,
oh... sorry, i should have gone back and read it again... 

~sgs


_____________________________

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." ~Maya Angelou

(in reply to babygirl1065)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Punishing My Sub - 6/23/2009 12:48:11 PM   
DaddiesKitten123


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline 		I think my breasts and hair are perfect for me!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Punishing My Sub - 6/27/2009 4:04:51 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

NG, no argument IF you've already set up a situation where she is allowed to communicate her unhappiness and ask for her needs to be met. Unfortunately a lot of doms think that a sub who asks for something is automatically topping from the bottom. So if she isn't allowed to talk to you and ask for what she needs, then what is she supposed to do?



I agree that a relationship devoid of communication isn't going to get very far. She's well within her rights to ask though she's not entitled to expect the outcome to meet her expectations. I read your post about the newspaper and your needs and I was thinking I couldn't possibly put down the newspaper - I agree that it's nowhere near 'topping from the bottom' - horses for courses and best to get the course sorted out upfront.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

One of the things The Man first did was explain that I shouldn't act out, expecting any certain result, but instead I should just ask him for it and if possible he would give it to me.



Seems fair and conducive to a productive relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Having someone who wants me to be happy and is fine with accomodating me is very rare in my life.



Schadenfreude is a strange thing.......particularly when it's ultimately self-defeating....but perhaps that's the idea.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Punishing My Sub - 6/27/2009 5:51:30 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		FR

Culpam poena premit comes - Punishment closely follows crime as its companion. (Horace)


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Punishing My Sub - 8/24/2009 3:13:57 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDomP

Can someone give me some idea's on punishing my sub. She does very little wrong but still seems to desire me to punish or be disappointed and to treat her poorly for it. My biggest issue with punishment is what she would feel punishing would also take away from me. Like not letting her have my cock, or not licking her. Any help would be appreciated.


Be wise enough to know the difference between discipline and punishment and use both correctly at the proper times

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to DaddyDomP)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Punishing My Sub - 8/24/2009 9:31:49 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		snap a pencil in 1/2 and tape it under the arch of her feet. this causes a great pain sensation. you can also put ice cubes in her ass or cunt, this too causes a very nice pain sensation, but much briefer than the pencil in arch trick.

or you can just send her to bed without ice cream and treats. that will show her

(in reply to DaddyDomP)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Punishing My Sub - 8/26/2009 1:49:47 AM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline 		excuse my reply in a masters thread,

i like spanking, so it was never a punishment.

here are some, dull, droll and boring things, that will make her behave (and get the *funishment* shes been looking for)

~written standards. graph paper highly suggested. you can do anything from numbers, to the alphabet, to copying definitions to words of your choice to copying an encyclopedia. 2 pages of this, (with ZERO error, in INK) will take her desire for punishment right away.
~chore lists. can include, your house, her house, meticulous journal entries, odd tasks, scavenger hunts etc (I craved this kind of *training* slash punishment when I was new)
~humiliation: having to go somewhere with something, ie, dick written on your forehead while buying a douche, and getting a picture with the clerk to prove it.

blah blah blah point is save the pain for when shes good ;)

_____________________________


"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Punishing My Sub - 8/26/2009 3:12:37 AM   
TurboJugend


Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline 		At OP

just whip her for complaining. But make her remember it. Punishment is not for fun ( hence the word)
No long discusions needed.

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Punishing My Sub - 8/26/2009 10:27:46 AM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		i think shes confusing punishment with play, punishment isnt fun, its disappointing. maybe she wants you to do something youre not.

for example, if she did something wrong, a lot of people say why are you doing this? do you not want to be submissive? cause you just deliberately disobeyed so that i would hurt you? thats not what a relationship is about its about understanding if you want something done like a spanking i would do that for you but youre showing definance and thats not submissive. (do not confuse this with disagreeing, i mean if the dom said do this and the sub said ok and didnt do it so you would punish her.) 

if she wants you to do something specific tell her that you can, but a good punishment for this little submissive from the sounds is corner time, no spankings. i think she wants you to spank her. lack of eye contact or maybe even speech restriction, dont talk to her for awhile to show your disappointment. that is punishment, punishment is not play.. and its not supposed to be fun, its supposed to hurt, but not physically.


_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

(in reply to TurboJugend)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Punishing My Sub - 8/26/2009 3:48:28 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		punishment is, in a way, the ultimate expression of surrender for a slave or sub.  it is at that moment when all negotiation ends, when she is absolutely at His mercy when He is expressing His total control over her and the submissive/slave can relinquish all responsibility for who and what she is and give in.  howl, cry, feel bad, feel relief, pay her dues.

its not surprising therefore that punishment for many can cross the line between highly charged emotional and physical expression of Dominance and submission and the reality of what punishment ought to be about.

punishment ought to be an effective full stop.  a sharp corrective.  something that makes her never want to repeat the insurrection and that ultimately draws you both together afterwards.

i think what she is needing is to feel that Dominance from you, the correction and the control.

if i may be so bold as to suggest, maybe its all in youre mindset.  if you can remove punishment from youre vocabulary on these occasions and see it simply as a cathartic need in her to be dominated in this way then you can see it as part of play and she can process it in the way she needs.

i dont think denying her this is going to work for you.  it is clearly something she needs to feel and go through.


(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 53
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