"Serving" (Full Version)

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Firebirdseeking -> "Serving" (6/18/2009 7:58:54 PM)

What does "serving" mean to you?  my dominant and I were discussing the use and meaning of this term....



littlewonder -> RE: "Serving" (6/18/2009 8:13:28 PM)

providing for any of his needs, wants, desires, whims that he so chooses to make his life better, easier, happier, more content.



Asherdelampyr -> RE: "Serving" (6/18/2009 8:14:10 PM)

From a dominant's point of view, in case it helps :)

For me, serving encompasses all the special things that my girl does for me, be it grabbing me a soda when she notices I am running low, or washing me in the shower, or any of the other thousands of things that she does to make my day, and by extension my life better

Or, perhaps to put it more simply, Serving is what my girl does out of her desire to show her love and make me happy :)



liks2plzlf -> RE: "Serving" (6/18/2009 11:09:47 PM)

Pleasing her, making her life easier, more enjoyable, and more financially able.



christoy -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 12:53:03 AM)

I am new here...and that is what I wish to do fo the person I care for



oceanwinds -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 6:11:51 AM)

To serve someone is to honor their wishes, even during difficult times. It is not creating drama for them to have to deal with, but to leave them knowing i can manage myself while honoring the things they might need at the moment.



pyroaquatic -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 9:20:22 AM)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2631984/tm.htm

my feelings on this have already been discussed on this thread. if you to kindly take the time to read through how the conversations play out then enlightenment on my current stance on the issue of service will arise....

for the lazy ones i will do some cut and pasting:

A decent service sub is very attentive to details, both large and small. They are empathetic and intuitive to the needs and wants of the Dominant. However preemptive they attempt to be they never step on toes and they never assume. A decent service sub will not waste energy, is extremely efficient and willing to learn for the sake of bettering their service to the Dominant.




DesFIP -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 10:30:40 AM)

I see service, I hear housework.

And expecting someone to be attentive to details without being proactive is delusional. Either you do refill the water glass, not knowing if he wants more and possibly being told he didn't, he's ready for hot tea or you don't refill it and then get asked why you didn't, or you constantly have to interrupt what he's doing to find out what he wants.. Expecting it both ways means you're setting her up to fail since she isn't a mind reader. You want her to wait until you tell her, or you don't get upset if she guesses wrong.




leadership527 -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 10:32:14 AM)

My own interpretation:

I see "service" as the proactive form of obedience. I do not think that carol has "served" me when she obeys a direct command. But when I'm sitting here at my keyboard and a cup of coffee or whatever magically appears in front of me, that qualifies.

Within those definitions, I see "service" as one of the most delightful expressions of submission.



brandi1379 -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 2:05:49 PM)

I'm fairly new to all of this but to me "serving" is doing everything that Sir tells me to without question.



pyroaquatic -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 2:20:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
I see service, I hear housework.

And expecting someone to be attentive to details without being proactive is delusional. Either you do refill the water glass, not knowing if he wants more and possibly being told he didn't, he's ready for hot tea or you don't refill it and then get asked why you didn't, or you constantly have to interrupt what he's doing to find out what he wants.. Expecting it both ways means you're setting her up to fail since she isn't a mind reader. You want her to wait until you tell her, or you don't get upset if she guesses wrong.

Could you clarify this? I am very confused.
Proactive, yes I understand this. Initiative is something that I can also understand.
Also who is directed towards?

Usually when I am serving someone I use many methods of determining if one was in need of something. Body Language, they way they move their hands, what they are doing at that time, calculating how long it would take for them to finish what ever they are drinking or eating and then quickly removing it from their ken. Even to knowing what the Dominant is going to say before they say it.

You put the Dominant's needs before your own and place all of your focus into interpreting what they need next.

i will admit though i am not the best servant in the world but i try.



daddysprop247 -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 2:26:13 PM)

well i'm one of those weird folks who generally sticks to the dictionary when trying to define words...*smiles*...the word "serving" is no different.

serving to me means (quoted from dictionary.com):
to be in the service of; work for.
to be useful or of service to; help.
to render obedience or homage to (God, a sovereign, etc.).

i am serving when i am tending to the needs and desires of others. i serve my Master by daily meeting his expectations and demands and being always obedient to him. i serve my "in-laws" by going over and helping with physical therapy and preparing dinner twice a week. in past jobs, i served my employers by always being a diligent, hard-working and meek employee. tonight i will be serving a nice vanilla gentleman by providing the companionship, affection and sexual release that he sorely needs.

for me, serving others is a reflection of my submissiveness.



daddysprop247 -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 2:36:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

My own interpretation:

I see "service" as the proactive form of obedience. I do not think that carol has "served" me when she obeys a direct command. But when I'm sitting here at my keyboard and a cup of coffee or whatever magically appears in front of me, that qualifies.

Within those definitions, I see "service" as one of the most delightful expressions of submission.


interesting definition. your definition of service would be our definition of proactive service. my Master strictly forbids proactive service as it requires presumption, and he also feels that it can be a subtle way for someone to exert control.

now if a standard protocol or rule has been established, that is different...obviously he does not wish to give the same commands day after day, year after year. for instance, the protocol of my removing his shoes and socks when he comes home from work and sits down was established years ago. it is a task i perform daily without his command. but say i were to take it upon myself to massage his feet after removing the shoes and socks (he adores foot massages btw). He would not be pleased, as i would be in effect assuming what he wanted and controlling the manner in which i served him.

so it's fascinating for me to hear from those Dominants with different perspectives.



sweetgirlserves -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 2:48:17 PM)

Service, to me, is attending immediately to his commands.  Whether they are pre-set commands  (ie... have my coffee ready every morning before I get up)  or 'in the moment' commands... "Coffee"  (drop everything and go make coffee and bring it to him immediately when ready).    And also, of course, attending to them with perfection.  When he trains you how he likes something, that is the way he should get it every time, without him needing to remind me, unless he specifies otherwise. 

The two Masters I have had both discouraged any type of proactive/anticipatory service.  For the reasons mentioned above... that was me exerting control over what 'I thought' he needed or wanted (and that subtle, small idea can snowball into major problems if you think about it).  

~sgs



pyroaquatic -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 3:05:21 PM)

So Dominants would rather have a submissive at a snap and waiting commands and other Dominants have their submissive anticipate service. There seems to be a common thread here. I can see anticipatory service being seen as a method of "topping" from the bottom but personally I like pleasing people and I like being spontaneous. I cannot help but be spontaneous, and creative.... although I can be summoned at a whim as well.

I need more experience.... of course there is never enough!



kuriouswitch -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 3:32:50 PM)

to me being of service is knowing Master as well as he knows me and knowing what he needs or wants before he has to say anything. Making him dinner if he's been out all day before I go to work or if I'm home taking off his shoes and giving him a foot rub. My favorite thing to do before he leaves is to tie his shoes, it's a simple thing I can do, and I'm at an angle where I can get the right pressure on the laces.

It also means being willing to do something Master has directed me to do, even if I don't like it and doing it with the least amount of fuss (not always easy) as well as being open to trying things that are new to me but Master has experience with them. Trusting Master fully and being completly honest even if I think he doesn't want to know or hear.



Firebirdseeking -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 4:40:06 PM)

For me, serving would never be about serving anyone sexually other than my dominant.



daddysprop247 -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 5:00:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

For me, serving would never be about serving anyone sexually other than my dominant.


what if that was your Dominant's desire/command? i serve others in many ways, including sexually, because my Master wishes for me to do so.



leadership527 -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 5:06:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
interesting definition. your definition of service would be our definition of proactive service. my Master strictly forbids proactive service as it requires presumption, and he also feels that it can be a subtle way for someone to exert control.

*nods* I'm the first to admit this isn't a word I've worried over much at all. I think I just grabbed it out of the ether to identify the concept you have called "proactive service".

Insofar as our different interpretations of that, I suspect that comes down to what presses each dom's "control" buttons. For me, the little stuff doesn't matter. I get what I need because I understand that if I command her, she will obey -- large or small, easy or hard. I actually enjoy the fact that she "takes my lead and runs with it". I'm guessing this attitude comes from years of managing high-end professionals where my expectation was I could give high level direction then miracles would occur :)

edited to add: And I should be specific, I agree. What a fascinating difference in perspective. This is one of those rare times when I get the other viewpoint completely and at the same time it's just totally alien. I'll be burning some neurons thinking about this one :)



Firebirdseeking -> RE: "Serving" (6/19/2009 5:47:44 PM)

I am going to answer your question honestly, because you asked. 

He would never want me to.  He knows who I am and I know who he is. 

I mean no offense but I do not understand a master wanting his slave or sub to serve others sexually.  It just does not compute for me.

(In response to Daddysprop)



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