She said, I said, The Profile Game. (Full Version)

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fantasy69maker -> She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 9:21:53 AM)

Socially Im as dainty as a longhorn bull. So help me out here with some of my Faux Pax's
Ill throw some of my  interactions up here and you submissives are welcome to show me the better way.
Other Doms and submissives are more than welcome to jump in.




fantasy69maker -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 9:26:29 AM)

To a profile with a cute picture and the heading of "..."
I responded Cute PIC! You  look interesting. Would you care to talk about your interests some?
.
.
.There where  no interests listed or anything written about herself.
.
.
Her Reply;
" I dont respond to oneliners."
.
.
???????????????? ok what should I have said?




CallaFirestormBW -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 9:36:46 AM)

This is tricky, as there isn't much to go on in her profile. In this case, I'd opt for more words rather than fewer, but I tend to listen more to someone who seems like xhe is well-spoken. Maybe:

"I noticed your profile because of the picture, but I was unable to discover what it is that you are looking for. Would you be willing to expand on what it is that you are seeking. I am curious about whether we may be compatible."

If she still responds rudely/abruptly, then let it go and move on to the next one.

Dame Calla




olena -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 9:43:58 AM)

My guess she is lazy, bored and looking to be entertained and not serious about finding someone. You probably did not pass the test of being one to give her the effort and in the area she wants to talk about.

My advice is not to write to someone who cannot take the time to give what they require.




DesFIP -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 10:06:17 AM)

Did she have any other pictures? Any forum posts?
Because if there's a pic of her playing with her cat, or playing tennis, or mountain climbing, then you could have asked something about her other activities? Such as: obviously you're an animal lover, is that a Siamese or a Persian and tell her a funny animal story about an animal you know.

If there were any forum posts, you could have read the last couple and written with a comment on them.

Beyond that, if the profile says looking and doesn't say anything else "I was just browsing around when I came across your profile. I'm curious as to why it still says looking, when you don't mention what you're looking for. If you've found someone, good luck. If you haven't, I invite you to read mine and see if it sparks anything for you since we're compatible in location and age. And again good luck".




leadership527 -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 10:35:32 AM)

You did fine. In addition, you learned volumes about the girl in question.

Personally, I would call that a very successful communication, put the girl into the "don't ever get within a thousand miles of" category, and move on.




peppermint -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 10:55:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fantasy69maker

To a profile with a cute picture and the heading of "..."
I responded Cute PIC! You  look interesting. Would you care to talk about your interests some?
.
.
.There where  no interests listed or anything written about herself.
.
.
Her Reply;
" I dont respond to oneliners."
.
.
???????????????? ok what should I have said?


When I was looking I would have been very suspicious of anyone wanting to discuss my interests.  What sort of interests did you have in mind?  Are you interested in hobbies or were you after kink interests?   I used to get all kinds of mail wanting to know what I was into.  I put all those on my horny net geek looking for whank material list. 

As for your case, if she had nothing written about herself then I would assume she really isn't looking, if she is really a she.  Don't take the rejection personally.  It's just part of doing your seeking on the internet.  It's the reason why I suggest people go to munches and events in their area.  The people you meet there are almost certainly interested in a D/s or M/s relationship.  Remember, most of those you have contact with online are not whom or what they say they are. 




SimplyMichael -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 11:03:49 AM)

Cute pic?

Translation "the only thing that matters to me is your looks"

Now if you had managed to find something in the picture, like there was one I responded to and asked her if the city in the background was Venice, that is at least a clever angle and shows a bit about me as well.

And women with one cute picture are rarely women and even if they are, they get about 1,500 "cute pic" emails a day.  Most of them are what you got, some guy hoping to get wank fodder from doms silly enough to waste their time.




Lockit -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 11:22:01 AM)

Hey she was nicer than I would have been some days!  Some days I ignore it, some days I say thank you and roll my eyes if they email me again right away and some days I say... Yeah, but I'm a bitch.  Of course I have always had something in my profile, but most who email don't read it.  I don't list my interest in bdsm or sexual things.  I found that created far more trouble for me!  That is personal and between someone I might take an interest in and me.

If someone doesn't say anything in their profile, consider that they really don't care to find someone or present themselves or they simply are here to play games.  What I find very interesting in an ironic sort of way is that most seek out a younger person with a cute picture no matter their age and expect something older in them.  If it looks empty, it typically is.  That goes for any empty profile.  If they can't talk or type enough to say something, what are they good for?  Oh, yeah... well... a blow up doll might be just as interesting without the drama.




Apocalypso -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 11:29:55 AM)

Your username isn't helping your case either.




RedMagic1 -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 11:38:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fantasy69maker
Ill throw some of my  interactions up here

Before writing a letter, ask yourself the following question: "Why should she write you back?"  Then make sure your letter answers that question.




RLMK -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 12:38:50 PM)

Someday, I endeavor to figure out the whole dating bit -- bit mystified by it in person*, and have no clue how it works online.

*For most of my life, I either ended up dating employees, or women who introduced me by profession/vocation, rather than by name. I have no recollection how I ended up dating any of them.




Tinkerer -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 1:17:14 PM)

When I was looking for my lady I only contact women who posted a detailed description about themselves and gave an at least modest list of interests and what they were looking for in someone. This also means that you have to read! Don't just see a sizable block of lettering and think "Ok" and message her. Read her description and interests and see if they are a person you'd like to get to know. Don't let your first message be "Your hot." Introduce yourself and tell them what interests you share, and ask them about theirs, what they enjoy about it, etc. This will get you replies and a much higher quality of lady than you might otherwise.

My lady, SomethingCatchy, has given me permission to link her profile as an example.

Good luck!
-Tinkerer




LovingMistress45 -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 6:38:02 PM)

Personally I don't contact or reply to "...." profiles and would suggest you not bother either.  Those that are really looking fill out profiles.  As far as her reply figure she saved you wasting your time.  Someone with no profile in my opinion has no reason to expect more than a oneliner.




leadership527 -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 8:06:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Before writing a letter, ask yourself the following question: "Why should she write you back?"  Then make sure your letter answers that question.

Not that that's not really good advice Red, but doesn't that contradict some of the things you've written elsewhere. It certainly flies in the face of every cmail I've ever written.

I pretty much just say what's on my mind in a direct and forthright fashion. For the most part, I seem to get really good response from that strategy. I don't know that I'm in favor of needing to plan my attack every time I wish to say "hello" to someone. And anyone who's so jaded or so bratty that they cannot respond civilly -- well -- I learned what I needed to, didn't I?




RedMagic1 -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 8:15:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Before writing a letter, ask yourself the following question: "Why should she write you back?"  Then make sure your letter answers that question.

Not that that's not really good advice Red, but doesn't that contradict some of the things you've written elsewhere. It certainly flies in the face of every cmail I've ever written.

My assessment of the OP is that he is not strong in the sense of humor department, and he does not have much of a history at managing others in a diplomatic way.  I did not see value in advising him to do things that played into weak areas.  Instead, if he writes briefly but methodically about why he's a good catch, he will improve his response percentage.

What you or I might do is really kinda irrelevant here.  Different people have different strengths, and the first impression needs to accentuate those strengths.




windchymes -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 8:38:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fantasy69maker

To a profile with a cute picture and the heading of "..."
I responded Cute PIC! You  look interesting. Would you care to talk about your interests some?
.
.
.There where  no interests listed or anything written about herself.
.
.
Her Reply;
" I dont respond to oneliners."
.
.
???????????????? ok what should I have said?


I would have written back and said, "You just did."




greenearth21 -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 8:39:25 PM)

I think you did fine...by the fact that you mentioned or showed interest in learning a bit more about her.  AFTER the 'cute pic' :)  I dont think I would have said I dont respond to one liners with your initial email.  If you would have just put "cute pic"...that gets a delete.
But as some say...(I agree) if someone is serious and doesnt have much on their profile...it could be likely that they are not looking.




pleasuredancer -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/19/2009 10:06:41 PM)

Okay-- I don't respond to many emails at the suggestion of a sweetheart of a collarme regular (I won't name him because that would give away that he really is a nice guy), so here is what I look for: If they make me laugh, I might, but I am hard to make laugh. If they notice something in my profile, I might. If they are the right demographics, I might. Note, you can't change your demographics. You either fit with her secret 'needs' or you don't. Don't beat yourself up over it. Think of it as a sales call, numbers count and will be on your side most of the time.

That doesn't mean the shotgun approach works, because that has only worked once for me. Okay, so I fell for the dude-- but usually, shotgun approaches don't work. Find something you have in common, and share it.

Right now, I am emailing a two men-- one who likes to hike and one who likes to sail. They actually read my profile and shared an interest. Sure, they thought I was fuckingly hot, but I was more to that to them, I was a whole person.





ranja -> RE: She said, I said, The Profile Game. (6/20/2009 7:51:31 AM)

Yes, she just did respond to the one-liner, that shows she is enticing the op to come out with something better...i think indeed as mentioned by RedMagic that the op does not have much of a sense of humor about this...




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