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Help please - 6/18/2009 11:01:35 PM

masterbarny

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Joined: 4/20/2009
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My gf and I started to play some games... they quickly got kinkier and kinkier what a surprise... Now she confesses that she wants to be subserviant to me...

I do enjoy doing this but really not sure about how far I should go etc... so far have taught her some positions and to present herself to me... how else can I do things. She is really keen on this during the week when I am away and not so keen in person, which is kind of OK...

Any help or advice?

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RE: Help please - 6/18/2009 11:25:08 PM

SteelofUtah

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Seriously,

What kind of advice do you really think you are going to get here?

Why are you posting on a Forum and not talking to her? Are you afraid that she will think you don't know what you are doing? Guess what..... YOU DON'T, seriously you both need to talk and figure this out. No one here can have any idea how to make things work in YOUR dynamic.

But You guys should.

Steel

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RE: Help please - 6/18/2009 11:30:05 PM

Asherdelampyr

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There are an ifinate number of things that you CAN do
there are comparitively a few number of things that you SHOULD do
Guess who can tell you what those are? Thats right, the person you would be doing them to
Talk to your girl, work this shit out together and find out what you both enjoy/need/want
We are not mind readers, these are not questions we can magically answer (At least not without slaughtering a goat and a few chickens.... the chickens mainly because fortune telling is hungry work)

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RE: Help please - 6/19/2009 3:59:15 AM

CNJDom

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Since you both are new to this lifestyle (and welcome by the way), you being a bit apprehensive and she being eager is normal. There is responsibility as well as some performance anxiety that you may be feeling on how to act. Be yourself first. Learn from others and make it your own. You should be exploring this with your partner together, and open dialogue as well as frank communication is key. You will each get a feel for what the other is looking to experience from this growing relationship. There is the fantasy/reality factor, but for now...it should be very exciting and full of energy.

Read the forums here, books, whatever you can get into, but mainly get a feeling on what turns you both on respectively. Talking to each other and asking questions are a good thing. Heading out to find munches and support groups as well as joining into the local BDSM community would also be a great thing. From that point, just use common-sense and play safe and sane. If you are Dominant, then you'll be entrusted with her submission that she really wants to give to you. Take care of it. She'll trust you and the more that happens, then the more you'll both enjoy more play. I hope this helps you get an idea of what to do. Good luck.

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RE: Help please - 6/19/2009 6:05:08 AM

DesFIP

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You don't need to limit this to sex.
Ask her if her school/house work is done? If not, she can't chat until she finishes it and she must be finished by 9 or 10.
Have her learn to strip, there are youtube videos teaching this. And you will grade her after she's had a week to practice, or two.
Put in an order for your favorite meal for your return. Which reminds me, I need to make cookies today.

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RE: Help please - 6/19/2009 10:52:07 AM

Jeptha

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From: Portland, Oregon
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First of all, "masterbarny" is an awesome name!

It dons that mantle of responsibility, but remains somewhat unassuming at the same time.

quote:

...She is really keen on this during the week when I am away and not so keen in person, which is kind of OK...

Hmmm. That's kind of odd. But, ok.

As others have mentioned, it probably is a good idea to tailor things to what you two are interested in and what might be meaningful to you both, rather than try to act out what others do.

There's nothing wrong with looking for ideas and inspiration elsewhere, tho....

I always liked to have my partner write me little fantasies. But that wouldn't work well if your partner hates to write and/or can't acknowledge her fantasy life. Also, it can take time to get comfortable enough to do that. Sharing your own fantasies is probably in order, building trust, and all that.

Anyway, that's something I've enjoyed in the past, but it's not for everyone.

If you wished, you could consider having her make out a bdsm checklist of some sort. That might give you some ideas to talk about further, or follow up on or develop, etc.

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RE: Help please - 6/19/2009 6:10:17 PM

antipode

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quote:

She is really keen on this during the week when I am away

You mean, cybering? Can you explain?

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RE: Help please - 6/20/2009 8:18:31 AM

RLMK

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr
(At least not without slaughtering a goat and a few chickens.... the chickens mainly because fortune telling is hungry work)

Cabrito (young goat, slowly smoked/steamed over a wood fire and cactus) is also darn good...

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RE: Help please - 6/25/2009 3:38:34 AM

ranja

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Sounds to me she wants you to be involved with her, she wants you to inspire her to do things for you...So think what it is you want her to do and suggest/order her to do these things...
You could suggest if you want:

-that she practise deep throathing with a dildo
-if she has not got one you could suggest she does some research into what dildo she would like to own and make her order it
-you could ask her to learn how to cook certain meals for you
-have her do stretching exercises every morning
-tell her if you'd prefer her in a skirt or trousers everyday
-suggest that she ask you permission if she wants to masturbate by text or phone
-she could keep a journal for you to read so you can find out more about her
and use all this info to think up more things to make her addicted to you

good luck

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RE: Help please - 6/25/2009 4:15:42 AM

Asherdelampyr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RLMK

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr
(At least not without slaughtering a goat and a few chickens.... the chickens mainly because fortune telling is hungry work)

Cabrito (young goat, slowly smoked/steamed over a wood fire and cactus) is also darn good...

Sounds delicious, we just have to do the augery first :D

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